FEELING OBSOLETE?

How my journey from feeling obsolete to success can be your own. 

It wasn’t easy. 

Pull up your favorite chair and settle in for a motivating tale of overcoming obstacles and becoming a guiding light and healer. So, you can have the courage to be your true self and the freedom to be fully expressed.

I am about to be 100% vulnerable with you.

In our society you are obsolete when…

•  You reach a certain age
•  Your kids leave home and the nest is empty
•  The job you’ve been doing no longer exists
•  Your business has no sense of direction
•  You don’t keep up with the trends
•  You’re feeling complacent

Plus, many more negatives that keep a normal middle-aged woman in business up at night.…Having you wonder, if you might be next.

It’s my plan for you to extract at least ONE THING that will help you.

Many things were far from perfect growing up.

Understanding that all that we experience in life (failures and pains) happen for us rather than to us. This is extremely important for you to fully understand the process. My past is the strong foundation for not giving up, doing it anyway, and being successful no matter what.

I was finally adopted at 2 years 8 months after being in 6 different foster homes.

My adoptive parents had come from hard lives and didn’t know what love was. I never felt loved because they doled out severe punishment, ridicule, and debasing to force me to learn lessons. I was spanked with hairbrushes, belts, even the blade of a butcher knife.

One day I did something wrong and my mom pulled me over her lap to spank me with the hairbrush. I said, “Hurry up and spank me so I can go out and play.” Oops, then I got grounded…but the spankings stopped.

 My father loved to ridicule.

 Here’s some things he’d say, “You are so stupid you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.” Or “Girls are to stay home and make babies, the men go to work.”

Despite this, I had a belief from early on that people are always doing the best they can with what they had to work with.

I could forgive the harsh treatment. 

I developed an attitude of “Watch my dust! I can, TOO, do it!” So confident and brave. Which made me stay in the game no matter what.

I learned some very valuable lessons from my parents

For example,

• When life takes a turn…I know I can do it
• Feel the feelings and keep moving
• Business skills and good decision making from my dad, the entrepreneur

Several years later, I graduated from HS and on to college with a BS degree in Nursing.

I became a psychiatric nurse. So, I really understand human dynamics.

I took many risks in my career, which led me to many opportunities for learning and growth:

• By time I was 25 I was the Director of Nursing for two psych hospitals. 
• Managed 4 outpatient clinics throughout California
• Project manager for computer installation at a county hospital.
• Management consulting redesigning the workflow so that a computer would be part of the work vs extra work
• Excelled in sales: Sold coaching services up to $450,000 per year on the phone I hour per day.
• Executive and life coach since 1991 (before coaching was the thing to do)
• And I earned a master’s degree in management in 1991, so I understand business.

All the above plus my life experience is what has made me such a good coach. Those things come as a complete package to serve you best.

 My husband retired, and we moved to Mexico in the Baja.

I was working with 17 businesses in Portland, OR. at the time and gave them the choice: Go it on their own, get referred to another coach, or I would work with them over the phone and visit every quarter.

 7 of my most favorite clients stayed with me. For a few years, I worked with the clients on the phone and visited quarterly.

My husband and I had such fun. We got to explore Mexico and the culture in our motorhome.

THEN IT HAPPENED…

One of the companies I was working with was located in Canada. They managed 21 swimming schools and asked me to create a day-long team building seminar.

A consultant had worked with them for ten years (seems like an employee to me) and would be working with the middle managers as I worked with the execs. I insisted that he participate in the seminar because I would be using new language and tools that he would filter down to the middle guys.

We were in the seminar when someone asked a question…

The consultant interrupted and gave an answer that showed he was operating from an obsolete 30-year-old business strategy! That moment felt like a lifetime. I was able to make him look good, give the relevant answer, and complete the seminar.

 BUT… This moment was a total LIFE CHANGER for me

An immediate visceral and gut-wrenching reaction took over. I shrank inside with fear that I could become obsolete. My head was spinning, and the end of my career flashed before me.

I was devastated. Almost 60. Who would hire me, and for what? Actually, I felt like I had nothing to offer. All of this happened in a few seconds.

The fear of becoming obsolete was so great that I stopped taking new clients. I wanted to quit while I was at the top of my game. 

My passion and purpose are to be of service and make others’ lives better by going deep for the transformation and then giving them tools and practices to sustain the changes.

How would I do that if I wasn't a coach? Mexico brought me a new possibility.

While in Mexico a major issue with residential building contractors emerged. People would come to the Baja and buy a lot, go home and sell their home, and give the contractor $10’s of thousands to build their home.

 And He’d buy a truck and run out of money for the house.

I knew nothing about construction, I couldn’t even hang a picture straight in my living room. But I could manage people and projects and speak Spanish. Of the 30 contractors interviewed, all but 2 were ruled out.

San Felipe Management Services: A construction management business was born…in Mexico!

We generated $1.7 M in revenues the first 18 months.

My experience with management and psychology helped me immensely and will help you. The employees would do anything for me because I treated them with respect and as the experts they were. Their culture and values were incorporated into my leadership style.

