A FEW HUNDRED THINGS TO DO OR SEE IN THE UNITED STATES THAT MAY OR MAY NOT MAKE YOU MORE INTERESTING AT PARTIES

What follows is a list of places to see and things to do without needing your passport. Throughout my years and travels, I’ve seen many of them but many remain aspirational (so I may still have the hope of being interesting at a party). I know I’ve also missed thousands of worthy spots on my listing - so please add to it if you see fit. I hope you enjoy.

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

— See the Holocaust Museum; one of the world’s best in any museum category

— Grab a bacon cheeseburger at DC’s oldest bar - Old Ebbitt Grill (with oysters and beer)

— Spend a full day on the National Mall with all the monuments and memorials, Vietnam Memorial in particular

— Wander all that is The Smithsonian

— Listen to some music at Madam’s Organ in the Morgan Adams area

ALABAMA

— See a Crimson Tide football game (an Auburn game can be substituted if Alabama is on the road - or you want to understand the life of an unloved step-child)

— Visit Mobile and step aboard the USS Alabama in Mobile Bay

— Take in the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute

— Stop in at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville

ALASKA

— Experience Denali National Park in person or via small plane tour (and glacier lake landing); bonus points for taking the train

— Go halibut fishing in Homer - ask for a guide named Owen

— Hit Juneau and take a ferry to the hot springs in Tenakee

— Have the Caesar Salad at Marx Brothers restaurant in Anchorage. Don’t miss reindeer sausage from a street vendor

ARIZONA

— Visit the Grand Canyon (duh) – The North Rim is vastly underrated and much less crowded; it also houses an historic lodge

— Attend a Spring Training Game - or two

— Enjoy the Carne Seca and Tortilla Soup at El Charro in Tucson

— Have a blast in Flagstaff

— Eat a Navajo Taco at the Cameron Trading Post

— Seriously indulge at Canyon Ranch Spa

— Swing by the quirky little town of Bisbee

ARKANSAS

— Drive really fast and see if you can avoid a ticket getting out of the state

— Visit Arkansas wine country and try and keep a straight face through the experience

— Or more seriously, visit the impressive Clinton Presidential Library

— Tour one of the National Park Service’s best historical sites - the now fully desegregated Little Rock Central High School

— See Bentonville and what one of the world’s largest corporations can do for a once sleepy, small town

CALIFORNIA

— Hike Half Dome at Yosemite

— Go wine tasting in Napa Valley (bonus point for Sonoma or Paso Robles)

— Have the pork chop at Mustard’s in Napa

— Save up and stay a spell at The Carneros Inn

— Attend an over-the-top wine club dinner at Caldwell or Del Dotto Vineyards

— Explore Death Valley. Canyon hiking at night with a headlamp and flashlight (check your batteries)

— Eat at Restaurant Gary Danko in San Francisco during truffle season - seriously impressive service and you can actually get in here versus French Laundry

— Try cheaper fare at Swan’s Oyster bar and enjoy the company of those waiting in line with you

— Spend a weekend in Mendocino

— Walk San Francisco: all along the waterfront, up to North Beach, Chinatown and up to Coit tower; practice your math skills by counting needles, dung piles and grocery carts

— Take in a Giants game at whatever tech giant now sponsors the park

— See Alcatraz

— Make like a hippie and see the real Northern California - Eureka and environs

— Bask in San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara

— Ferry out to the Catalina Islands

— Have a guy named Vic buy you lunch at the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego

— Smuggle a single plastic straw into the state

COLORADO

— Ski and play in Vail, Aspen, Beaver Creek, Steamboat Springs, Telluride, etc. 

