Feeling Underappreciated?

Given the stressful times we live in (and the crazy profession we’ve chosen to pursue!) it seemed to me a good time to share uplifting and encouraging insights with you from time to time. I hope you find them useful, valuable… and maybe a bit entertaining and thought provoking.

Since every PM, at least sometimes, feels underappreciated, I thought I’d share some ideas from the “What To Do When You Feel Underappreciated” category.

I think we can all agree, feeling taken for granted is awful. It affects us and our teams. When our best efforts seem invisible to our leaders (or loved ones!) an unbearable feeling of being disrespected can set in. We know this and yet, a majority of people feel it coming from the people most important to them, when it could be so easily avoided.

So, what can you do? Since there are many ways to express appreciation, a powerful first action is to explore and analyze your assumption. Perhaps they are expressing their appreciation in ways that don’t reach you but they don’t realize it (remember, there are 5 Love Languages so sometimes things get mistranslated!). Consider, for a moment, how their expressions might mean appreciation of you in another way.

If you still believe you are not being appreciated, as a second step, speak up. It is difficult, and it is possible the person is unaware that you feel overlooked. Consider that they’d really want to know, and simply alerting them gives them the chance to express their appreciation and adjust their communication going forward. (I have to admit, this is extremely hard for me to do!)

One of the reasons it is important for you to practice these two steps is because you need to model healthy actions for those around who also feel unnoticed, unappreciated, before they devolve and become angry and resentful. It’s not fair that you have to lead, but you do!

I also know sometimes you have to move on because of how dysfunctional the situation is, but taking those 2 steps first will empower and validate your choice to end a relationship of chronic disregard.

I could go on, but I know you are busy so I close with one last thing… Be specific when you express your appreciation for others, by saying something like, “One thing I really appreciate about you is how you…”

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Your appreciation fuels your teams, and your important personal relationships too.

Have a great week!

John

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