Feeling as Healing through Grief

Feeling to Heal: Embracing Grief in Difficult Times

Loss and grief are an inevitable part of our human experience. It touches all of us at different moments in life, sometimes when we least expect it. The sources of grief are varied and deeply personal—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a significant life change, or even the gradual shift in identity as we grow and evolve. Each type of loss brings its own unique challenges and feelings, making grief a complex and layered experience. Recognizing that grief can stem from a variety of life experiences, including the loss of an election (experienced yesterday, today, or tomorrow), can help us approach it with the understanding that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to healing.

Grieving is an unpredictable journey that doesn’t follow a linear path. It’s often marked by waves of emotions that can come and go without warning, leaving us feeling disoriented. One day, we might feel okay; the next, we may find ourselves overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or confusion. This emotional rollercoaster can make it difficult to manage day-to-day life and leave us feeling isolated, as though we’re carrying an invisible weight that only we can feel. Yet, this is a natural part of the feeling part of the grieving process, and it’s okay to experience it in all its intensity without needing to “fix” or rush through it.

In October of 2022, I lost one of my older sisters, Brenda White, who lived in Houston, Texas. After her passing, the world just didn't make any sense. I felt like I had the worst case of jet lag. A part of my spirit still lived in a world with her in it. Yet, I had gotten violently yanked out of that world and expected to function in this new reality that she was no longer physically a part of. A new reality I refused to accept. I remember having an overwhelming feeling of heaviness and exhaustion.

If you’re grieving right now, you may be experiencing a heaviness that’s difficult to put into words. This weight can feel like it settles into your very bones, draining your energy and dimming your days. It’s a burden that can make even the simplest tasks feel monumental. This article isn’t here to give you a checklist of actions or push you to “move on.” Instead, it’s an invitation to explore how embracing and feeling your grief, rather than pushing it aside, can be a powerful path toward healing. Sometimes, the most profound healing comes not from avoiding our pain, but from allowing ourselves to truly feel and process it, one step at a time. I heard the amazing Lee Mun Wah Wah in his transformational documentary The Color of Fear, say, “the answer to the pain, is in the pain.”

Feeling Your Way Through:

In a world that constantly tells us to stay strong, allowing ourselves to feel can be a radical act. It can be hard to slow down, to sit with sadness, especially when we’re taught to keep going, keep producing, keep smiling. But our emotions connected to grief and loss deserves our time and attention. There is no shame in feeling deeply. Sadness, anger, confusion, numbness—these are all part of the journey. Grief doesn’t adhere to schedules or deadlines, and there’s no “right” way to grieve. It’s okay if your grief doesn’t make sense to others; it only needs to make sense to you.

?The Quiet Power of Stillness:

In times of loss, stillness can feel daunting. When the world around us is loud and our pain feels even louder, the instinct is often to distract ourselves. But sometimes, sitting in the quiet, with no agenda or need to solve anything, can be healing in itself. Stillness can give us space to process emotions, to let them surface without judgment. These quiet moments, though they may be uncomfortable at first, can become a refuge—a safe place to let your heart speak. In the silence, you might find clarity, a bit of understanding, or even a glimmer of peace.

Small Acts of Self-Compassion:

Grieving takes a toll on the body and mind, and while there’s no quick fix, there are gentle ways to care for yourself along the way. These actions aren’t meant to solve grief but to offer you support as you navigate it:

• Rest Without Guilt: Grief is exhausting, both mentally and physically. Give yourself permission to rest without feeling the need to be productive. Rest is an act of self-compassion, a way to respect the hard work your heart is doing.
• Seek Small Comforts: Comfort doesn’t have to come in grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s as simple as wrapping yourself in a blanket, sipping a warm drink, or breathing in fresh air. These small moments can help ground you in the present.
• Connect on Your Terms: While support from others can be healing, it’s okay to set boundaries. Reach out when you feel ready, whether it’s a phone call with a loved one, a quiet walk, or simply sharing a moment with someone who understands.
• Express, Don’t Suppress: Writing, drawing, or speaking your feelings can help lighten the weight of grief. Putting words to emotions allows you to process and validate your experiences rather than hiding them away.

Honoring Your Own Path

There is no guidebook for grief, no checklist that can fully address what you’re feeling. Grieving is a deeply personal journey, and some days will feel lighter while others may feel impossibly heavy. Healing isn’t a place we reach; it’s a process, one that requires patience, courage, and a great deal of self-compassion. Be kind to yourself in healthy ways as you walk this path. Honor your process, in whatever shape it takes, knowing that healing is not about forgetting or moving on but about learning to carry your grief with grace.

In the end, grief is not something we simply “get over”; it’s something we learn to live with. Through feeling, honoring, and caring for ourselves and each other, we find the strength to carry what we’ve lost while still moving forward. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Lean on the people who care about you, and when you feel ready, reach out. Take it one step at a time, trusting that, in time, you will find a way to heal through your grief—and maybe even find peace.

If these words and emotions resonate, consider sharing them with someone who might need this reminder.

Grief shared is sometimes grief lightened. Let’s continue to support each other through compassion, kindness, and understanding.

By: Dr. Steven Jones, CEO

Global LeaderSHYFT, inc.