Fearing Things, which are out of our Control

When I talk about the topic “personal fears” in my seminars or during the counselling sessions, we see that 99% of that which we fear is not real, in the sense of, that it never comes to pass. Fear is a fabrication of our brain trying to fill the void of the unknown in our heads. Worries can really rob us of our energy, but what if the things we are afraid of are really big or very real?

The news is raging with updates on war, madness in politics and our climate’s doom. This can inject fear into the most stoic of people. How do we deal with big-scale danger? Can we shut off the fear of things that are out of our control?

Yes and No. Fear is a needed function in our lives. If we did not fear a war at our doorsteps, we would be in denial. If the steady ecological decline of our climate does not sicken or sadden us, we are obviously ignoring some facts. In any case, addressing the issue of fear and anxiety, I can say that there will ALWAYS be something outside of your control, which should be feared. It would be madness to ignore that. Fear itself makes us aware, but constant worry will quickly become unhealthy, so we need to know how to deal with it.

(FYI: I added references at the bottom from other professionals.)[1]

Recognize your Borders (you cannot control it all)

We want to control it all but cannot. An old expression said, “do as if it depended on you, pray as if it depended on God.” Well, that is the same with worry. If it is too big, then you need to stop investing energy in it. You cannot change it. With help from a professional, you can even channel that nervous energy into a goal orientated effort.[2]

I know, it is easier said than done, but below you will find a few suggestions for deflating the pressure inside of you. To start off with, if you truly can change something then it will be within your sphere of influence…

Sphere of Influence (what I can change, I do)

What is this? Well, this can either be your job, your business network, picking up trash at a park, helping orphans, helping raise funds, etc. I cannot change the global climate crisis. I can do my part. I can start a program or lead an initiative. I can sort my trash. I can help others burdened with fear. I can take a first aid course to help people if they are wounded. I can take a mental health first aid course to help people emotionally wounded. I can write a letter to my politicians. I can go peacefully protest (yeah, Serbian students are a good example of this.).

This can help relieve the burden of that which we cannot change or control. Being active within our sphere of influence brings us a lot more than sitting at home just worrying.

Here and Now (mindfulness and helpful techniques)

Limit media. “Wait, didn’t you want to talk about mindfulness here?” Yes and no. Harvard Medical School suggests limiting your intake of news [3] to about 30 minutes a day. I suggest even less, if you already feel anxiety on the topic you are reading about. Why intentionally build up the negative energy you want to fight off by being mindful?

There are several good tips for relieving stress and anxiety.[4] Whether you suffer from panic attacks, the fear of nuclear war or just had a bad day at work, the first thing most professionals suggest, is to practice mindfulness. My personal method is to start off simple. I run my fingertips over my hands and focus on that. Then I focus on my breathing. This calms the soul and distracts the mind from its issues. Additionally, it gives you the chance to see the current fear with less emotion (and with that a clearer mind). ?

Doggie-Bag It (temporarily disarming our emotions)

Sometimes we just don’t have time for the problem. If I am at work and need to finish my deadline, go to the meeting or have that call, then I just cannot lay on the floor, exhale my mantra loud, count my yoga breathing and envision some peaceful place. When properly used, these are good techniques, but in an office meeting or in the subway, it might not come on well. Often what helps is what we call “packing the packages”. Or let’s say, pack it in a doggie-bag like fear-to-go. Why? Here we are not repressing the anxiety but explaining to ourselves that we will deal with the problem later. Do what you promise!

My personal method for this (as I learned from logotherapists[5]) is to visualize my problem being packed into a box. I promise to open the box later and deal with the issue in a safe environment. Now is not the proper time for it. This takes some practice but works well for me.

Hug a Tree (sport, nature and people)

Somehow going for a walk is always the best advice. Movement is a great short-term and long-term tool for stress and anxiety prevention. But, also, living healthier, actively doing sports, regularly drinking water and talking with someone you trust, a professional or in a support group. These are all great long-term supplements to your daily life.

Final words

You are not alone. If fear is robbing you of energy and happiness, please seek help. There are hotlines to call, professionals to seek counselling with and support groups available.

[1] https://www.icanw.org/dealing_with_nuclear_anxiety

?[2] https://mymind.org/coping-with-things-out-of-your-control

& https://www.colorado.edu/health/blog/climate-anxiety

?[3] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/war-anxiety-how-to-cope-202205232748

[4] https://www.healthline.com/health/333-rule-anxiety#other-coping-strategies

[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logotherapy#:~:text=Logotherapy%20is%20a%20form%20of,to%20find%20meaning%20in%20life.