— Drive the Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park

— Spend a summer/fall week (end if time is limited) ambling through the towns of the Rocky Mountains

— Ride one of the state’s narrow-gauge railroads through spectacular scenery

— Take a tour at the Denver Mint; complain about their antiquated ticket system while there

— Take in a concert at Red Rocks

— Watch top-notch street performers in Boulder

— Get to the top of Pikes Peak outside of Colorado Springs

— Surprise yourself by wine tasting on the western slope (Hermosa Vineyards) and enjoy dinner at Bin 707 in Grand Junction

CONNECTICUT

— Go on a scavenger hunt in Hartford looking for anything fun or interesting (other than the Mark Twain house)

— See the Yale University Art Gallery - it’s free

— Tailgate at a NESCAC football game and stick with a winner - Trinity College in Hartford, home of the Bantams

 DELAWARE

— Blob out in/on Rehoboth Beach

FLORIDA

— Spend time in Key West. Eat at Pepe’s and go tourist at Jimmy Buffet’s - do catch a sunset

— See Old Florida and white sand beaches of the panhandle. Oysters in Apalachicola highly recommended

— Take in a Spring Training game or two

— People watch (and be watched) for a weekend in South Beach. Get a cocktail at the Delano and crash the pool if you can with a good friend

— Experience a rocket launch at Cape Canaveral, while you still can

— Experience Everglades National Park

— Drive Alligator Alley

GEORGIA

— Have a throwback dinner at Hal’s steakhouse and ask the bartender for the Smitty special (Bones, NY Prime or Chops will also suffice; though the special does not apply)

— See Stone Mountain before it’s blown up by zealots/un(der)-employed sociology majors 

— Mooch a trip to Augusta for The Masters

— Experience Savannah with a tour of the Mercer House from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil fame. Comment on how good the movie was except having John Cusack in it. #TeamJoan

HAWAII

— Pay your respects at Pearl Harbor

— Explore Volcano’s National Park

— Say 10 Eco-Hail Mary’s and a take helicopter tour at one of Hawaii’s many scenic spots - Jurassic Falls in Kaui for example. Or if you have the time and stamina (and are not religious) - hike it.

— Take the 50 mile drive to Hana on Maui

— No need to buy a Tiki necklace, Brady’s did it.

IDAHO

— Visit a Dude Ranch; Western Pleasure Guest Ranch in Sandpoint in particular, others are pale imitations

— Backpack in the Sawtooth Wilderness Area

— Take a boat tour of Lake Coeur D’Alene - and spend some time in the city

— Have a stop at Craters of the Moon National Monument

— Spend a weekend in Ketchum/Sun Valley

ILLINOIS

— Take in a Cubs game at Wrigley Field - a major rock concert can be used as a (poor) substitute

— Wipe out your rainy day fund and eat at Alinea

— Take a Chicago architectural tour via boat on the Chicago River. The best is operated by the Architectural Foundation

— Spend an evening at Buddy Guy’s Jazz Club in Chicago

— Order pot-tickers and hot sour soup at Moon Place in Chinatown

— Eat or drink anything on the menu at El Nuevo Mexicano - it’s all good - on N. Clark St

— Enjoy the staying power of nearly ninety years of Italian food at Tufano’s, the lemon chicken is a must. Less nostalgic and big-budget diners can hit Gibson’s Italia, which should last 90 years. 

— Explore Starved Rock State Park and ride the Illinois and Michigan Canal trail

INDIANA

— Go old school and eat at St Elmo’s Steakhouse - start with the vaunted, nasal-cleansing shrimp cocktail. Ask for Kerry, the manager and say hello for me.

— Go even older and enjoy the Slippery Noodle Jazz Club

— See Columbus and take in the architecture of that quirky city

— Attend a Notre Dame football game in South Bend (you don’t have to like them)

— Experience an Indy 500

IOWA

— Visit the John Wayne Museum/birthplace and Bridges of Madison County . . . both in Winterset

— Hit the Iowa State Fair - the Gizmo sandwich is not to be missed

— Catch a Cub’s AAA team game in Des Moines

— Experience “the wave” at the University of Iowa’s Kinnick Stadium. Not the annoying wave seen at most stadiums but rather the really cool act of the fans, band and players waving to the kids in the adjacent children hospital

KANSAS

— Spend May 20 in Codell. The town has been hit by a tornado three times on that date

— Hit Cawker City, just two counties east and enjoy seeing the world’s largest ball of twine

— That’s about it for Kansas

KENTUCKY

— Try bourbon tasting along the Bourbon Trail

— Visit the Muhammad Ali Center

— Experience Louisville Slugger Museum and factory tour

— Marvel at the skills of the hiring manager of the bartenders at Jeff Ruby’s downtown

— Eat at Butchertown Grocery and/or Jack Fry’s in Louisville

— Suck down a mint julep at Churchill Downs

— Experience the annual 200 mile long flea market that is Highway 60. 8 counties-long of the best junk you can find.

