Feedback Works Like Interest
It is important to save for your future today as interest compounds over time and grows your nest egg. Also important is to ask for feedback today as it too compounds by helping you learn and grow in small ways during your career. Just like interest I have earned over the years, I have benefited from the gems of feedback I have received. And yet, feedback is often one of those tasks that tend to sit in my "I'll get to later pile". This article is my nudge to move asking for, receiving, and giving feedback out of the later pile and into the now pile.
You're telling yourself I want to get better at something, so I'm going to ask for feedback on how I can get better. - Karen Swyszcz From her blog on Feedback
Focusing on improving a specific skill has helped me gain the courage to ask for feedback. I have found that asking for just-in-time feedback also has the added benefit of showing that I am open to receiving feedback. In my hunt for those feedback gems, being specific in my request is the key to finding feedback treasure. For example, I want to master public speaking so I need to seek out feedback. But asking: "How did I do?" will often get a generic "Great" which does not provide me with an actionable improvement (even if it does make me smile). So instead, I ask for feedback on a specific area of my presentation: "How was my use of silence instead of filler words?" This more specific question will often get a deeper feedback conversation started. Want more tips on asking for feedback check out this roadmap from BetterUp on How to Ask for Feedback.
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Honesty is a very expensive gift; just don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett
Feedback is a gift. Feedback is a gift. Say it with me: Feedback is a gift! I'll admit sometimes I wonder where I can return the gift. However, learning how to receive feedback is a valuable skill that I am continuing to hone. A few of my tips are: 1) accept that it is ok to feel triggered and work to move past that feeling (don't forget to breathe); 2) remember to listen and that listening does not equal agreeing; 3) look for a glimmer of truth no matter how unfair or unjustified the feedback may be; 4) take a break and come back with a refreshed perspective. Wonder why receiving feedback is hard: listen to Sheila Heen discuss this and more in her xTED talk on feedback.
Radical candor really means caring personally at the same time that you challenge directly. - Kim Scott
Providing feedback is a skill that is frequently taught in new manager classes and many leadership sessions. One of the best books I have read on giving feedback is Radical Candor by Kim Scott. Her frame of striving for caring and being specific in feedback has helped me explain why providing nice but not specific feedback is "ruinously empathic". So, the next time you give feedback do it in a caring way and share an actionable shift the person can make. Remember feedback is a treasure to give and receive.
Great article Sharon. You discussion on this topic at last week's "the Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback" at Intel was insightful. I appreciated the specific examples and suggestions - 4 box breathing, stepping away and digesting it. It's helpful to know that others are also sometimes challenged to be on the receiving end. It was a great discussion. Thank you for taking the time to share with all of us in our session. janine
Partner and National Transfer Pricing Leader at Moss Adams LLP & Inclusion and Diversity Consulting Leader| Ex- Apple | Ex-Oracle
2 年Yes honesty is infact expensive - very expensive. Everyone should introspect how honest they are when dealing with people on a day to day basis-and people will be surprised by what they find. At work being honest is a virtue which leads to trust which then leads to respect and ultimately the legacy you will leave behind ! Have seen many people in the last 25 yrs of my career where the first thing people do is being dishonest- whether is telling a client what they need, or an employee on their career paths- why do they do? just to make sure they always have the power ,
Tax Partner at Deloitte
2 年Love this comment..... which is all so true....... Honesty is a very expensive gift; just don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett? You have to truly care about someone to be honest with them.
Urban planning, development and investment Integrating social, environmental and economic justice
2 年Thanks, Sharon. Very helpful.
U r right. If we want good quality "interest" we have to sow good quality questions.