Female Leadership Empowerment And The Importance Of Fulfilment In The Workplace

The topic of female leadership empowerment is not new, and is a hot one. I don’t think it will go out of style. In the last two years we have witnessed an influx of female leaders quitting key positions which they have been holding for years, and this doesn’t seem to end.

Theories emerged. Studies got published. Many #FemaleEmpowerment activists and speakers like Dr Michelle Penelope King Chartered FCIPD , Lori Nishiura Mackenzie , Shelley Oberhofer, SHRM-SCP, ACC, CPCC Monica Kretschmer and Catherine Kaputa have voiced a stance on the ever important issues on female leadership, equality and inclusion.

But I think to understand the reasons for so many women quitting, we need to look inward ourselves. In my experience as a #LeadershipExpert, and as a woman having been at the top of an organization for many years, I can share another, different perspective.?

EndorsingDifferences

We, women, assume the position to combat and conquer the moment we settle into the high chair. And we change our natural leadership style. The major difference between a man and a woman on a leadership position, is that the majority of the male leaders would operate from a rational mind and thoughts. And female leaders would operate from the feelings. There’s a huge disconnect between the two. You would see then that the male leaders are not willing to adapt. They’re staying in the thought process of their mind.

Women are always trying to adapt. And when we are trying to adapt, it is kind of that we’re slowly losing our power, and the clarity about the future. The power of the female energy, and right now we’re purely talking about the holistic side of things, is that there’s no competition; it is creation, it is to do something better.

The energy of the male is to conquer, to compete. From a human point of view, the male energy will always be to protect, to survive, to provide, to fight.

The female energy is always about creation, about nurture. It’s about “What I can do today to make a different tomorrow”, and finding the ways to do it. It’s not the competition with another person, and this applies in leadership too.

The main problem for us women is that we’re trying to adapt. As women we always try to compete with the male who’s having competition as part of his normal way of working.?

From spirituality point of view, it’s always clear that you need to have a balance. It’s not just about one or another. You need to have both. And this is kind of the personal awareness that a person should have about themselves: which part of your energy is operating.

If you’re in fear, and a lot of women in leadership positions are in fear, you’ll never use the energy of creation. You will always use the energy of competition because this is the energy that will protect you.

And then you’re operating because you’d like to compete; then you start reacting instead of responding, which is a huge difference. You want to be faster and you’re reacting, and you’re not taking time to reflect. Because our true female nature is to operate from the feelings. And when you’re competing from the feeling standpoint, it’s dangerous, because you’re losing security in a moment.?

The Process of Decision-making

Is it better to trust your gut instincts rather than make decisions out of logic? You need to have both. If you just trust your instinct, you will never feel security. When you have the logic, and your instinct (or the intuition) is supporting you, then you will have the security, the self-image. This image always comes from security standpoint, not from the intuition. And security will always come from understanding, and then using your power.

This is when people say, "I will go with the flow". But you certainly need to have a clarity in which direction the flow is going. And people would say, "It’s my destiny." But you need to know your destination.

“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.” ―?Earl Nightingale

I was having a discussion with a client, and I asked her, do you have a destination? Because if you don’t’ have the destination, your destiny will not support you.

“People who have goals succeed because they know where they're going. It's that simple.” ―?Earl Nightingale

Discussing logic, she shared she needed to connect the dots, otherwise she wouldn’t trust her own decision. In my opinion, you can connect the dots only when you’re looking to the past. In the future there are no dots. When you try to connect the dots, you will always stay in the past and in the present. You won’t look to the future - your destination; you need to know what do you want for yourself. Your destination is in the future. And you need to have a strong desire to go there.

“Each of us must live off the fruit of his thoughts in the future, because what you think today and tomorrow, next month and next year, you will mold your life and determine your future. You are guided by your mind.” - Earl Nightingale

Then you’re moving out of your comfort place. If you don’t have desire, the destination, why would you move out of your comfort zone?

There needs to be something that will put you out of your comfort zone. And usually, people would act towards change if they would have a personal crise, or from a health point of view. Your destination needs to be somewhere that you would have a feeling of #fulfilment. Otherwise, you will always just connect the dots, you’ll remain in the past and the present. You cannot see the dots in the future. You can see the dots in your mind, you’re making the dots, and then your children or employees would see the dots and they will follow you. You shouldn't wait for the dots to happen.

The Gut Feeling

Female leaders really know how to operate with intuition. But they don’t trust it. Because they can’t explain it. They cannot say, "I have a gut feeling". Because the gut feeling is not a decision-making argument. It’s the numbers, the projections, the analytical method behind. The decision-making in business is never based on intuition.

People are smart enough and they’re using intuition in a way they can present the hard facts. This is where a lot of us professionals are struggling because it’s easier to say I have a gut feeling. But you need to put the gut feeling in action, means, explain with numbers, with environment, with the facts with the tools, that the male leaders would understand. They will never support that your decision is made based on intuition. We, #FemaleLeaders,need to use this strong element in decision-making. We need to understand how the other side is making decisions.

