Feedback is a gift, you use some, leave some

"I don't know why this idea is getting so much attention, it's no brainer and simple."- person A

"Ok, then why didn't we try it before? And what's stopping us to try it now?"- me

... ...

In that moment of silence, I remembered Deborah Liu's experience. Just a few weeks back she shared a similar experience in her 'Believing in possibilities' section of the article, how people hesitated to try out a simple new idea to solve a user problem.

Once the review meeting was over I wondered about the feedback. I found myself scanning through it for what's useful and actionable vs not. First, I definitely needed do a better job bringing more people along on the idea. Second, people with different experiences look at a problem differently. Third, people may hesitate to try a new idea as there are too many unknowns and it may not succeed.

Upon reflection, first one was about accepting what I need to do more & better. Second one was about feeling what others may feel. Third one was about recognizing I am ok with uncertainty and can move past some parts of the feedback.

That moment connected me to a feeling from last Christmas. Last Christmas, I got 3 gifts. One I loved and could use more, one I didn't have but had the need for, and another one I didn't know what to do with it. The odd one, after a while of not finding a fit or need, was left unused. I donated it away thinking it will find a better home.

Connecting these thoughts, I again realized that "Feedback is a gift, you use some & leave some". Feedback is indeed a gift. It is well researched and well taught in the workplace. At the leadership level especially, we are taught how to deliver effective yet empathetic feedback and learn to receive it as they are great learning moments. And no doubt that's true! I have also learned from my experiences over time, it is equally important to take a pause, screen through the feedback, and decide what to keep- to learn & grow, and what not to keep and move on.

If you are finding this interesting, and asking yourself, "but, how do I screen?" Well, it is not exactly like screening your Christmas gifts. Choosing by the gift wrap, ie how the feedback was given to you, may not be the best way to screen! I apply a few questions to screen, for example, what can I learn that's aligned to my career goals, is the feedback tied to my values, is the feedback coming from a knowledgeable source? As you start thinking about this, I will highly encourage you to also read Adam Grant's framework on when to take feedback seriously. Have fun thinking how you can apply them!