LOUISIANA

— Take an air-boat ride in the bayou

— See New Orleans - amble through French Quarter, Garden District, Warehouse District

— Experience fabulous service and great old school food at Commander’s Palace

— Acknowledge that some old tourist traps can still be awesome (values) and take in Mother’s for the Po’ Boys

— Attend one of the many krewes during Mardi Gras, Deveney Manor a great viewing spot

— Attend a night LSU football game in Baton Rouge

— Spend a good amount of time at the WWII Museum

MAINE

— Spend a weekend at White Barn Inn; grab dinner there at least one night - best with a special partner

— Spend some time in Portland - compare to Oregon’s Portland

— Eat at Fore Street Restaurant in Portland

— Explore Acadia National Park

— Amble around the Kennebunk area

MARYLAND

— Find one of the 100 or so “best crab cakes in Maryland” restaurants, repeat.

— Spend weeks trying to find a restaurant without Old Bay seasoning

— Visit the Babe Ruth Museum and take in a game at Camden Yards. Currently (and usually) offering cheap tickets due to a horrible team at a great venue.

— Stay at the Sagamore Pendry Hotel in Fell’s Point in Baltimore and walk the waterfront all the way around to Fort McHenry. Water taxi home

— Eat at Peters Inn - you won’t need to dress up

— Get a guided tour of the Naval Academy while hanging in Annapolis

— Enjoy the history of Cumberland

MASSACHUSETTS

— Walk the full (2.5 miles) Constitution Trail in Boston

— Recuperate at Regina Pizzeria

— Visit the Italian North End area and stop at Mike’s or Modern Pastry - and listen to everyone tell you the other one is better. 

— Take a tour of Fenway Park - you’ll learn a lot and won’t have to eat a Fenway Frank

— Hit Cape Cod, ideally in the slightly less-crowded fall

— Do a cannon ball off the bridge in Chappaquidick. Wear a life preserver as public safety is not emphasized here

MICHIGAN

— Experience the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn

— Stay a weekend at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island - bonus points for staying during the “Somewhere in Time” Weekend.

— Explore the Upper Peninsula, particularly The Kenai Peninsula and Copper Harbor

— Ferry out to camp on Isle Royale National Park

— Spend a summer or fall weekend in Traverse City. Enjoy the cherries if you’re so inclined.

— Have some fun at Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore

— Take the SS Badger ferry from Ludington, MI to Manitowoc, WI (add in golf at Arcadia Bluffs in MI and Whistling Straits - across the lake, if you’re a fanatic)

MINNESOTA

— Tailgate at the “Carlson Pavilion” before a Vikings game

— Boat tour Lake Minnetonka

— Drive and enjoy the northern shore of Lake Superior including Duluth, Twin Harbors, Split Rock Lighthouse, Gooseberry Falls, Lutsen and Grand Portage State Park

— Amble through Stillwater

— Visit St. Croix Falls

— Catch a high school or college hockey game - Minneapolis, Duluth or St. Cloud will do for the latter

— Time-travel by eating at Murray’s Steakhouse in Minneapolis

— Take a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area

— Experience an “opener” — fishing that is, ideally on Mille Lacs

— Have a sort of culinary scavenger hunt and find a menu or restaurant without Walleye - this could take a while

MISSISSIPPI

— Drive and experience the Mississippi Freedom Trail (aka U.S. Civil Rights Trail). Optional: test whether the book Black Like Me still applies by walking the Freedom Trail in black face  (compare your treatment to Portland - see Oregon)

— Drive through rural Mississippi and take in the food at any dive or diner.