We don’t need to prove that we’re equal. We need to understand and use our power the right way. For us the only one that we need to convince, is ourself, this is the moment when we need to have clarity of who we are, and that we’re not male. We should not act with male energy, because this is not our energy. Combine it, because more and more women are prone to go to the male energy to adapt to the environment, less and less fulfilment you will have.

So, because for the female leaders the biggest competition for them is themselves. We’re not competing with the men. It’s us who we are competing with. And if we take it one step further, If we would not have this in our minds that we need to compete, which is the strong energy of the male, then why would we compete even with ourselves or with others?

Is it because we want to be successful? But how to define success? Is the success that you’re successful like a male? Because your success is different. Our fulfilment as women is totally different. The fulfilment that we would need to have, to have a fulfillment, is a lot more about others than ourselves. The fulfillment for the male energy is pretty simple. They need to have the security, wealth, health, happiness. For the female part it’s the influence, it is the legacy, a lot of things you cannot measure.?

The Importance Of Fulfillment?

The reason why a lot of women leaders are now struggling, I think, is because more and more they’re aware that they’re different. That they have the intuition, and they’re not trusting it. And then they want to adapt to the leadership style of the company, which is harsh (it is competition, it’s fulfillment in the performance). And the more you are part of that, the more your body, mind and spirit are putting you back and creating a gap. You don’t feel confident anymore, because you feel something’s not right, but you can’t point it out.

So many female leaders have quit their jobs in an influx. They pointed out that they’re not satisfied anymore. Many people struggled to understand why they were not fulfilled, why were they not satisfied with what they had? Professionals are climbing the social and career success ladder, they’re aimed for this top positions.?And people are wondering, well they have(had) it, why did they quit?

And to understand why these CEOs were not fulfilled, you need to know what does fulfilment mean for you. And if a part of the fulfilment for you is freedom, then the company can pay you whatever, you would be happy for some period of time. But then when you reach the level where you have enough, and the only thing which is missing is freedom, then we know that the freedom is priceless.

We need to be aware that nobody is asking us to adapt. But upon taking the new seat, female leaders assume the role to adapt, because most likely we have it in our minds that it’s the only way to be successful. Because we’re observing others and we’re trying to adapt. Sometimes it’s the easiest way, to forget about your female energy and say: “Okay, I’ll do it your way”, because you know you can do it.

The male will never adapt to our female energy, because they don’t see a need. Not because they would not like it, but because they would not see a need for it. It’s not on purpose.

The companies never reason that you need to adapt. The position is not a reason. Then what is? It’s your insecurity. Because instead of being authentic to yourself, you are adapting to be accepted. You’re melted in the environment because sometimes it’s the easiest way to be successful, to be promoted, etc. You’re the one who’s adapting to the organization. And you need to understand the organization to which you will go to. You need to understand what success looks like for you.?Because sooner or later you’re going to have two options: either to adapt, or to leave.

You should have in mind that the way to measure your female success should be always different than the male.?As an example, when I was in HR, for me the biggest success was to see others being successful, but I couldn’t measure this. I couldn’t measure what I was giving to the others if I was giving it with the wrong purpose. I was there to support people, and that was my purpose.

You need to know what can provide you with the feeling of fulfilment. You always need to have some success measurement that you can fit to the organization to say, "I’m successful".

For 5 years, I have been a top achiever in a company, but that didn’t bring me fulfillment. It wasn’t the reward, it wasn’t the performance. I discovered that guiding and advising people out of my environment in my coffee and lunch breaks was the thing that brought me fulfillment. The performance was there to show the company that I can do it and that I am successful.

Every business woman needs to understand this: what Is the performance (the goals, the competition) and to also understand what is her fulfilment, otherwise she’ll be lost in the energy of the competition. We can’t escape it.?

The way ahead?

How can women be supported in that? First, to be ok that you’re different, that you’re acting from the feelings. This is ok. We should not be ashamed of what we have. We have the intuition. We have the feeling to support others. It’s always about the relationships. It’s always more about to give than to receive. Understand your power. Then, you have to be clear what is your company expecting from you from the performance perspective, and you need to deliver it or overdeliver sometimes.

And second, put in your measurement prism how you will measure #success of your fulfilment. Because the fulfilment will give you the power to operate the performance. Ask yourselves, where does your fulfilment feeling come from? Identify it. It’s the result of something that you’re doing. The more you do this, your fulfilment will grow.

Never expect from the company to bring the fulfilment. It’s not fair to the company and the position. The company and the position are the conditions of the environment. You’re responsible for the fulfilment. People are going to their jobs, they don’t know what brings them fulfilment and they blame the company and the position, the manager. It’s not fair. Take the power back. The fulfilment is more than a job.

We need to be very fair to the companies to say what you have to expect from the organization. The company cannot provide your fulfilment. It’s up to you. And companies are not your life, it’s an exchange place of money and knowledge, and time.?

Read more about why people need to be career-conscious, and what career consciousness is in my next Newsletter edition! Stay tuned!???

#FemaleLeadership #FemalePower #WomenInLeadership #WomenInBiz #WomenInLeadership #EmpoweringWomen #EmpowerWomen #EmpoweredWomen #EmpoweringOthers #HappyAtWork #HappyWorkplace #SuccessfulWomen #FortunatPeople

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