Feeling stuck? What can you do about it?

Why is it so easy for so many of us to feel stuck?

Are you feeling stuck? At work, at home, in relationships, with our finances, our health condition? Whatever the situation may be – we have all been there, have we not?

Most people, at some point, feel trapped by patterns of thought, behavior, or circumstance. Why is it so easy to get stuck, and more importantly, how can we break free from these cycles? Much of what makes us feel “stuck” stems from social conditioning and past experiences, which form the foundation of our self-concept, behaviors, and beliefs about the world. This conditioning is woven into our lives through various societal messages, social expectations, and life experiences, which all contribute to how we perceive our potential and limitations.

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Social Conditioning and the Roots of Limitation

From early childhood, we are bombarded with social norms and expectations that shape our understanding of what is acceptable or achievable. For instance, messages about career choices, financial status, physical appearance, and relationships often start in childhood and become reinforced over time. Statements like “You should find a stable job,” “We do not have money,” “That is just how it is,” or “You are either born with it or you are not,” become internalized and restrict our mindset about what is possible. These are just a handful of “limiting statements” though perhaps offered with the best of intention become permanently etched in our psyche. Psychologists refer to this as “social conditioning,” where cultural, familial, and social messages form mental frameworks that dictate our perception of reality.

Unfortunately, these mental frameworks can be extremely limiting. By reinforcing certain beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities, social conditioning can create cognitive biases that prevent us from stepping outside of established patterns. For example, someone who has internalized the idea that they “are not good at math” may avoid or struggle with it throughout life, even though such a belief is often shaped by early academic experiences or societal stereotypes, not inherent inability. As noted by social psychologists, these limiting beliefs can shape how we approach challenges, ultimately leading us to feel “stuck.”

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The Nature versus Nurture Debate: Finding Balance

The tendency to feel trapped is often discussed within the long-standing debate of nature versus nurture. Are we shaped more by our genetic makeup (nature) or by our environment and experiences (nurture)? The behavioral sciences have shown that both factors play a role in human development, but recent research leans increasingly towards the idea that nurture — our experiences, environment, and learned beliefs — has a significant influence on behavior and mental health.

While our genes may provide a blueprint, they do not define our potential. This understanding has been emphasized by Dr. Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief, who challenges the notion that our DNA rigidly determines our fate. According to Lipton, genes are not all-powerful controllers but rather “responders” to our environment. He argues that DNA can be activated, deactivated, or altered by external factors, including our thoughts, beliefs, and lived experiences. Lipton’s work demonstrates that we have the capacity to influence our biology through our environment and mindset, placing significant power in our hands to shape our future.

For instance, studies on neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to reorganize itself, have shown that the brain can form new connections and pathways throughout life in response to new thoughts, learning, and experiences. This flexibility suggests that, while we may feel stuck due to social conditioning or past experiences, they do not irrevocably define us. By understanding and shifting our mental frameworks, we can challenge old conditioning and create new patterns of thinking and behavior.

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Breaking the Cycle: The Power of Environment and Self-Awareness

The belief that our genetic blueprint is the sole determinant of who we are is not only limiting but also misinformed. Influential studies by Lipton and other behavioral scientists suggest that what triggers genes to express or remain dormant is often environmental — not purely biological. This aligns with the understanding that we can “reprogram” our subconscious mind and alter behaviors ingrained from conditioning by changing our environment, adopting healthier beliefs, and engaging in introspective practices like journaling or therapy.

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Take, for instance, the concept of “epigenetics,” which focuses on how gene expression is influenced by environmental factors. Researchers in this field have found that factors like stress, diet, relationships, and even our thoughts can modify gene expression without altering the DNA sequence itself. In essence, while we may be born with certain genetic tendencies, it is our environment, mindset, and actions that largely shape how these tendencies manifest. This perspective suggests that we hold more influence over our mental and emotional wellbeing than we may have previously believed.

By becoming aware of the beliefs and limitations conditioned by society and questioning these “truths,” we begin to create a mental space that allows for growth. Techniques such as mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral practices, and self-reflection (awareness) can serve as tools to help us identify and challenge limiting beliefs rooted in conditioning. For example, someone who feels compelled to always be “perfect” in their career can reflect on the origin of this belief and recognize it as a societal standard, rather than an inherent personal failing.

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Conclusion

Moving beyond “stuck” can be achieved by embracing Self-Awareness and Choice.

Dr. Bruce Lipton’s findings remind us that we are not slaves to our DNA. By understanding the impact of social conditioning and the dynamic relationship between nature and nurture, we can reclaim our power to shape our lives. Although social conditioning and biology play roles in shaping who we are, they do not wholly define us. Instead, we can actively reframe our mental narratives, challenge limiting beliefs, and adopt practices that align more closely with our authentic selves.

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While it is easy to feel that our past, our conditioning, or even our genes dictate who we are, the reality is far more empowering. By acknowledging the strength of both nature and nurture, we can break free from perceived limitations, learn to navigate the spaces in which we feel stuck, and unlock our true potential. You have more control than you may have realized. You can choose to move beyond “stuck.” It is your choice. Choose NOW.

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I personally believe that while biology has an influence, environmental and psychological factors play an equally, if not greater, crucial role in determining our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

The works of Dr. Bruce Lipton and many other researchers in psychology and behavioral sciences support the concept that we can transcend limitations set by both biology and conditioning. While there are numerous methods or modalities that can be useful in overcoming this experience of being “stuck,” I advocate the use of Narrative Therapy, Journaling Therapy, Inner Child Healing, Guided Visualizations, and Hypnotherapy.