FEEDBACK decoded

“Feedback is a gift!” Loved this quote of Liane Davey in her talk yesterday on?“The Art of Giving & Getting Better Feedback” in the Summit hosted by coaching.com

As an Anchor of musical shows,? I thought it was perfectly okay to carry papers onto the stage. Would always walk onto stage with my script… till one feedback changed it all!

A few years ago, after a Superhit musical night, amongst the many mails/messages of appreciation for the whole team, there was one which simply said, “ A feedback for Rashmi. Why does she carry her script to the stage when she does not read from it?” Nobody had told me this nor did I realise!

I was a little taken aback. The primary questions were:

-How do I do my program without my script??

-How do I remember the stories and details for 30+ songs?

It was challenging. I then found my answers.?

-Get familiar with your opening.?

-Use the time between each song to get familiar with the story.

-Writing out the script anyway brings out the familiarity, so it about practising a little more.

The result was magic. I surprised myself ever since and have never carried the script onto the stage.This feedback from someone I do not know ,helped me discover more of myself!

While listening to Liane, I loved it when she clarified that feedback is a gift and the candour is important. She explained how “that gift” is all about? the person being candid with you about their private thoughts. It is a gift because Self Awareness is rare!

There are times when the feedback is not justified in the beginning , but when you listen carefully, you can see the point. Many a time it could be a perception and not exactly as is. What has helped me however has been taking the essence of feedback, every time I got one. Therefore decided to delve deeper.

When I tried decoding FEEDBACK these qualities were what it comprised of:

Feelings: When you hear a feedback , you first react & then respond. Maybe you go on the defence at first. It is natural. Later however you start seeing the depth. When you respond is when you go to the core & look at possibilities.

"Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.”-Anonymous

Evolution: Once you have accepted it, you realise it is more about how it is being put into action by you.Every feedback from the right source that comes your way definitely helps you evolve. Look at what challenges you and work on it.

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” -?Carrie Fisher

Express: Put yourself out there and express. You cannot find yourself till you completely express yourself. You win some , you lose some. It is however the ability to soak in the feedback that shows in your expression. Be yourself.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

Details: Look for the finer details. You know a feedback is genuine when it is specific. Look for those as they give you the nuances you need to work on. Accept it humbly and se how much is possible to take in. Start moving tin the direction of improvement

“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”- William Morris

Benefit: Everything comes with a benefit. What is important is to see where your benefit lies. Especially you may not like or know the person giving it, but if it is specific, listen. The objectivity with which they give it may be a perspective you missed.

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” Napoleon Hill

Action: Once we have understood the “what” get into the action mode. It is so important to just find you joy! The first step to progress is the action element. Start ! Move!

“A well done is better than well said.” —?Benjamin Franklin??

Confidence:The ability to face life come what may is the best gift, we can give ourselves. Confidence is what we tell ourselves and not dependent on the world outside. Talk to yourself and push yourself. All you have to do is to put that confident step out there. The rest follows!

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained”-Marie Curie

Knowing Oneself:? This is the toughest part of who we are. The layers we carry and the way we react are very important for us to be able to understand why we react the way we do to life and its situations.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle

Would love to know how feedback has benefited you.

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Its week 152, Season 3 of the human library audio podcast “U n’ I with Rashmi Shetty”. Our guest this week is Rakesh Godhwani - the founder of SoME, School of Meaningful Experiences. SoME offers programs for working professionals, managers, leaders from corporations, governments, NGOs, academic institutions and entrepreneurs on Six Cs namely, confidence, communication, curiosity, creativity, collaboration and competence. He is also an Adjunct Faculty of Communication at IIM Bangalore and Ahmedabad University. Besides this, he has also taught at IIM Trichy, IIM Udaipur, IIM Vizag, IIIT Bengaluru and Indian Institute of Science. His courses also run at various corporate L&D programs like ISRO, HPCL, Deloitte, Tata, Perfios, Reverie, BetterPlace and so on.?Rakesh has written four books till now. His fourth book titled “Public Speaking Kaleidoscope” was released by Business Expert Press USA in May 2017. His earlier book “What to Say and when to Shut Up!” was published by Penguin Random House in November 2014 and translated in Marathi in 2017. Rakesh launched his online course on EdX and IIMBx called “Effective Business Communication” designed for learners around the world. Rakesh is a much sought after keynote speaker in various industry and education forums.

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