— Visit University of Mississippi in Oxford (and do the Faulkner thing if you must)

— Visit Vicksburg for Civil War history and more

— Explore the Gulf Islands National Seashore

— See the Tupelo Automobile Museum

— Learn about the Blues at the B.B. King Museum

MISSOURI

— Visit Branson (voluntary whether you want to admit it or not) and enjoy the music

— Savor Stroud’s Fried Chicken in Kansas City – Some will tell you to dip the cinnamon dinner rolls in the gravy - seems to fall into Love It or Hate It realm

— Tailgate and attend a Chiefs’ game

— Do a two-fer with the adjacent museums: Negro Leagues Baseball and American Jazz in Kansas City

— Go to a Cardinals game at Busch stadium wearing Cubs gear

— Visit the National Bowling Museum and practice keeping a straight face

— Hit The WWI Museum and Memorial

— Have “BBQ-off: Gate’s, Bryant's or Oklahoma Joe’s ????

MONTANA

— Explore Glacier National Park - include taking grinder (a modified truck for passengers from days of yore) tour up Going to the Sun road

— Delve into the underground city of Havre

— Stay a spell in Big Sky

— Understand the concept of hubris/nemesis by seeing Custer’s Last Stand site - Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument

— Attempt to comprehend vastness by visiting the Charles M. Russell National Wildlife Refuge

NEBRASKA

— Take a slow drive through the Sandhills of NW Nebraska

— Take in the College World Series in Omaha

— Remember Marlon Perkins and see the Omaha Zoo

NEVADA

— Vegas is a must - any combo of shows, gambling, eating, people watching, pool lounging, etc. 

— Camp in isolation at Great Basin National Park

— Enjoy Lake Tahoe - optional rowboat ride with your brother while discussing Fredo’s sins (I may still have a tinge of bitterness over him doing shooters with my Midleton whiskey at TG)

— Take a houseboat vacation on Lake Mead

NEW HAMPSHIRE

— Smile while eating at Polly’s Pancake Parlor in Sugar Hill

— Visit Mount Washington. Ideally stay at the Mount Washington Hotel and Resort - unless you prefer the Balsams

— Hike Mount Monadnock

NEW JERSEY

— Visit Hoboken - seriously

— Walk Atlantic City’s boardwalk

NEW MEXICO

— Attend the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta (first weekend in October)

— Go Mexican at Sadie’s and do get the Sopapillas and take home a jar of salsa

— Spend a weekend in Taos . . . ideally skiing (Taos Pueblo and/or Rio Grande Gorge for non-skiers)

— Wander Santa Fe; take in their outdoor opera

— Eat at Geronimo in Sante Fe

— Walk it off at Tent Rocks State Park

— Try to comprehend electronic telescopes at The Very Large Array

— Stop in for pie at Pie Town, NM after all that brain work

— Tour the Acoma Pueblo

— Test the healing powers of the dirt at Chimayo

NEW YORK

— See a game in Yankee Stadium, test your luck in Boston gear

— Visit Saratoga Springs during race season and picnic at the track

— Get a guided tour of Lake George with Captain Don of Lake George Island Boat Tours

— Suck it up and Visit NYC during the Holidays - including a Broadway show, The Rockettes and Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center

—Walk from Central Park via Bryant Park and across the Williamsburg bridge into Brooklyn. Reward yourself with bacon and steak at Manhattan Peter Luger’s, invite friends to meet you.

— Pull up a seat and feast at the antipasto bar at Trattoria del Arte

— Suck down some oysters at Grand Central’s Oyster Bar

— Spend a day at The Metropolitan Museum of Art

— See Marcellus Hall live - often at Pete’s Candy Store in Brooklyn - for musical bliss

— See Niagara Falls - from the Canadian side - Canada is basically a colony of ours so it’s okay.

