Feelings
(c) 2019 - Earl Trout
Chatty Cathy, the second most popular doll of the 1960s, had a string coming out of her back. When you pulled the string, she said things. Barbara Millicent Roberts ( better known as Barbie) is the most popular doll of the sixties… and of all time. More than a billion Barbies have been sold. Barbie has been produced with more than 150 different occupations (including Astronaut Barbie, Paleontologist Barbie, Marine Corps Sergeant Barbie, etc.) She also has many plastic accessories, including a boyfriend name Ken.
The reason I bring up Chatty Cathy and Barbie is because this year’s hottest Christmas toy is a new line of dolls named Darbie and her boyfriend Ben. They come with strings attached.
- “Fauxcahontas Darbie” has high cheekbones and low integrity.
- “Journalist Darbie” — when you pull her string she lies.
- “Barby Darbie” comes with an Australian grill.
- The “Politician Ben” doll is two-faced.
- “AOC Darbie” — when you pull her string, she says something stupid.
- “Mainstream Media Ben” pretends everything AOC Darbie says is brilliant.
- “Mix & Match Darbie” has interchangeable parts to create all seven legally recognized California genders.
- “Speaker of the House Darbie” — pull her string and she announces, “Feelings and fourth generation hearsay are far more important than actual evidence.”
- The “House Intelligence Committee Chairman Ben” doll comes with a shredded constitution.
- “Green New Deal Darbie” includes both a private jet airliner for attending global climate change conferences and wind-powered roller skates for when she wants to play “common person commuting to work”.
- “Athletic Supporter Ben” has a uniform for every female sports team, so he’s ready to instantly become the biggest, strongest player on any women’s team when you pull his string to make him say, “Today, I feel like a girl.”
- “Divorced Darbie” has a house, a car, and Ben’s favorite dog. You pay for that doll every month.
- “Mousey Tongue Ben” doll hates America but pretends to be merely a socialist.
* * * * *
“But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow”
— The Beatles
* * * * *
The above is an excerpt from my latest blog post. Please subscribe. There is no subscription fee, no advertising, and I do not share email addresses. (However, you are required to laugh!)
https://blog.earltrout.com/subscribe/
—Finis—