Fifty plus Ten – how to seize the next decade to cultivate your life’s work and create your heritage story

Full admission, I am well into the decade that follows age 50. Still, I have been reflecting on the experiences of many friends, colleagues and clients who have found themselves in their sixtieth decade feeling stuck at the crossroads and yearning for greater meaning and purpose in their lives.

It can be an unexpectedly confusing, unsettling and lonely time. You are outwardly successful and in control, and yet you are inwardly feeling torn – you are not used to feeling so unsettled. ?Worse, you can’t or don’t want to share how you feel with those around you, partly because you can barely articulate it to yourself in a way that makes sense, let alone to others.?

I know this feeling all too well, especially when my coach asked me “Helen, what are you tolerating?” – I didn’t like the answer that stuck in my gut. Do I open a Pandora’s Box?

And then a friend suggested I read the book: “From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life” by Arthur C. Brooks.? I can highly recommend it but be warned, the author does a great job of stirring you up before getting to the success and happiness part.? As “Second Half of Life” implies, personal transformation does not happen overnight (darn!).

I am reminded of two expressions I frequently draw on:

• "What got you here won't get you there" - Marshall Goldsmith.
• If it were easy, you would have the answers by now. As an accomplished problem-solver used to being in charge of your life, this can be the most unsettling part of staring down the barrel of the next decade.

Life and career transitions can feel messy and inelegant. Yet it is down to us to initiate curating our life’s work and craft our heritage story – the one that passes on to future generations.? No one else can do it for us.? I think this becomes all the more imperative if you are well-known for a different story, be it through your career accolades or perhaps via a family legacy that you inherited.

So what have I seen and experienced that helps?

• Firstly, it is important to be kind to yourself, give yourself a break from your inner critic, and practice self-empathy. This can be surprisingly hard to do yet it is vital.
• Next is to acknowledge that life transitions are often messy and can take many months, if not years to navigate.? If this sounds like you, I encourage you to stop trying to short-cut the process and embrace the contradictions in thinking as the winding road to a positive personal renewal process.
• Get some of that thinking out of your head and onto paper, or use a journal-type app like Penzu. When I type out my thoughts I never cease to be amazed when a nugget of insight appears at around the 600-750th word even if what I have written up to that point is stream-of-consciousness drivel.
• Get clear on your strongest-held values and ask yourself that uncomfortable question: what are you tolerating?
• Craft a personal manifesto of your principles, boundaries and what matters most for you. Put it somewhere where you can easily see or access it. Let this be the compass that you keep coming back to as you move into the next decade.
• Your sixtieth decade is not the decade to focus on developing your so-called weaknesses (which are often labelled as such to advance the agendas of others with different values from you). Instead, this is a time to reflect deeply on all your experiences, talents, strengths, and pinpoint what truly makes you uniquely, exceptionally, brilliantly you. Then start to curate your life’s work and heritage story from that place. Watch surprising new possibilities unfold!
• My final tip is don't go it alone. You will be amazed just how many people struggle to go through this unsettling time and are silently suffering. And it is so easy to stay there, semi-paralysed instead of taking a next step.?

This sixtieth decade is a time of huge opportunity and personal renewal.

I love this quote by Iain Thomas:

'And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”'

What’s your next step, no matter how small, to embark on the journey of curating your life’s work and crafting YOUR heritage story? I doubt you will ever regret taking it, and the steps to follow.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference." Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken

#purposedrivenlife #legacy