Feedback is a Gift...With a Bow

Has someone given you candid, constructive feedback that was so compelling you changed? Unfortunately, that’s a rare event. Why? Often people are afraid to give feedback because they believe they will hurt the feelings of the person who receives it. But if that person keeps making the same error or behaves in a way that needs to be corrected, and no one tells them, doesn’t the situation just get worse? Perhaps over time, conflict erupts too.

It’s a missed opportunity. Great leaders know how important it is to give feedback with the intent to help because they care about an employee’s success.?High performing teams create environments that are rich with feedback that comes from their customers, their teammates, and their leaders. Feedback can motivate too because most employees want to be challenged and want to grow. Problems get solved quicker, team issues are resolved before they fester into conflict, and new ideas emerge as feedback becomes part of the everyday conversation.?Feedback can be the fuel that drives career opportunities and professional growth. With feedback, employees know how to exceed expectations and achieve stellar results.

What holds leaders back from providing such enriching information??Most commonly, many decide it’s better to avoid conflict. But that’s the easy way out, and over time could lead to mediocre performance, even disengaged employees.

There are two types of feedback: constructive feedback, which motivates and facilitates change in future behaviors, and destructive feedback, which damages relationships, ultimately destroys trust. Here’s a brief synopsis of these types of feedback look like:

Constructive Feedback:

• It’s timely.
• It’s detailed.
• It’s truthful.
• It can be positive, or it can be an opportunity for improvement.
• It should NOT always be negative feedback.
• If there are behavioral issues, examples are provided.
• The leader listens to the employee’s side of the story.
• If possible, the leader doesn’t tell the employee what to do, instead they ask questions to coach to a desired result.
• If there’s an issue to overcome, the goal is for the employee to understand, own the issue, take action to change.
• After providing feedback, the leader checks in with the employee a few days later to see how the employee is doing.

Destructive Feedback:

• No details, there are broad, sweeping comments made such as “You have a negative attitude.”
• Comments degrade to finger pointing and blaming.
• The person providing the feedback is not truthful, exaggerating an issue to make a point.
• It’s never positive.
• Body language and voice tone are antagonizing, for example, yelling or putting the employee down.
• Name calling may erupt.
• Little to no listening.
• Threats are stated.
• The leader makes sure the employee knows they are wrong.
• Tells the employee exactly what to do, or else…
• The leader uses their position to prevent open conversation.
• Avoiding the employee after the session.

If you have been the recipient of destructive feedback, you end up coping with a bad situation. You can lose hope, actively disengage, may look for another job, or share your plight with coworkers. Trust is broken. Others may see the negative aura of poor leadership through destructive feedback too, including those valuable, high performing employees, and they may disengage, not try as hard. Performance in the team, overall, suffers, the culture can become toxic, and people leave, making it harder to meet customer expectations.?

Often some leaders take the option to provide no feedback at all. All that does is perpetuate mediocre performance. With no standards, accountability or coaching, everyone may have their own opinion of what good work looks like. Or employees just do enough work to get by.?Mediocre to poor performance pervade everyday work since no one has a clear picture of great work, nor do they understand how to prevent errors.

At first blush, feedback can feel uncomfortable. Someone may tell you something you are not aware of, or you may not agree with. But the intent of feedback from those who offer it sincerely is to help. It’s easy not to speak up if something feels off. But feedback from someone who cares about you is indeed a gift. Take it, use it, and thank them for sharing.?Feedback will make your life richer.

A key attribute of leadership and teamwork is to give the gift of feedback with positive intentions. There are no hidden agendas, only a desire to succeed together. Candid, constructive feedback strengthens trust, builds purpose, and fuels high performance. Tap into this underutilized resource and you’ll be amazed by the results.