The Feeling of Friendship

You can ask a dozen different people how they would define a friend and you’ll get a dozen different answers. 

Some similar, some very different.

You can Google “friend,” and you will see there are definitions that range from “one who is an acquaintance” to “one who is not hostile.”

That's not exactly Home on the Range, but that's quite range!

When I looked in the dictionary for the root of the word friend, I found this:

Old English frēon to love, frēo free. A Conversation with a Friend: 

What led me to writing this was a conversation I had over the phone with a friend of mine who lives in another state. 

I was listening to him describe a realization he had regarding his goals for the New Year for himself, his wife, and their kids. 

And as I was listening to him I found my space expanding. 

I felt admiration for him and his wife and kids. 

And yes, his realization and new plans for his family and future were really quite amazing. 

But there is something else in our conversations that is often unspoken but always present. 

There is this feeling you cannot put into words because the feeling is an experience and beyond words. 

You may have experienced this yourself after getting off the phone with a friend, or hugging them as you both leave having just shared a coffee and great conversation. 

You walk away feeling a bit exterior or outside your body. 

There’s a serenity you feel that also defies description. 

That feeling is not necessarily the definition of a friend because definitions try to qualify your experience. 

In truth, what you and I are experiencing is the very essence of what true friendship is: 

Old English frēon to love, frēo free. 

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that love and free share the same beginnings: frē 

When I got off the phone with my friend Todd, yes, I always feel an enormous frē (love) for Todd, and quite honestly incredibly frē (free). 

And you know this feeling is mutual because we both feel frē.

Because regardless of your definition of a friend, there is the experience of a friend that the Old English really nailed.

Dave Worthen

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