Feedback - The Fuel of High-Performance Champions.

Everybody loves Feedback . . . as long as it’s positive, and fits their picture of themselves. The problem is - we can't grow without it!

Many of us dislike negative “feedback” so much that we’ve reframed the name — it’s not negative, it’s “constructive”. Constructive or not – We all struggle to hear other people’s truth.

Either way – is a vital way for leadership to build mindfulness, awareness, greater consciousness and choice. It’s truly a gift, if you can get past your automatic defensive reactions.

We all need honest feedback, with “Love” to give us a multi-viewpoint perspective on how we are showing up, and the impacts we are having on those around us. That is unless you are a Dictator and don’t actually care about creating a positive, powerful High-Performance, happier, healthier, workplace.

We need to know when our impacts deviate from our intentions.  The best way to discover that Doing-Impact gap is through honest, personal, multi-viewpoint, feedback. The problem is … We don’t like it!

We automatically react negatively, and so it doesn’t feel so good to be told you might have “Sinned or “missed the mark”. Many people take feedback WAY too personally, due to self-esteem/self-worth issues.

The power of asking for feedback is it helps you to uncover possible blind spots and opportunities to be more effective. That’s why it can be so jolting because we usually think we’re actually doing a good job.

Truth: It’s hard for us to agree with the feedback, when we typically don’t believe things we can’t see ourselves. 

The higher you go the less TRUTH you get as a leader. 

If it doesn’t fit with our identity and the inner story that we run, then we believe "It can’t be true". So, it’s typical for leaders to become defensive when we get critical feedback about our leadership style, impacts and consequences.

If you are brave enough and serious about being a BETTER, and More CONSCIOUS, leader…You don't need more admiration, so ask the people you work with regularly, to give you some NEGATIVE or constructive feedback.

Ask them to honestly and truly expose some of your blind spots... then HOLD ON TIGHT, and breath through your emotions. Become highly aware of your body and mind…notice all of your reactions as they happen to you.

Watch out for your inner EGO protector, who will reframe and defend your GAP. Be careful that you don’t start to reduce the value of their feedback. Listen for the inner excuses that will jump up to defend you.

As an executive coach who helps successful people become even better leaders and create high-performance teams, I reflect experience, observations and give feedback that’s often difficult to take in. 

From my years of experience, here are some of the reactions that will take you off course from DENYING.., and truly embracing your fullest LIMITLESS Leadership potential and impacts.

• We Play Victim: “OK, that’s true, but it’s not my fault.”
• Our Pride jumps up: “OK, that’s true, but it’s a good thing.”
• We Minimize: “It’s really not such a big deal.”
• We Deny: “I don’t do that!”
• We Avoid: “I don’t really need this…!”
• We Blame: “The real problem is the people around me.”
• We Counter: “There are lots of examples of me acting differently.”
• We Attack: “I may have done this thing, but YOU ALSO do this other bad thing”
• We Negate: “You don’t really know anything about X.”
• We Deflect: “That’s not the actual issue.”
• We Invalidate: “Nobody else thinks like you.”
• We Joke: “I never knew I was being such a nana.”
• We Exaggerate: “This is really disastrous. I’m such a bad person.”
• We Flee: “I can’t take this! I don’t need this! I’m Out of here.
• We Crash: “Oh my gosh…I’m useless! I’m an imposter!

So the next time you are ready to GROW and become a better leader… listen for your inner critic and EGO defender…it will block you from vital leadership growth and development of greater consciousness and compassion.

Beware once our ego is out, and we feel the emotional charge take us over... It can be hard to recover balance quickly… without going into fully into DENIAL…..that’s not going swimming in Egypt!

Close your feedback session with a conscious and authentic “Thank you for your open and honest perspectives. I really appreciate you having the courage to be totally honest, and sharing your observations with me.”  

Be a conscious leader. EMBRACE the “GIFT”… that very few leaders are brave enough to ask for.

P.S. FEEDBACK RULES: During the feedback, if you are receiving, YOU MAY NOT TALK... other than... “please tell me more”… and “thank you (With a genuine smile.)”

It's way better to get the feedback directly than it flooding your workplace “grapevine” and contaminating your culture, context, climate, collaboration, communication, and people commitment.

Cowards AVOID feedback and think/believe they are perfect. Conscious leaders know that we all have blind spots and unconscious actions that reduce our effectiveness and impacts and contaminate the workplace or team culture. ALERT: Beware of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

When you stop running away from external feedback, your internal reflection becomes more compassionate, caring, and valuable, for self-management, and controls self-delusion.

Become a truly Conscious leader – P.S. If forgiveness is low in your personal strengths scale, and you are inclined to hold grudges (Hmmm!)...

You may need some executive coaching to fully prepare you for the honest feedback and insights… on how you can show-up, behave, and impact, others more effectively.

Either way… stop being like the emperor with no clothes… Be Brave…Get the truth from your team.  ITs a pre-requisite for optimal growth.

Homework: – Go to someone you trust. Ask them to give you some “light” feedback as a first start... if you can cope with the emotional reactions…ask them to up the depth, and intensity. Keep going until just BEFORE you get to your emotional tipping point.

Keep practicing this with others in your team. With time you will become a feedback NINJA! And you will become an even better, and more amazing, Conscious LEADER that’s 8.4 times more valuable to your team and organisation.

Namaste’ - Tony Dovale – CEO Life Masters / REVOLUTIONARY WORKPLACE Global Facilitator.  

P.S. If you care about your people – SHOW THEM with validation, appreciation, recognition and positive feedback and feedforward…today.

For a Free REVOLUTIONARY WORKPLACE High Performance Teams assessment and feedback - chat to Tony Dovale CEO of https://www.lifemasters.co.za or call 083-447-6300.