Feeling Your Feelings Series

There’s a lot to unpack here, but let’s start simple.

People have feelings. I’m not sure where they come from or where they go, but I’ve noticed feelings in myself seem to come out of nowhere. Sometimes I understand where the feeling originated. Maybe someone cut me off in traffic, and for some reason, my ego is triggered by it, and suddenly I’m shouting at the other driver. I didn’t ask for it, and I’m not sure exactly why I’m yelling, but it all happens in an instant. Then it dissipates in a few minutes, and I forget the whole interaction, or worse, it lingers, and I start ruminating about the whole thing - for days, weeks, years… depending on the event and trigger.

So what are feelings, and where do they come from? Again, I’m not sure. However, I have learned how to feel them without reacting immediately. I can feel the feeling for what it is and avoid the yelling or other reaction - which generally causes more harm than good.

It’s important to remember that this all takes lots of practice. That’s why it’s called a meditation practice.

Step 1 - Set a timer for 10 minutes and find an uncomfortable pose. It could be holding your arms out to the side, sitting on your feet, or another slightly uncomfortable position.

Step 2 - Hold the pose and notice the feelings that come up. Notice how strong they are. Do your best not to think about what’s happening. Just breathe into the feelings. Notice them without reacting. Respond by taking another breath.

Step 3 - Whether you come out early, make it the full 10 minutes, or go for 20, 30, or more - you will have taken the first step towards responding to your feelings instead of reacting.

Often the reactions cause more damage to the situation or relationships, while a response generally makes things better.

So, remember to notice and feel your feelings and breathe.