Feeling Trapped? How to Get Unstuck

Early in my physician career, when things weren’t all the rainbows and butterflies that I’d imagined during my training years, I felt like I was stuck.

Actually, I felt trapped.?

I had spent years getting to the place of finally being a “real” doctor, and it wasn’t as great as I thought it might be.

I had invested so much time, energy, and money to get to that point, and the thoughts that began to swim in my head were, wow, did I choose the wrong career?

How could I have gotten it so wrong?

I could tell you all the gory details of why I felt that way those first few years.

But the details are beside the point.

We all have examples of how we wished something were different in our lives at one time or another.

The conflict we experience when reality doesn’t meet our expectations is called resentment.

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We resent the reality of the situation, wishing for some other outcome.

They shouldn’t distribute the workload like this.

The call schedule shouldn't be made this way.

He should know what I’m thinking without me having to tell him.

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And when we resent something, we resist it.

It’s like banging your head against the wall, hoping the situation will magically change.

It isn’t productive energy.

Ask me how I know.

I spent way too many months complaining about that first job.?

How the distribution of workload didn’t make sense, how it wasn’t fair that I had to move from hospital to hospital each week, lugging my microscope and pending cases with me, how my colleague had negotiated a better call schedule than the rest of the group, etc. etc. etc.

I wasn’t happy. And probably all the people who had to endure me complaining about my job were wishing I'd actually do something about it.

I felt stuck.

What was worse was that I had just spent all this time training for this career - what else would I be able to do?

When we feel like we don’t have options, resentment intensifies leading to resistance and retaliation (more on these ideas another time), which is a rabbit hole to unhappiness. This can lead to stress, burnout, depression and more.

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One way to combat feeling stuck, is to recognize that you actually do have a choice in how to respond to any given situation.

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While I didn’t realize it at the time, by continuing to rail against my situation - I had made a choice. ?And it wasn’t helping me to make the situation any better.

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Gaining awareness that multiple choices exist for any given situation is empowering.

In thinking about how to deal with a less-than-ideal work setting, let’s outline what those options are.?

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Five Choices to Improve your Work Environment

1. We can choose to continue to stay in the situation.

This is essentially choosing to remain helpless and in conflict.? When phrased this way, most of us don’t like the idea that we are choosing to remain helpless, or remain a “victim” to our circumstances, yet this is the option we choose by default when we feel trapped.? Although not the best option for creating overall happiness, there are some potential benefits.? If we don’t have to take responsibility for the situation, we don’t really have to do anything. ?We may even garner sympathy from others.

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2. We can choose to leave the situation.

If it is a job that you are not happy with, or even a career you aren’t happy with, you do have the choice to leave it.? Sometimes this may not feel like an ideal option, or even a good option, but recognize that this is another choice that is open to you. ?

Tomorrow, you could quit and become a beach bum or start your own business.?

This option may have consequences that you are unwilling to accept, but depending on the circumstances, it could also be a good choice.

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3. We can accept the situation.

Accepting the situation does not mean suddenly it’s butterflies and unicorns every day.? Accepting the situation may mean, coming to terms with the idea that while it is not ideal, I am able to tolerate it at least for now.? This option is level 3 energy, where we try to find the good in the situation.?

This isn’t the best work environment, but I’m willing to tolerate it because I like the patient population and the salary.?

Although this option is better than remaining helpless, it may be less-than-ideal in terms of our long-term happiness.

Tolerating something, still implies some level of resentment.

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4. We can change the situation.

Maybe the call schedule or division of workload just really irks you, and if that were fixed, the job really would be great.?

One of the clients I coached was feeling stuck at work but ultimately realized she just wanted to see fewer patients each day.? She brought the request to the group and ultimately was much happier with the job afterwards.?

Recognizing what it is that’s not working for you, and doing something about it, is an important step towards greater happiness.

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5. We can change our perspective of the situation.

This is the most empowering choice we have available to us.? This choice might take some training and preparation.

When we see the world differently, the world looks different to us.?

There’s always that one person that just seems happy, regardless of what’s happening on the work front. ?

I could choose to spend my energy focused on all the things that irk me about my job, or I could focus on all the things that I love about my job. ?

Our thoughts create our reality.

We may prefer something be different, but we can consciously choose to think about the work situation from a different perspective and bring great energy to the experience.

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Recognizing that you do have choices is an empowering awareness.? In reality, we still have student loans, mortgages, family considerations, and other obligations which may keep us in a less-than-ideal work environment.?

Choosing one of these options may not result in our dream job, but in making a conscious choice, we exercise our autonomy.? In choosing how we respond, we can feel less “stuck”, and this can lead to greater overall happiness.

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Feeling stuck? ?Ask yourself, “What change in my thinking would be necessary to create great energy around this less-than-ideal situation in my life?”

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Hi - I'm Tracy and I help physicians (and non-physicians) who want more out of life to create the life they really want.

thehappyphysician.com

My goal is to help inspire a happier world one person at a time.

Want to learn more about working with me as your coach? Send me a message!

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