Feel Good Friday Roundup
Gemma Nice ??
I help you to have intimate, healthy relationships through communication, trust and intimacy. Multi Award-winning sex and relationship coach for high-achieving women.
Join Me, Gemma every Friday for a FEEL GOOD Friday roundup, Plus its my birthday tomorrow so I am giving away a huge discount to one of my online courses.
Navigating $ex when one partner is ill.
Now Darren and I have never been through a bad or a debilitating illness, but I know some family members who have, and this has affected their intimate relationships.
So how do you navigate this?
Well $ex is actually good for releasing serotonin and dopamine, your calming hormones which in turn make you feel better about yourself.
When you climax, it brings the pain receptors higher which in turn makes you feel good, and the pain has vanished.
So let’s get to the big ‘O’ shall we.
When you do ‘O’, it releases endorphins which are thought to be an analgesic which in turn then dull the pain right back.
So, let’s get more of the big ‘O’ shall we.
But when you aren’t in the mood for it because of the pain, try massage, or brushing hair and just feeling a connection.
There will be some days where you don’t feel like doing anything but then when you have good days, try to do something with your partner to keep the connection there.
Maybe even just being naked with each other will be a great start if you can go there because you might have had surgery and not like your scars or like yourself being naked in front of your partner.
It’s all about communication.
Talk openly and honestly about how you feel.
And keep in mind each other.
This is where it’s going to get hard for the both of you so being open allows you to both be vulnerable.
If you are the care giver and are not feeling loved or the dynamics have changed, then talk to a therapist or coach about how you are feeling.
They will be able to help.
Send me a DM if you are in this situation and we’ll have a coffee chat to discuss how we can work together.
Trust in an intimate relationship.
So, do you have trust in your $exual experiences and in the bedroom? Can you say you 100% fully trust your partner. Now I did write about this last month but I’m coming at it from a slightly different angle now.
When Darren and I first got together in 2000, I made him wait 6 months for $ex. He was my first proper boyfriend, and I was only 17 so I wanted it to be special. It was actually Christmas eve morning we slept together for the first time. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but then you don’t on your first try, whatever it is, you wont know till you go through it.
It hurt, it bloody hurt. I didn’t like it at all but then once you settle in, it gets easier and better. Did I fully 100% trust him, yes because you are giving your whole body to some you love and adore. This has never changed although going through work overload stress and not seeing each other properly took its toll on our relationship in 2006 and that’s when we decided to go backpacking around the world to find some semblance of happiness. We did.
But if you are going though trust complications right now in your relationship, there are four main things I would you like you to try:
1.????? Listen to your body and its needs.
2.????? Its ok to say NO at anytime and be ok with that.
3.????? Its ok to say how we are feeling at any time and be ok with that.
4.????? Listen and feel heard from both parties.
The more we start to listen to each other and be fully present with each other, that’s when trust can start to come back. This might take months or even years but know that each day will get easier.
I have 1 space which have just opened up for the 90 minute 1:1 sessions where we dive deeper into the communication within the relationship based around the pregnancy which you are so desperately seeking right now for you to have this intimate relationship you so desire. Send me a DM and we’ll have a chat to see if we’d be a good fit to work together.
Is your partner ticklish and how to get around this during $ex?
Some people are ticklish, others are not.
Are you ticklish? Let me know in the comments below or is your partner ticklish and you cannot get near them during $ex.
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This might be an area of your body which you are self-conscious about and its hard to explain to your partner about not allowing this part of your body to be touched.
You don’t like this particular area and your brain thinks I don’t want to be touched there so it makes it ticklish.
What I would suggest is that you bring the topic up during a quiet, relaxed moment.
Mention that you did some research about helping people not be as ticklish.
Let him know you only looked into it in the first place because you love touching his body.
And you want both of you to feel as comfortable with each other as possible.
Ask your partner if it bothers him that those parts are sensitive, and if he’s interested in learning how to not be ticklish.
Let him know it's up to him.
The most important thing to convey to him is that it's his body and he gets to decide.
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Why is communication, trust and intimacy needed to have a healthy $ex life.
If you haven’t got communication within your relationship, then the trust and intimacy will be out of sync.
If you haven’t got trust in the relationship, then the communication and intimacy is out of sync and so on.
How has your $ex life been recently or when you think back over the years how has it been?
Has it gone from being great to dwindling or has there never really been that rush or attraction between the two of you.
Sometimes in a relationship we get to the comfortable stage. This is where you maybe start to feel like things are mundane and getting into a rut. To keep the flame burning you have to keep putting the effort into it.
You wouldn’t expect a car to drive without fuel or your body to move without food. So how can you expect your relationship to survive if you aren’t putting in the effort.
This is where communication comes in. Here are a few things you can try to keep the communication alive as well as build intimacy.
1.????? Playing couple games can really help bring the intimacy back. It helps to improve communication and keep the spark alive.
2.????? Wear new or nice lingerie. This will make you feel $exy and like a new person.
3.????? Going on dates brings a closeness and intimacy back which may have got lost. By spending quality time together, you can have great conversations and build the communication and listening skills. It brings you back into the now.
4.????? Making memories is also a great one and building into your everyday life. Take 5 minutes out of your day to go for a walk together or play a game. Take photos or mess around.
When you do all of these things, then each one of the trust, intimacy and communication starts to build as they go hand in hand. When you start to communicate more, you start to build trust and when you have 100% trust you can build on the intimacy which when being intimate puts both of you in a very vulnerable position. So, you can see from doing these things that you can have a healthy $ex life.
Its my birthday tomorrow and I am giving away a 75% discount on the Breath Work Academy Self paced Online Course.
Grab A Huge Discount Here Using Code 'BWA75'
Remember I am always available for a coffee chat to see how we can work together.
Until next week, happy humping and see you soon.
Lots of Love Gemma xxx