Feedback Is Critical to Transformation. Here’s How (and Why!) to Embrace It

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How do you tell your boss – with whom you have an excellent relationship – that he smells?

This was a problem I faced early in my career. My boss was wonderful in every way, except that he had strong body odor by the end of the day.

My teammates shrugged. “You just have to put up with it,” they said. “What are you going to do? You can’t tell him that!”

But… why not?

At the end of our next working session with my manager, I said, “I’m sure you don’t know this, but you have really bad body odor at the end of the day and you need to do something about it.”

He received it well and, sure enough, took care of the problem quickly.

From that day on, I saw feedback as a gift. And during Tuesday’s livestream , I shared a powerful way to approach feedback so you never dread or avoid it.?

But first, let’s talk about this: why did none of my teammates want to deliver the body odor news to our boss?

Feedback is the worst – or is it?

It seems like there are plenty of reasons not to give feedback.

It’s hard. It’s stressful. We’re afraid it will ruin our relationship . That the other person won’t take it well and they’ll be hurt and get defensive. That we can’t possibly tell a manager how to be more effective! Or that we’re too busy and the moment passes.?

Whatever the reason, we’re stuck in the mindset that giving feedback is difficult, so we avoid it. We also often associate “feedback” with criticism — but they are not the same.?

But what if your perception of feedback changed? What if the feedback you gave and received was usually positive and constructive, given in the spirit of helping someone? Instead of viewing feedback as anxiety-inducing, try thinking of it as a two-way conversation about how to expand on success, improve a work situation, or increase the effectiveness of daily operations.?

Instead of saying, “This happened, and it was bad,” try viewing feedback as an opportunity to listen, ask questions, test your assumptions about someone, and seek to understand why something happened.?

Adopt the mindset that feedback is a coaching conversation and a chance to improve.

When you approach it that way, it’s not horrible (I promise!). Instead, it allows you to lead better and manage people better, leading to the ability to have difficult conversations about diversity, inclusion, underperforming team members, and letting employees go.

And it becomes much easier to create a give and receive feedback so that these forward-thinking conversations happen regularly. For that reason, a culture of feedback is an essential component of transformation.?

So,

How do we create a culture of feedback?

When you’re intimidated or overwhelmed by something, it helps to have guidelines, doesn’t it?

When it comes to feedback, you need a process that outlines clear expectations around giving and receiving feedback. This way, everyone knows what the conversation will look like and how it will feel. They’ll understand that the feedback will be constructive and intentional – and they’ll know exactly how to act on it.

Here are a few powerful ways to create a culture of feedback:

1. Understand that feedback can come from anywhere.

When you create a culture of feedback, feedback can come from any direction: up, down, sideways. It’s not simply a manager telling an employee how to improve their performance – it’s an organization coming together to improve and get more strategic about the future.

2. Adopt SBI.

The Center for Creative Leadership has a wonderful feedback resource called SBI, which stands for situation, behavior, impact. Here’s how it works:

1. First, ask if you can give feedback. If it’s not a good time, figure out a better opportunity. Once that’s done, move on to the next step.
2. Describe the situation. For example, “Remember we were in that meeting with two other team members yesterday?” The other person will respond, “Yes, I remember.” Then you:
3. Talk about the behavior you observed. Maybe someone raised a concern but your teammate dismissed it. You might say, “When Chris raised a potential obstacle, you acknowledged it quickly then said we had to keep moving. Do you remember that?” The other person will likely nod. Next:
4. Identify the impact. For instance, “Well, Chris looked disappointed. As the junior person on the team, I think it took a lot of energy for them to bring up that concern.”?
5. The final step is to ask the recipient of the feedback to mirror back the feedback, especially if you’re giving constructive feedback. Ask the other person to repeat what they heard so you can correct any misunderstandings and have a more productive conversation.?

What happens next is where the conversation takes place. Your teammate may have been unaware that Chris was crestfallen. Or they may have been aware but hadn’t had a chance to circle back to Chris. Or they may have even already taken the initiative and followed up with Chris right after the meeting. By providing feedback in this structured way, you demonstrate that you care and are concerned about the well-being of your teammates without casting blame or recriminations.?

3. Try a “gift of feedback” exercise.

One of the most beautiful things I’ve done in my business was a feedback exercise. Each person wrote something we appreciated about every person on an index card and placed it in a bag with their name on it. Then, we just read them! This simple exercise helps your team to see that feedback can be a positive experience. When you open up that bag and read about how your teammates feel about you, it truly is a gift to know that you are appreciated for something you have done or simply for the way that you show up each day.???

4. Create a feedback habit.

What kind of feedback does your organization need? How can you create a process so that giving feedback becomes a regular habit? Our leadership is grounded in our habits, how we show up, and how we behave. If we want to create a culture of feedback, as leaders we have to identify the places where those two-way conversations sparked by feedback can happen consistently.

Model the way by constantly asking for feedback, be a gracious receiver of it, and provide feedback as often as you can. To create that culture of feedback, as a leader I set it as my goal to give at least one intentional SBI every day and encouraged everyone to find opportunities in their day to day activities to provide positive and constructive feedback.?

Feedback is critical if you want to improve and achieve your big, audacious transformations . It’s an opportunity to adapt, adjust, and improve – and create the future you want to see.

In two weeks, I’ll talk about how to get more people to witness your business transformation, by making it go viral! I hope you’ll join me on Tuesday, March 8 at 9 am PST / 12 pm ET. See you then!

Your Turn

Great feedback needs to be a part of company culture. I’d love to hear how you’re creating a culture that allows for these conversations. What are your best practices? How do you personally deliver feedback? Do you have any positive (or negative!) experience giving or receiving feedback? Please share your thoughts and stories in the comments – I can’t wait to hear from you!