I was proud that I had a very successful business in a man’s world in a foreign country. My purpose of being of service had made life better for the customers and my employees.

 My husband was unfaithful with the young local women AND ran the credit cards up to $65,000 while I was engaged in growing my business. He had volunteered to take over managing the finances. 

After some time, I began to feel that something was “off” about our money. I went to our online banking and found that he had changed the passwords. He had promised several times to update me and didn’t. 

I remember vividly driving down the hill toward the Sea of Cortez begging him to tell me what was going on. He said we had a lot of debt but wouldn’t say how much.

A year earlier we owed only $3,000. I’m now feeling terrified and screaming, “How much is the debt?” $10,000? He said, “More” $20,000? More. $50,000? More. Up to $65,000.

I felt sick to my stomach, betrayed, scared, hurt, and angry all at the same time.

After trying to work out a payment plan and him spending even more money, I left.

The housing and building market died in 2008 and shortly after that I had to file for bankruptcy.

I was again devastated. What should I do now? Obsolete” showed up again. Reinvention of myself was the next step. Starting over is now not new to me.

So, I made a list of all the things I wanted in my life: live by the water, walk to shops and restaurants, be around people that were alive (not with retired people and spending their time playing dominoes) Staying in Mexico was not an option. I wanted to be in SoCal.

In 2009 I visited the cities that I found on the internet that might be fun to live in. Went back to Mexico, sold my half of the business to my administrative assistant, and moved to Long Beach, CA in 2010.

I didn’t know a soul. 

This was the first time in my life that I didn’t have to “care” for something: pet, child, husband, etc. I spent 6 months being with myself, exploring what I wanted to do. I found myself getting more and more irritable: even yelled at people on the freeway…so out of character for me.

Using the tools that I had taught my clients in the past; I went inside myself to explore what was up. What was missing for me was passion, purpose, and a reason to get up in the morning.

My passion and purpose are to be of service by leading people to find their gifts, helping them to share the passion (love) inside them, so they can make their life more fulfilled.

If I could build a successful business in a foreign country in 18 months, I could coach again.

At a networking meeting I was to be interviewed at home to see if I was a good fit for them. The group wasn’t a fit, but the person interviewing me hired me as her coach.

Woo Hoo!

We went to a fundraiser together and a lady friend of hers sat with us and asked, “What’s going on with you? You look ten years younger and you have a sparkle in your eye.”

“I have a coach,” she said as she nodded toward me.

That friend hired me to be her coach.

Yay! I was hat off and hair flying!

Now, I’ve always had my own coach since 1984 because I believe that what gives me the right to coach someone else is that I do my own work.

Finding the right coach can be difficult. I’ve been a coach since 1991 and have business and life experience expertise. What I found were young and right out of coaching school. I could run circles around them.

So, I created an advisory board for me.

There were 12: Einstein, Leonardo DaVinci, Mother Teresa and more. I created a binder with their picture and how I wanted them to support me.

For example:

Compassion from Mother Teresa and to think outside the box from Einstein.

However, negative, self-effacing, and my obsolete conversations were still in my head.  I needed to go deep and really, no kidding, heal those “conditions” I was stopped by. My desire was to be out there speaking to people so that I could be more visible. (I didn’t know a soul and it is hard to create a cast of thousands when I only knew 6)

The best coach found me. She called me out on not owning my wisdom. My “obsolete” conversation was smashed, she called me up to my higher self AND she did it with love.

I was a good coach before and yet I was not in my heart. Learning to love that little girl inside like I wished I had been loved, owning my wise woman and, to embrace all of me as I am, with love. Would you like some of this? I know how to show you.

•  I learned that self-care is the most important thing to do.
•  It’s like putting on your mask on the airplane before you help someone else.
• You can own your value, worth, wisdom, and learn how to share it with others.
• You can hold the space without judgment for others in their pain and transformation.
• We could never be obsolete as long as we are committed to personal and professional growth.
• Most importantly, connect with your higher power to pull you forth when being human is too hard.

I am totally committed to be used fully and in action to change the conversations in the world from fear, scarcity, and competition, to conversations of empowerment, abundance and community.

This learning and growth led my credit rating up to over 800, bought a new car, got a shitzu pup, named ULI, and took up gardening and oil painting.                       

Treating myself to fine jewelry and trips to places like Japan, Vietnam, Prague, Budapest, and more happens regularly

When I live on purpose I coach people through the process of transforming their pain and coming out on the other side. So they can feel free, loved, and believe that they are not and never could be obsolete.

You are here for a purpose, you can identify your purpose and use intention to stay aligned with it, no matter what. Having a purpose can alter your inner conversation from "needing to get it right" to "watch my dust, this will be." That is so powerful.

Learn how to stay in your heart and be a feminine leader on the planet. A feminine leader leads from the heart and has the courage to stand for others’ greatness no matter what. I stay connected to myself, God and community so I can be that stand.

If this story of success, obsolete, and reclaiming yourself resonates with you….

If you’re feeling unfulfilled, knowing there’s something more….

If you want to connect with your passion and soar…

Let’s have a conversation and see if we are a fit to work together.

Schedule your complimentary Discovery session with me CLICK HERE