The feedback trap - dos and don't of asking for feedback

The feedback trap - dos and don't of asking for feedback


Have you heard the new Workplace Confidence Podcast?


Hi there!

Feedback can be a brilliant work tool. When done right it promotes personal growth, builds confidence and strengthens relationships.

But before you jump in with a casual "How did I do?", there's a lot worth considering.

In my latest podcast episode, I share all my top tips on how to ask for feedback. Plus, a story about the worst piece of feedback I ever got during my time in TV – it still makes me wince! Have a listen and feel free to share it with your colleagues.

Listen and share my podcast (7-mins) - How to ask for feedback

Did you catch my nightmare story? It was painful, unfair, and completely unhelpful!

How to ask for feedback (the right way!)

Feedback is a big topic, so today we’re keeping it simple and discussing how to ask for it the right way.

1. Be clear on what you want

Before you ask, know exactly what you're after. Do you need reassurance, practical tips, or a fresh perspective? Your goal determines how you frame your questions, which means more useful answers.

Maybe you want specific advice on presentation skills or feedback on a project. The more specific you can be, the better.

A vague "How did I do?" might get you a polite "Good job!" – nice to hear, but not much help. Instead, ask targeted questions:

  • How could I have been clearer in that meeting?
  • Any ideas on how I could manage the project timeline better?
  • What would you suggest for improving my approach next time?

Precision makes feedback actionable.

2. Pick the right people

Who you ask matters as much as what you ask. Sure, you could go straight to your boss, but they might not always give you what you need. Consider asking a mix of people:

  • Maybe a close colleague who knows your work style
  • A mentor who gets your goals
  • Or even someone who can offer an outsider's perspective.

It’ll help you get a well-rounded, balanced view.

3. Timing is everything

Don’t corner people for instant feedback. Give them some notice so they can provide thoughtful input, not just a rushed opinion. If I’d given my editor a bit of time, maybe I wouldn't have ended up with that awful piece of feedback.

  • Let them know what you’d like feedback on
  • Ask for honest, constructive insights
  • Give them a chance to reflect.

You'll see the quality of their input improve massively.

What if the feedback misses the mark?

Not all feedback hits home. Sometimes it's poorly delivered or just plain hurtful. Remember, feedback is simply information – not the ultimate truth about you. Take what’s helpful, thank them and move on. Don’t let it knock your confidence.

Best wishes,

Penny


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Colette Cooper

Group Marketing Director at KGK Genix

2 周

I really enjoy this podcast - great work!

回复
John Burns FCMA

Career Coach, Keynote Speaker on Change, Presenter|Executive Producer - The GYFT Show Ireland.

3 周

Interesting article Penny. I like the idea of being clear on what you want feedback on. Otherwise people risk undermining their confidence or credibility.

Penny Haslam FPSA

World-class communication and workplace confidence. Top-rated, award-winning speaker, facilitator, coach, author. Used to present TV business news, but is alright now.

3 周

Sounds like you had a fab mentor! And hats off to you for seeking out the feedback, it is quite the challenge!

Mary Duggan

Helping busy women entrepreneurs to get more done with less stress

3 周

That was really helpful, Penny! It's reminded me of a time that a valued mentor suggested that I ask a range of colleagues for feedback on specific aspects of my performance, and she helped me to identify who would be most likely to be clear, honest and supportive. Although it was a very challenging thing for me to do, it was hugely helpful and turned out to be a very positive experience.

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