Few Recommendations for Increasing EQ
One of the goal I have for myself in 2021 is about self-improvement. So the number one thing I want to work on is improving emotional intelligence.
So, here are simple verbal habits that I am working on and would like to share with you all as well. They’re simple changes, just a matter of memorizing phrases and using them in those situations.
Here are three verbal habits:
- Tell me more.”
This is one of the most powerful phrase in the World IMO, and it’s my favorite one for improving emotional intelligence. It’s also nearly all-purpose. You can say “tell me more” in almost any situation, and you’ll do things like reassure other person that you are listening and it will set yourself up for silence.
By saying “tell me more” you are inviting other person to share, explore , and may be find a solution.
2. “Thanks for your understanding.”
Try using this phrase as a replacement for something else “Sorry.” I am not saying that you should never apologize. But many of us use that word too often, when we don’t truly mean to offer an apology.
Examples:
“Sorry I missed the meeting.”
“Sorry I didn’t return your phone call.”
A key to emotional intelligence is shifting the focus of interaction from yourself to others.
Here is an example of how you can phrase your message:
“My customer needed my help on something at the last minute, so I missed the meeting. Thanks for understanding.”
“I wanted to go to call you back once I reached home, but by the time I got home, it was so late. Thanks for understanding.”
This phrase combines gratitude and sympathy, all in one package. It’s powerful.
3. "Am I making sense?”
This is another powerful phrase, and we can use it in place of two others: either, “do you understand?” or else, “do you have any questions?”
First, “Do you have any questions?”
The default answer to this question is, “no, I don’t have any questions.” This question will create a hurdle for the other people in a conversation, and it may make it difficult for the person to ask a question or be the first one to ask.
Second, “Do you understand?”
This question will put people on the defensive. The subtle message contained herein is that you’ve explained perfectly; perhaps we need to work on the other person’s remedial understanding. You can do better.
Finally, “Am I making sense?”
This is a very humbling gesture. Here, we’re assuming it might be your fault (you haven’t made sense) as opposed to the other person’s (they just didn’t understand).
That makes it much easier for the other person to respond truthfully and completely.