Feedback Fixation: Why you're sometimes better off without it

Feedback: advice, criticism, or information about the quality or usefulness of an individual’s work

The desire for feedback is woven into every product and service we use.? After every customer service call, app download, and product purchase we make, there is typically a survey or rating system of some kind. Performance Evaluations are a mechanism employers use to provide their employees with feedback about their job performance.? Even job seekers are asked about their candidate experience following the application and selection process.? All the surveys, questionnaires, and evaluations have one goal in mind, continuous improvement.?

As a society, we have learned that there is often a direct correlation between feedback and improvement, which we assume will move us closer to our intended outcome.? For the job seeker, that intended outcome is an offer, promotion, or at least being invited to the next step in the selection process.? If I can get someone to give me feedback, I will find and fix any problems with my resume or interview presence, which will ultimately make me the preferred candidate in the next recruitment.? Unfortunately, there are some instances where receiving feedback fails to result in improvement. ?Here are two of those instances.?

1. The hiring decision was not a result of your deficiency as a candidate

It shocks me that time and time again, as I hear candidates reflect on possible reasons for not being selected for a position, it rarely dawns on them to consider the factors that are outside of their control.? The candidate selection process at its core is a competition. Outside of internal promotion recruitments, every applicant is competing against an invisible opponent, often equally or more qualified.? In many instances, there is only one vacancy and multiple qualified applicants.? Inevitably and unavoidably, a qualified applicant will be rejected, not because they don’t meet the list of required skills and credentials in the posting, but because one candidate could be selected.? In this instance, trying to force feedback out of the employer is unlikely to bring the type of closure and consolation the rejected job seeker is hoping for, but in some cases leads to further frustration with the employer for not being able to provide a path to victory in the next recruitment.

2. The job seeker is hoping for an opportunity to change the decision

As a recruiter for many years, attempting to provide rejected candidates with feedback frequently resulted in the opposite of the intended purpose of helping the candidate develop, improve, and experience a better outcome in their next selection process. Instead, the candidate saw the conversation as an opportunity to debate the information they were receiving and to restate their interview responses.? On those occasions, the job seeker’s feedback request had little to do with understanding how they could improve in future recruitments, and more to do with trying to pressure the decision maker into changing their mind. Usually, by the time a candidate is notified that they were not selected, a different candidate has already been offered the position and confirmed their acceptance.? In this situation, if the goal of the applicant is to influence a different outcome, there is little value in receiving feedback and can cause the job seeker to become more disappointed than if they had just received the standard notification.?

Fixation: an inability to adopt any different or new perspective on a problem.?

?Most people have experienced times when feedback was desired or requested but not provided.? Many of us have simply moved on and sought the next opportunity, the next relationship, or the next achievement.? Unfortunately, there are a few who find it difficult to find closure without additional conversation, which can develop into unhealthy fixation.? In those cases, I encourage the jobseeker to explore their inability to move forward and consider what they would do if they had received the feedback they seek.?

For some, the discovery will be that what they want is not feedback about their application or interview, but validation and reassurance concerning their value.? Competing for work has become an increasingly emotional process and finding that one has not been selected can be as painful as a breakup.? The goal is to see the process as a race and not a relationship.? Everyone in the race is trained and qualified to run beside you. There is only one gold medal, and everyone will not finish first.? Strive to reach the finish line as fast as you can and continue to train and prepare between races.? Continue to apply to other positions and do not develop an emotional attachment to any one job, even if it seems like the perfect role.? Understand that your self-worth will never be determined by the outcome of a recruitment process. Be willing to move on whether or not you receive an opportunity for feedback and know that the next opportunity could be the one you’ve been waiting for.

What do you think?

Have you ever found yourself fixating over feedback?? What helped you to move forward? I welcome and respond to comments.? ?