??Feeling fear and paralysis ??

For far too long I have not ‘brought my whole self to work’.

It is ironic that for someone who has worked in the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion & Belonging space for 22 years, I very rarely speak publicly about the fact that I am Jewish. ?

Yet my religion is a fundamental part of my identity.

So why?

Truthfully, I am scared.?

Scared to potentially expose myself to antisemitism and negativity.? Scared that people won’t want to work with me if they know.

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I have grown up knowing fear and tension but this is at an unprecedented level in my lifetime.

I grew up surrounded by first hand stories of Holocaust survivors, including that of my German grandmother who survived the war by being hidden in a convent in Rome.?

More Jews were killed on Saturday than in any single day since the end of the Holocaust.

Per Capita, the death toll so far is equivalent to 70,000 UK citizens.

I never thought I would experience the day when I would be on holiday in Israel celebrating a Jewish festival with my 2 youngest children and fear so vehemently for their basic safety.

On Saturday night we heard gun shots and blasts, jets and helicopters flying back and forth throughout the day and night. We sat in a pitch black house, fearful to turn on the lights, so as not to attract attention and to make it look as if no one was home.

My 20 year old daughter called from university sobbing. An old classmate of hers, in her same form was one of the very first people to be pronounced dead, along with the son of another family friend.

My 13 year old daughter terrified to close her eyes to go to sleep,?having mistakenly seen graphic images on social media of bloody teenage girls not much older than her being brutally dragged by their hair, forced into trucks and abducted.

My 17 year old, scared to meet up with friends in Hendon because Jewish shops were vandalised and graffiti sprayed over local?buildings.

But it’s not about me and my family.?

Our friends have bid goodbye to their children the same age as mine, who are being called up to serve.

In our schools, synagogues and other community venues here in the UK we have been told to be hyper vigilant at all times, to walk with our children to coach stops, not to gather in crowds, not to allow our children to wear blazers that identify they go to Jewish schools.?

At Jewish schools throughout ?the UK, counselling has been brought in, the security drills have stepped up a level and children as young as 4 are practising running under desks to play sleeping lions.

Attacks on the Jewish community have increased by 324% since Hamas began killing Israelis.

Every single friend or family member I have spoken to in the UK or in Israel, already knows directly or indirectly someone who has either been abducted or slaughtered.

This is our reality.?Israel is a tiny country. We are a tiny people, persecuted throughout our existence.? All our hearts are broken.

As Rishi Sunak reiterated in a speech to our community earlier this week, Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East, built on a foundation of humanity and hope.

Hamas “are not militants, are not?freedom fighters. These are terrorists.”

The conflict is inconceivably complex and hard to understand. But pure evil and terror is not hard to understand.?

Putting all different viewpoints aside, why can’t we all agree that kidnapping, torturing, raping, humiliating and cold-blooded murder is never justified?? Embracing marches where people call for genocide and ‘death to the Jews’ is never OK.

I have great sympathy for all the innocent people in Gaza who do not identify with Hamas and will tragically be used as human shields by their own people.

??Countless families brutally shattered by terror ??

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Here is some guidance from a leading psychologist in Israel. (translated)

I am sharing it because I feel it is helpful for anyone who is navigating difficult news stories and times of crisis.

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1?? Obsessively keeping up with the networks and news provides us with a sense of control – an illusion of control. Like if we're constantly up to date, we're doing something about it. In practice, not only do we not do or help anyone, but vice versa. We weaken and tire ourselves out and leave no strength for ourselves and our loved ones who need us now.

The right thing is to catch up sparingly. Two to three times a day.

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2?? Guilt – If we are not connected to the news 24/7 we may feel guilty. Similar to "survivors' guilt" for losing loved ones/dealing with the Holocaust and we are "privileged": that's why we express support by connecting to the news. Again, in practice, we only weaken ourselves.

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3?? The videos and testimonies we are currently exposed to are bigger and crueller than our souls can contain.

It is important that we remember that our soul is precious and how important it is to preserve it and not overwhelm it with chilling information.

A proposal to treat our psyche as an "external entity" that we need to protect and take care of.

Just as we prefer to avoid eating extreme junk food and the like for our body, this is the junk food of the mind and it is worth paying attention to what we put into it and in what dosage.

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4?? Try to create a routine within this lack of routine. Give ourselves small daily tasks. Not to be angry at ourselves and for having a hard time functioning optimally right now.

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5?? Take breaks and do distracting things. Play, listen to music, do some physical activity, watch a movie. This is how we will ventilate the soul.

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6?? Be together, talk to people who do us good.

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7?? Think about how you can help. Even in the smallest thing. What do you have to give to others. The feeling that you helped someone is very important and helpful.

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8?? Avoid creating PTSD – exposure to difficult content such as a video or photo can also cause PTSD. It's critical to talk about it. Share over and over again what we've seen and experienced. Just being repetitive and sharing helps to process.

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9?? Remember that all people need is to be with them and listen to them. You don't have to say, "It's going to be fine." Even if it's wrong, it's important to remember that we'll get through it.

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