Feel Better During This Crisis. 8 Things You Can Do Now.

We’re all going through a host of emotions and struggles right now. According to a piece in Harvard Business Review last week, the anxiety we’re all feeling is actually a form of grief for all we’ve lost, for our normal lives, and we need to work through the grieving process to get back on track. Sometimes in these situations we don’t know what we’re supposed to feel or even what we’re allowed to feel. Right off the bat let me just go ahead and give you permission to feel what you feel. You’re allowed to be disappointed, incredulous, even angry. There’s no right emotional response to this. You’re good, however you’re feeling. If you’re ready to move on from those feelings and begin to put your world back together, here are some things that might help get your life back in gear.

1.    Do something! One of the biggest challenges you’re likely facing is a sort of paralysis brought on by uncertainty or a sense of futility. You’re not the only one and it’s actually a pretty normal feeling. The problem is that the longer you feel that way, the longer you hesitate to get started on something, the more anxious and paralyzed you’ll feel. The best way to break out of that trap is to do something, anything really, to get moving in a positive direction. Whether it’s completing a project at work or going for a run on the treadmill, it’s important to be active. Start with the easiest thing on your list that you can complete quickly. That sense of forward progress will help you propel yourself to the next thing. For me it was cutting my grass. Once I knocked that out, I became a project completing machine. 

2.    Stick to your routine! Events like this can be kind of like a snow day or spring break when you were in school. Without the guardrails of your regular obligations and calendar you can begin to slip into an unscheduled and less productive Limbo of uncertainty. With so much already up in the air, your personal rhythm and schedule can be the rock you cling to in order to weather this storm. If you start your workday at 9, then start at 9 and even more importantly, if you normally stop at 6, then stop at the normal time. There’s an opportunity in this both personally and professionally, but don’t bury yourself in work as a way of hiding from it. That’s unfair to you and the people who need you now. 

3.    Get Fit! Maybe you already work out, maybe you struggle to find the time, maybe it isn’t even a consideration for you. Now is the time to maintain your program, ramp it up, or give it a try. There are lots of ways that depression slips into your mind but there are a lot of ways to bar the door too. Exercise is a great one. A big shock like this outbreak can be a catalyst for a wave of depression and negativity across a community. You not only have the crisis and how it impacts you, but all the negative reactions, justified and unjustified, in the world around you. In this situation it’s hard to overestimate the value of putting on a high energy playlist and getting a good sweat. A good workout occupies your body and clears your mind. Completing that workout makes you feel productive and can help you feel like you’re taking charge. If you push yourself, you’ll get the rush of endorphins that comes with that exertion - nature’s anti-depressant. If you start now and keep it up through the next several weeks, you may see changes in your physical appearance that you like and you may get a real sense of accomplishment and some healthy new habits. Speaking of which, it’s a great time to work on healthy cooking and weening off fast food. 

4.    Get off all media for a day! We need to stay up on current events, but the world is not going to end on a Saturday or Sunday while you’re not looking. Part of the anxiety we share comes from being glued to all sorts of media. The news is not good, social media is extra crazy, and the networks and streaming services are pushing the trashiest, most unenlightened forms of escapism they have in their arsenals, now more than ever. Take a day off from it and you’ll be surprised how much more relaxed you are. Sunday was a beautiful day. I took a ride with my son and we chatted about girls, cars, how to balance a checkbook – just normal stuff. I worked on my yard. My wife and I did some research for a non-profit we think we may want to start. Before I knew it, I’d gone from morning to after dinner without turning on the TV, opening my laptop, or checking the notifications on my phone. The world was still there, but I was in a much better frame of mind to handle it. Try it. Turn your back on the Kardashians and Trump memes and death tolls for a day. Dig deep into the parts of your life that really matter for a few hours and it will change your perspective. 

5.    Start something new! What have you been putting off? What have you been too busy to do? Now might be a good time to do it. I have a couple of big projects I’ve really been wanting to get to but we’re so busy they keep getting pushed back in favor of the work we have to get done every day. With fewer meetings to attend, networking events cancelled, and some clients unavailable at the moment, we have a little more time. Why not use that time to start that big, game-changing project or take care of a few smaller to-dos that’ll make your post-outbreak life and business better? And don’t forget non-work projects. I’ve been meaning to write a book on coaching youth baseball, but I coach almost 10 months out of the year and never seem to have time. The season is suspended and I have 20 “found” hours a week and no excuses now. Develop that new protocol, paint the guest room, write the great American novel. It feels weird to think of this as an opportunity, especially when people are dying, but to get through this you have to believe there is a reason to keep going. You have to believe that you will be there on the other side of this. Start building your better future now and it will help you handle the present.

6.    Finish or bring back something old! For several years my wife and I had a pretty boss vegetable garden. For a lot of reasons including being busy and a couple of broken bones, we haven’t planted anything the last two seasons and we’ve missed it. My son is a teenager now and something else I’ve missed in recent years, as he’s been getting out on his own more, is playing chess with him. When we get busy and start cutting these small things from our lives it is a source of low-key stress. There’s both the immediate loss and that nagging, sort of guilty, feeling that we’d like to get back to it. Use this time to re-connect with those lost rituals that gave you a real-world sense of who you are as a person and as part of a family or community. The sprouts are sprouting and family game night is back on. Your rituals, hobbies, and connections that you thought were in the past can really help. 

7.    Remember: This is NOT the “new normal”! I keep hearing this and to be honest it really ticks me off for two reasons. First it simply isn’t true and second it frightens people unnecessarily. After 9/11 this “new normal” narrative got traction as well. As if we expected thousands of Americans to die in terrorist attacks regularly, as if the economy would never recover, but that didn’t happen. COVID-19 is not going to be around forever either. We will develop treatment regimes and vaccinations over the next months and we’ll never be without them again. Our government should never again be so unprepared and inept and if they are, we have the remedy; we have the vote. Will there be changes in public health policy, disaster management procedures, and our own personal preparedness and hygiene, just like we made changes in airport security two decades ago? Of course. The “new normal” isn’t going to be ongoing mass infection, death, and a crippled economy. These things are the aberration, the short-term challenge. The “new normal” will be a more prepared, healthier, and more hygienic society. In other words, once we rise to and overcome this challenge, which we should do relatively quickly compared to some past challenges, we’ll be living in a “better normal”. It’s tough now, tragic even, but the response will be a better future. Don’t let anyone tell you that this moment is normal or permanent. That’s nonsense. 

8.    Do a Gratitude Inventory! It’s dangerously easy to dwell on what’s bad right now. From the huge things like the mounting death toll to the annoyances like our stupid, selfish neighbors hoarding toilet paper and ground beef for no good reason. Add to that a steady stream of bad news and gloomy and angry social media posts and it can be tough to see the bright side. Take some time to sit quietly, turn off all that noise, and think about the things that make your life better now as well as the reasons you keep going. Those are the things and people you’re grateful for and those are your reasons to be positive about the future and to keep doing your part to get us there. When you do this, you might be surprised how long your list really is. To quote the Beastie Boys: “When you got so much to say, that’s called gratitude. And that’s right!”

Hopefully this helps. This is list is in no particular order so pick the one that works best for you to get started reclaiming your life and positive mindset. #8 could be a part of every step and I hope you’ll go back to repeatedly. #7 is essential at all times during this crisis. Do what you can do consistently, and eventually you’ll look back and be surprised at what you were capable of. Better days are coming.