— Play golf at the Country Club of Buffalo

— Visit Cooperstown and drive the surrounding counties in the fall

NORTH CAROLINA

— Enjoy the Outer Banks and stop in at Kitty Hawk while in the hood

— Tour the Biltmore in Asheville

— Drive the overly scenic Blue Ridge Parkway

— Take in some “learnin” at the Museum of the Cherokee Indian

— Go full NASCAR at Charlotte Motor Speedway and Hall of Fame in the same city

NORTH DAKOTA

— Visit the International Peace Garden (in summer)

— Explore Theodore Roosevelt National Park

— Spend time at the Lewis and Clark and Fort Mandan Foundation

OHIO

-   Attend a The Ohio State Football Game - band geeks can enjoy the halftime show and dotting of the “i”

-   Check out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland

-   Grab a beer and sausage and peppers at Johnny’s Little

Bar in Cleveland

-   Pay homage in Canton at the NFL Hall of Fame

OKLAHOMA

— Visit the Woody Guthrie Museum in Tulsa

— Visit the Will Rogers Museum in Claremore

— Eat steak while having a cigar at Mickey Mantle’s in OKC - the lobby mini-museum is also worthy

— Pay your respects at the Oklahoma City (bombing) National Memorial

— Drive a chunk of the panhandle on a grey day and imagine (easily) how tough the depression was in these parts

— Explore Osage County and culture centered in Pawhuska - museums and quirky architecture

OREGON

— Practice your self-defense skills by wearing a MAGA hat in downtown Portland

— If you are not hospitalized, reward yourself with a craft brew and dinner - virtually anywhere in Portland - Pok Pok and Andina are highly recommended

— Visit and take a boat tour of Crater Lake

— Amble through Willamette Valley tasting Pinot Noirs along the way

— Drive the entire, spectacular coast

— Stop for clam chowder at Mo’s in Newburg

— See Fort Clatsop - the winter quarters of Lewis and Clark

— Play golf at Bandon Dunes

— Tour the Tillamook cheese factory in Tillamook

— Experience the Hood to Coast race by watching, being a driver or running it

PENNSYLVANIA

— Attend a Steelers game. Game attendance optional - tailgater watching mandatory

— Avoid the Liberty Bell unless a severe insomniac. Instead, walk through the city and dine at Dante and Luigi’s

— Gawk at Amish Buggy’s in Lancaster - but not the Amish themselves; and buy a quilt while you’re at it.

— Spend a day at Gettysburg and get a tour guide for half of it

— See Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater

RHODE ISLAND

— Visit and tour a/the Mansion(s) of Newport.

— Spend a weekend in Newport, if possible during the annual Jazz Festival

— Hit (pun mildly intended) an Italian Restaurant on Federal Hill in Providence

SOUTH CAROLINA

— Spend (at least) a weekend in Charleston walking the city and eating - Peninsula Grill on the high end and Swig and Swine for the cheap eats.

— Golf on Hilton Head Island

— Attend a Clemson Tigers football game

— Tour a rural SC plantation

SOUTH DAKOTA

— Visit Mt. Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Memorial

— Drive The Narrows Highway

— See bison in the wild in Custer State Park or Wind Cave National Park. Google the difference between bison and buffalo

— Tent camp in the fall at Wind Cave - bring “bison spray” if you don’t enjoy sleeping near large mammals

— Take a slow tour of the Badlands

— Fall for the countries most established tourist trap by visiting Wall Drug

— Visit the National Minuteman Museum

TENNESSEE

—Visit Memphis (MLK Museum, Rendezvous Ribs, Sun Records, Music of Beale Street and yes, Graceland)

—Watch the ducks march to or fro, from the fountain/elevator at the bar in the Peabody Hotel

— Visit Nashville (Kayne Steak House, Pharmacy Burger, Grand Old Opry, Johnny Cash Museum and any bar downtown)

— Eat hot chicken virtually anywhere in Nashville . . . Hattie B’s, however, is the standard

— Take in a show at the Grand Ole Opry

— See Dollywood - or at least the environs of the Smoky Mountains (ideally listening to Ronnie Milsap’s “Smoky Mountain Rain”)

—Spend time at the Shiloh Battlefield of the Civil War; the cemetery is right up there with Arlington.

