Feeling the mental burnout? The one thing you need to have
What would you do in that situation?
A client of mine was recently torn between staying silent on an uncomfortable issue or speaking up and risking their standing at work. Should they speak up or let it slide, this one time??
It depends on the context, you would say.? But what if this keeps happening and less and less sitting well with you, to the point where you are hating your job altogether??
How long do you think this situation will last until you feel burnt out??
Inner conflict will arise at many key moments, it will be times when we will be called out of our “neutrality” and forced to choose between self-preservation and holding our grounds - beyond the usual “grey” area.
How you do draw the line between what’s acceptable and what’s not: by having your own code of integrity.
But first:
What would you do in that situation?
A client of mine was recently torn between staying silent on an uncomfortable issue or speaking up and risking their standing at work. Should they speak up or let it slide, this one time??
It depends on the context, you would say.? But what if this keeps happening and less and less sitting well with you, to the point where you are hating your job altogether??
How long do you think this situation will last until you feel burnt out??
Inner conflict will arise at many key moments, it will be times when we will be called out of our “neutrality” and forced to choose between self-preservation and holding our grounds - beyond the usual “grey” area.
How you do draw the line between what’s acceptable and what’s not: by having your own code of integrity.
But first:
What having a code of integrity have anything to do with burnout (and fulfillment too)?
One word: alignment.? Burnout happens not only because you have too much on your plate.? It happens when the amount of your output is not met with enough on the other side of the equation (i.e. decent pay, potential for growth, validation, promotion…). It also happens when you feel powerless in front of an injustice, and when inner conflict kicks in, between doing the right thing and self-preservation.??
Code of integrity = peace of mind, i.e. 1/ this is where I draw the line and 2/ this is what I aspire to be.? Your code of conduct will inform you what is worth your time and energy- positively and negatively, leaving you feeling more grounded and connected to your purpose.
Step 1: start with your values
Your values = your guidelines for what you stand for.? Now extend this to what irks you.? What anti-values can you identify?
Create a list for both.
Step 2: clarify your non-negotiables
Once you have your values, determine your non-negotiables—the boundaries you will not cross or will not allow others to cross. Non-negotiables help you understand where compromise is possible and where it is not. Start by asking:
Write down these non-negotiables. Be specific; this is not the place to generalize. You will likely tolerate more from your boss and less from a peer or a junior, and you’ll be more vocal when a loved one crosses the line versus someone you barely know.
Step 3: refine your personal integrity test
Create a set of quick “integrity checks” for when you need to make a quick check-in. Here are a few examples -?
In a nutshell, how can I act in a way that is honoring and self-respecting while acknowledging the consequences of my actions on myself and others?
Step 4: when in doubt
While the ultimate decision will always be yours to make, it can be a huge responsibility to shoulder. Do you have an inner circle of trusted advisers that you can go to?? We all have our blindspots, and fear will show up, sometimes on point, and sometimes amplifying or even creating risks that are easily mitigated.
Have a list of people you would go to depending on the subject: mentors, former colleagues, therapist, coach, significant other, etc...? And make sure to include a few lawyers when it comes to work issues too (in case!).??
All is in place.? Now two things to wrap up:
Learn to listen to your body’s signals
Gut reaction is a real thing.? Trust your intuition when it is telling you something is off.? It’s not about reacting to it, but to learn the signs that your unconscious mind has picked up, and that got translated into this nagging feeling that something is not quite right. Train the intellectualizer in you to lend an ear when this happens and to take the time to investigate the why behind that feeling.??
Stay flexible and revisit your code
Our values and priorities can shift over time, so allow yourself to revisit and revise your code as you grow. Checking in periodically helps ensure your code remains a true reflection of who you are now, not just who you were when you first wrote it.
? 2024 Mayda Poc Coaching. All Rights Reserved. This article is provided for informational purposes only