Feedback is unhelpful, if...
Receiving feedback is a story of a cat sitting in the junction, of two different and conflicting human desires; we are always open to learn and grow (or at least that's what we claim), but we also want to be accepted and respected just as we are!
Getting feedback is crucial everywhere starting from the school, from your bosses, from family, investors, colleagues, customers... March is believed to be month of feedback we all have a truckload of feedback sitting in the mailbox.The feedback will turnout unhelpful if...
Your defenses getting triggered:
Let's accept the fact we all love positive feedback, we like to read it and read it again, it secretes some good quality happy hormones that electrify you for the whole day , the problem is only when the feedback is not what you like to hear, the 'negative' feedback, the heart pounds, our stomach clenches, our thoughts race, remember the lousy reaction you had when you last received a bad feedback from your boss?
Is that really what you think of me?
At this point, we can't think, we can't learn, so we defend, we believe the giver is jealous of us. The key player in the feedback cycle is the receiver, the receiver's mindset towards feedback, to approach it with patience, write them in a piece of paper, every single word and try to understand what triggered the giver to say these words,
Consume it entirely, even if the feedback was so bad, analyse it to understand the full meaning and go back and ask the giver/boss on 'Why' and understand it better, this will make a massive change in your next improvement plan.
The feedback label is general:
Imagine you go to a grocery store and see a box says 'sweet' and a box says 'sour', this has no information when you say sweet, is this a sweetener or sugar or a chocolate? The label has no information about the ingredients or the date, would you buy that?
Do the same with feedback, if the feedback is "You're pushy." ask about instances, the giver especially if that's your boss she/he has the whole responsibility to explain you every single word, I understand we live in a world of perception and brand but buying a non-actionable feedback can only do bad more than good, ask the giver to be specific, in a nice way. (Please don't be pushy here, that will close the feedback loop).
The shift from "that's wrong" to "tell me more."
The feedback is subjective:
I always thought of having an objective template for feedback in the companies, each one is different and calls it differently, one can appreciate you're 'quirky' when the other can call you 'annoying', completely ignoring this feedback is like switching off the emergency alarm, its better to tone yourself a bit down on these areas especially when the feedback is from your boss, this could also come from your peers to your manager, this will help you culturally fit in to the ecosystem you work.
You have a fixed mindset:
I know I pretty much talk about a growth mindset and a fixed mindset in every article I write, the book Mindset is a game changer in my life, no matter how valuable is the feedback, how much effort someone had put in observing you the whole feedback goes a criminal waste of time if you have a fixed mindset.
You're jealous of me
You're biased and blurting things without data
These are few of the inner voices you'd listen when you have a fixed mindset, come out of it and understand your problem, always have a constructive conversation with peers and bosses which can help you move the needle.
As a conclusion, the feedback is not an yearly event where you talk about it for a day or two and forget it, its an everyday occurrence, talk about the feedback you received and the action plan in every 1:1 you have. Whether you want it or not, people keep giving you feedback in various channels, few are said, and more to be observed, the only one who can help you in your career is YOU and if you don't take take ownership of your feedback, it goes unhelpful...
I love your feedback and if you like the article do share it with your connections so I can get more feedback!
Padmini Janaki
Product Manager
5 年Great Timing! Great Article! This open mindset you are talking about plays a key role in all aspects of life which includes? the appraisal period....but i feel this trait comes to a person over maturity...be it at work or discussing a sensitive topic with friends, handling issues within the? family any where for the matter....
Co-Founder, Product Owner at Paperflite - We are hiring!
5 年Good one Padmini Janaki. Keep your eyes, ears and.. Mind open.
SAP IS-Public sector consultant at Steria india limited
5 年In my opinion, feedback more or less depends on the expertise of the giver and the perception of the receiver. To give an anecdote how would a professional cricketer consider the feed back of cricket enthusiastic in comparison to professional cricketer. In the end every thing boils down to how the person who is giving the feed back is perceived than the feed back itself.
Perpetual Learner / Like to challenge status quo
5 年It helps when receiver has a fixed Mindset that appreciation doesn't happen immediately unlike critical feedback. Appreciation happens when there is CONSISTENCY which means it will take time for people to pass compliment on the good work but will get judged quickly on wrong things.?
Lead Full Stack Engineer/Architect- Intelliswift (Sephora)
5 年This is absolutely required now ... Not many are open for feedbacks. One must have listening ears and interpreting mind. I personally look for negative feedbacks first rather than the positive which I feel is improving me better than yesterday. Of course we must know to differentiate the misguiding or wrong negative feedbacks too. It's always an art to master people. Nice article Padmini ??