Feeling Whiny? Help Someone Else

I live in Sun City AZ - a beautiful place, except that it's so elderly white privilege that it sometimes gags me, especially when they start whining ad nauseum about their rec centers, and how many feet they're allowed for foliage in their front yards. I recently attended an HOA meeting in which two loud, shrill females started personally attacking the accountant whose financial explanation they didn't want to accept. I finally called them out on it - and people rushed to thank me after the meeting. Seems a group of 6 had been doing this all year and no one had spoken up. I thought to myself at the time that these folks needed a hobby - something that helped others less advantaged than they. Then perhaps their foliage would move from front and center of their small, self-indulgent worlds.

I belong to NextDoor - an online community of neighbors who've proven to NextDoor that they do indeed live in the area. Most of what goes on there is along the lines of "Can anyone recommend someone to repair my washer?" and "I have an easy chair for sale." There's also an events section. I posted three events, all local. One was the next NOW meeting, another last nights AZ Democratic party LD (local district) meeting, the third the Toast and Tour fund raiser for Eve's Place, a local domestic abuse shelter and support group. I didn't editorialize, didn't say "you should attend." I just posted the notice of where and when and what.

Then the whining began.

One woman said that politics didn't belong on NextDoor, that she had to put up with that "crap" in her local paper and on Facebook - why should she have to put up with it on NextDoor. Seven people thanked her. One man told me I had no right to post the events. (I DO.) One woman private messaged me that she couldn't deal with Democrats and was leaving NextDoor. Finally, three people stepped up to agree with me, one of them posting the guidelines that proved the events I posted were perfectly acceptable. The irony is that these whiners were the same ones that had posted about some legislation before the state congress that allegedly threatened the upkeep of Sun City's rec centers. In this rec center posting - and many responses - were calls to action, telling people to vote against the bill. This behavior is contrary to the NextDoor policies but no one objected.

I finally said I was dismayed by the head in the sandism that had people thinking that politics was "crap" and that rec centers were important issues next to the many severe ones this country faces. I suggested that people spend their time on causes that help others less disadvantaged. One woman said, "Okay, Sharon, gives us some for instances."

My reply:

"Cindy, in response to your question, I'll try to be succinct - I have a presentation at NOW at 1pm that I haven't written as yet - but it's an important question. First, I don't have all the answers. 

• But my first thought is that VolunteerMatch is a great place to start, as anyone can set up her or his filter / preference system and easily see what's nearby that meets her interests.
• " Last night's LD21 meeting brought to mind two great causes that could use help - sexual trafficking victims (yes, they ARE local, unfortunately) and first and second-generation immigrants who are afraid of deportation - to help them know and understand their rights.
• There are many schools and districts so poor that they can't afford the equipment and books they need to help children thrive, and children who need tutoring.
• There are seniors in nursing homes that no one visits, or in their homes who can't get around and need to get to the doctors' office or the grocery store, or just someplace for a relaxing bit of time outside the house.
• Planned Parenthood needs escorts.
• There are people who can't read who need help learning to do so.
• Eve's Place - a wonderful organization devoted to preventing and overcoming domestic abuse - needs volunteers. When I toured there I also noted how empty the shelves were that held clothes for infants and children up to age four.
• SCORE can always use volunteers who have business management experience, to help others just starting out. The majority of our country's business is small business - many need help getting off the ground.
• The list goes on and on and on. 

"Cindy, when I attended our street's HOA a couple weeks back I was appalled at all the whining about minutia - and the personal attacks that resulted when these folks didn't get their way. All this from people who simply didn't have enough to keep them occupied - weren't invested in easing the suffering of folks less advantaged than they. I thought to myself that these people need a constructive hobby; it would make them happier, and help others at the same time.

"Would that all of us who have the physical and / or mental stamina would step up and help some cause(s). It doesn't have to take up a lot of time and energy. There are even things that can be done from home, such as phone calls. In addition, it's an opportunity to meet new people - ones we wouldn't usually run into at the Rec Center or on the streets of Sun City. I don't know about anyone else, but I get tired of spending all day every day around my age group. Young people keep me young at heart. And helping people more disadvantaged than I helps me feel good about myself, and recognizing that I do indeed live a better, more advantaged life than many others."

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This isn't about politics, folks. Nor is it about religion. I don't think I buy into that Jesus is god thing, though if the stories about him have any truth, he was a kind, selfless and compassionate man. He only whined one time - when people stuck nails in him and hung him on a cross to die. I doubt he'd ever have whined about his flower beds and his recreation center, and I doubt he'd support that behavior either.

NO, this is about helping each other, and in the process helping us realize that perhaps our lives are richer than we thought - certainly richer than the lives of many others.