—Under-compensate and see the National Corvette Museum

TEXAS

— See Big Bend National Park (it may take two weeks to get there - it is the definition of remote, but worth it)

— If you don’t like camping, stay at the actually historic Gage Hotel outside the park in Marathon

— Attend a Texas High School Football game - ala (or aka) Friday Night Lights

— Stop for BBQ at virtually any rural gas station

— Attend the Houston Rodeo

— Do Austin for at least a weekend - Music, BBQ, food truck and stay (or at least get a drink) at The Driskill Hotel; dine at Lonesome Dove bistro.

— Swing by the Alamo so that you can exclaim: “I thought it would be bigger/better/different”

UTAH

— Eat at Valther’s Italian Restaurant in Salt Lake City

— Check out Mormon Square in SLC - marvel at the marketing and truly nice personnel

— Tour the “Mighty 5” National Parks of southern Utah: Zion, Bryce, Capital Reef, Canyonlands and Arches

— Ski and stay in Park City

— Drive the Salt Flats out near Bonneville

— Stop by the Golden Spike National Historic Park commemorating the transcontinental railroad completion . . . and see the proverbial “nowhere” from there.

VERMONT

— Take advantage of Burlington’s Lake Champlain bike trail

— Marvel at the wealthy socialists in the city and juxtapose with the homeless legions - join the former at Hen of the Woods restaurant; Henry’s Diner for breakfast

— Do the autumn leaves thing - virtually anywhere in the state

— Ski Stowe to experience skiing “out East” and if you don’t like falling onto rock-ice, bike or walk the Stowe Recreation Path - ideally in fall

VIRGINIA

— Visit Mount Vernon; say thanks to George at his burial spot

— Stop at both Monticello and Montpelier – a thousand word essay comparing and contrasting optional

— Visit the Confederate White House in Richmond

— Stroll the University of Virginia Campus

— Spend some quiet time at Arlington Cemetery

— Enjoy a weekend stay at L’Auberge Provencale an Inn in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley

— Tour Yorktown Battlefield - grab a burger at the Yorktown Inn while you are there

— Stop in at The National Museum of the Marine Corps, in Triangle

WASHINGTON

— Bite the bullet and enjoy Pike’s Street Market. Salmon “slider” takes on a “baseball-esque” meaning

— Eat at Wild Ginger, a Seattle mainstay of the pan-Asian variety

— Visit the Makah Reservation in the far Northwest corner of the state

— Take a ferry out to the San Juan Islands and explore - optional kayak experience and additional option of swearing off kayaking forever. 

— Spend a weekend in Bellingham

— Take a good drive on Route 20 in eastern Washington

— Spend time exploring Cascades National Park

WEST VIRGINIA

— Spend a fall day at Harper’s Ferry soaking in the history and natural beauty 

— Eat at Dem 2 Brothers BBQ in Charleston

— Spend a night or two at “America’s resort” — The Greenbrier; tour the formerly secret bomb shelter designed for Congress to function at in case of thermonuclear war (first time for everything)

— Get lost and lose you GPS signal vagabonding the state’s back roads

WISCONSIN

— Hit a Friday night fish fry - virtually any town in the state will do, though the Nite Cap Inn in Palmyra can’t be topped

— Hit a B and B in Door County, Foxglove Inn in Sturgeon Bay is highly recommended

— Go to Lambeau Field - if timing or ticket prices don’t work for you, take a tour including the Packer Hall of Fame

— Amble through Milwaukee’s “Historic 3rd Ward” including the Milwaukee Public Market and Thief Wine Bar- keep an eye out for Mayor Wadsworth; most affable and colorful.

— See a Badger football game at Camp Randall after hitting the downtown Farmer’s Market

— Hangout or participate in the Birkebeiner (Cable to Hayward) - The Boston Marathon of cross country ski races

— Stop in Superior and count your blessings for wherever you live

— Take a tour of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin in Spring Green

— Take the kids/grandkids to a summer fete at the Wisconsin Dells. Noah’s Ark proved to be a favorite amongst Wayne offspring

WYOMING

— Spend some time in Jackson Hole

— Whitewater raft down the Snake River with Sands Wild Water Tours

— Visit Yellowstone - tent camp or in the historic main lodge

— See Devil’s Tower up close and personal

— Attend the Cheyenne Frontier Days festival

— Amble around Story and its environs

ENJOY!