Feminine, masculine and the mothering human : exploring equity in the new paradigm.

The world has become fluid, whether we like it or not. The old definitions do not hold good, and everything fixed that we used as reference once, to make sense of the world, are not fixed anymore. Everything. From workplaces to home, and also who runs them and how, and how we need to step into these new roles. If we use the old as reference to design the new, the prototypes will fail, because the parameters have evolved beyond recognition.

A recent morning, I was reflecting on women of my generation and a few generations of history, with the sole objective of finding inspiration to navigate the present. Women today are called to step into being more, doing more or else families do not function well, economies of countries take a hit.

So I wondered - is matriarchy the answer ?

(I know there is heaviness around the word matriarchy in a similar way as there is heaviness around the word feminist, even though almost everyone who utters the word from the side of advantage , is quick to clarify feminists are not haters of men, as matriarchy is not opposite of patriarchy, and hence not rule and domination by women. )

My exploration of matriarchy was to explore leadership of women : that women are capable and can lead, and have led in the past. Not that we need evidence for the right thing to be done, but evidence comforts us, validates us.

I had actually expected to see quite a few positive articles on the history of matriarchy, but to my surprise I find a strongly opposing article on top Google search results, and that too by NY Times. The article calls the history of matriarchal societies a myth. https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/books/first/e/eller-myth.html

The article triggered me at various levels, and some deep wounds in me were revealed. I wanted to gather enough evidence in the world of internet to prove the writer wrong. I felt attacked. I accused the writer of coming from a space of privilege and propaganda. Ofcourse, I could quickly find pieces of work in the feminist history who disproved the NY Times author, the notable amongst them is the work of Heide Goettner-Abendroth and her book, "Re-thinking matriarchy" : https://www.mujerpalabra.net/libros/pdf/Re-thinking_Matriarchy._best_version_for_USA.pdf

But we think we are too caught up with the words and what they mean now, and historically - matriarchy, patriarchy, feminine, masculine. If the world does have matriarchal history, patriarchy is the reality now. We are talking about rebalancing the world in the feminine energy and leadership, but nothing gets done in the modern world without the action of the masculine. It can very soon get very confusing - the goddess culture and the celebration of the feminine, patriarchy and its fall out of modern masculinity.

I believe the confusion is all because we have attached and associated biological sexual identity to genders to gender based roles to these energetic states of masculine, feminine and to the systems of matriarchy/ patriarchy.

It is pointless to debate whether the history is a myth or the ideas of the future based on that myth is a utopia. The real conversation is about how do we step into the current world and meet it where it is ? How do we problem solve from complete acceptance of the now, without feeling the need to use experiences of the past as crutches ? How do we let go off all narratives and explore life from the absolute truth of our individual mind-body composite ?

I do not say this from the space overlooking the work that needs to be put in to create equitable societies. Equity is very dear to me, especially equity for working mothers and solo parents. I am not saying we dismiss the work that needs to be put in to make it equitable for the human being with an womb - be respectful of menstrual cycles, maternity, child support etc. But I am questioning all of us women - why do we need to feel that our work in raising children has been made invisible and we have been penalized by the system ? We always have a choice of challenging, but may have opted for the convenience of silence. The real questions to ask - why do we not feel comfortable voicing it out - about the period leave that we badly need, or a career break to focus on the needs of the children ?

Its not easy. We search for justification for behaviors which are normal. As soon as we realise that all our challenges can be stripped down from the various layers of stories from societal conditionings to primordial human needs and instincts, we are freed from the shackles of boxes of man, woman, masculine, feminine, matriarchy, patriarchy.

We need an entirely new egalitarian system. The old definitions are of no use. The new paradigm is a harmony of the masculine and the feminine energy in every human. Yes, there is recognition of difference in biology , and that difference is included and integrated. The new paradigm also will have choice based "mothering" humans and their needs.

To the world, may we all evolve and awake !

( I write mostly from my experiences of being a woman on this earth, and that may influence my writing in a certain way because I too have unconscious biases and preferences, and I am also doing the work of becoming aware. Do suggest if I have had an oversight, I will be open to conversations to understand differences and adjust, wherever applicable.)