The Feedback Receiver’s Mindset

That a particular feedback receiving mindset is even necessary may be news to some. Embracing it can offer a mega dose of empowerment. No matter the stage of your career, it can put you in the driver's seat of your growth.

In feedback training I’ve delivered, I’ve watched in real-time as early-in-career employees shifted their perspective — from wanting to learn how to receive feedback if it comes their way to being equipped and hungry to go get it.

This shift is a big deal.

It moves the receiver into a place of power, from passive recipient to proactive seeker.

Of course, it’s still important to know how to receive feedback at the moment it’s coming to you — which we cover in the video at the end of this post — but you’ll have far more opportunities to flex that muscle if you become the kind of feedback seeker experts in nearly every domain recognize as vital for improvement.

Here's a small sampling that includes wisdom from:

1. Billie Jean King: Tennis legend and social justice activist, founder of Billie Jean King Enterprises , on TIME 's "100 Most Important Americans of the 20th Century" list
2. Angela Duckworth : MacArthur Foundation “genius” grant recipient and 美国宾夕法尼亚大学 professor
3. Steven D. Levitt: Economist, Freakonomics co-founder, and professor at 美国芝加哥大学 - 布斯商学院
4. Tim Grover : Renowned trainer of some of the world's greatest athletes, including Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant

A feedback receiver’s mindset is about being a constant feedback seeker (that is why I'm always highlighting this classic 1983 paper from Professor Sue Ashford of the 美国密歇根大学 - 罗斯商学院 .

It's also about going to get what you need (and putting yourself in positions to get what you don’t yet know you need).

I’m reminded of this “go get it” attitude each day when I play fetch with my mini husky. When I throw the ball, her pursuit of going to get it is pure. Nothing else matters. Her entire focus is on going to get that ball.

Put another way, check out how the best National Football League (NFL) wide receivers track down a ball in the air — including when defenders are trying to get it. They don’t just wait for it to arrive in their hands elegantly. They position themselves so that they go get it – otherwise someone else will.

In the video below about receiving feedback, I highlight the 4As of Receiving Feedback. Here they are as an image and text.

The 4As of Receiving Feedback

1. Aspire: a reminder to keep aspiring by centering your development through curiosity and a growth mindset.
2. Active: pairing your receiver’s mindset work with Action and practicing Active listening when you receive feedback. If feedback you received is unclear, ask questions.
3. Ask: a reminder to be a constant feedback seeker, to go get what you need. Your “asking” need not be only by literally asking others. You can ask yourself what you need and “go get it” by studying others. As a former mixed martial arts fighter from a small town, I likely spent as much time studying videos of Brazilian jiu-jitsu techniques as I did practicing them on the mat. That study was a form of feedback.
4. Accept: a reminder to eventually accept what you received so you can move on. To accept doesn’t necessarily mean to adopt the feedback; it just means you’ve reached what seems like a final level of clarity, and you are now ready to process the feedback.

As Tim Grover said at 16:26 on Scott Barry Kaufman 's The Psychology Podcast :

“The most successful are the most coachable.”

That is, as we covered in the free feedback course and in Tim’s experience, they are the most open to the feedback they receive and they are the hungriest to go get the best feedback they can.

So ask yourself these questions in order:

1. What is the #1 thing you want to improve right now?
2. What’s your mindset for getting the feedback you need to improve?