Fear Zone

In the last blog we have looked at the comfort zone, what is it all about, how deceptive and self-sabotaging it is and what it can do if you don’t pay attention to it. Now hopefully you realize the dangers and consequence of staying longer in this zone, you have fought your way out and managed to step out of the cave of deception called comfort zone, however the unfamiliarity of the new situation might make your mind see it with lot skepticism and turn it into a fear zone. Here, you are faced with several layers and levels of fears, this is the trench full of crocodiles which you have to swim through and cross to the other side. You will sure need clear vision, good lot of brevity and persistence to survive and sail through this zone. If you doubt yourself and fall short of one or more of the qualities mentioned, there is every possibility that you will slip back in to the cave of comfort zone. It is worth examining each stratum in detail.

Inhibitions:

Some amount of self-consciousness comes with every new thing you try, and when being out of your usual routine. While this state of unease can and will progress to become normal, it is our mental state, the state of denial, state of rejection, and refutation that makes it more hard, makes us feel that we can’t stand this new situation and hence must avoid it by all means.

Realize that this is more to do with what's playing in your mind rather than whats happening outside. Having to deal with a new situation, people or places is part of the package that life has to offer. The phenomenon of embarrassment lasts only till the moment you allow it, ?the more often you try a new thing the faster it fades away.

Fear of extra efforts:

Most often people want progress but afraid to make some extra efforts, want to avoid walking that extra mile, don’t want to put in that extra hour or two to get over that fence. Consequently they remain where they are and comfort themselves with a self-deceiving belief that they are doing fine and are happy and comfortable!

This requires a mind-shift to bring in a progressive thought process to step up and reach for more.?

Avoid hardship:

We perceive momentary hardship as pain and avoid it by all means as though that pain would be permanent and worst yet, we feel accomplished having avoided the hard work which in fact could have enabled us to move forward. The very form of viewing the effort required to achieve better results as ‘pain’ is a defeat in itself. Most often you fear the variance in work that looks and makes you feel like hardship, while you may be putting in the same amount or even more efforts in doing what you are doing at the moment. Any work done over a period of time becomes routine and habit and once that falls into a habitual course, it's not pain anymore, it's just a routine.

Easier it would be when we see the extra efforts required to progress, as a natural consequence, as natural as you got to breathe and keep breathing to keep yourself alive.

Look at the lives of some of the most successful people from Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam to?Dwayne Rock Johnson, and many more, in fact every successful person had to work hard, endure hardship and strive to achieve what they have become. There are no free lunches and there would never be. Change your perception, invest right and strive for the result that you want to achieve.?

Fear of unknown:

Most people don’t want to learn a new thing, and avoid trying something latest for the fear of unfamiliarity. We focus on what could go wrong while we forget the fact that the chances of why it could go right would be high if we put in the right efforts or in a worst scenario the chances of what could go right are very much equal to what could go wrong.

Remember what you are comfortable doing today was also an unknown thing when you first did it. There is always a first time for everything, what is unknown today will become a familiar thing tomorrow.

Unease:

Some amount of nervousness is a natural reaction when exposed to something unknown, especially if that is something challenging. This becomes a major hurdle in crossing the comfort zone when we see it as taxing and trying situation. Unease is the natural defence mechanism that our mind has built over a period of time, however it is up to you to train your mind to face the change, adapt and be assured. The fact is, even a short exposure to new situations will enable you to be better prepared, overcome the sense of unease and make you better equipped to deal with similar situation the next time around. Taking it as a learning exercise and making most of it while in the situation will turn it in to an empowering experience.?

Sense of shame:

The fear of failure or fear of not being up to the expectation, and the shame and humiliation associated with it leads us to fear of attempting anything new. Very often it makes people choose to remain where they are rather than get in to even slightly challenging situation that they feel might lead to shame.

Accepting the reality, and paying attention to what you want to achieve rather than what you have to go through momentarily will be the key to overcome such mental blockades and move ahead in life.

Fear of failures:

The fact is there is not a single person or prophet on the face of this earth who could avoid eating this humble pie. Failures are an integral part of journey to success. However no one wants to fail in life, great amount of people would avoid new opportunities and feel it's better to continue with what they have, just because they can avoid facing the failure in trying something new. In this thought process a person has already failed in his mind, much before the actual attempt. Attempt to do is different from an attempt to succeed.

Though, in failing too there will be great learnings, one need to start with an attempt to succeed, have that endurance to face the failure and rise to success.?

Fear of success:

Yes, you read it right, people fear success as well. Success often means work at a higher level, which could be more intense and have some challenges with answerability. Often people would rather avoid success than to accept that obligation, accountability, and shouldering the onus that comes with the success. It all depends on how far ahead you are seeing in your life, where you are now and where you want to be, what you want from this life, these are some of the question you need to constantly ask yourself and find answers.?

Fear of other’s opinions:

Often we are overly concerned about the opinions, even when those opinions are from people who are in no way connected to your work. This again is mental issue and the more we pay attention to those futile opinions the farther we go from our objectives. As a matter of fact, no one has the time to sit and think about you or make opinions about you alone, people are busy with their own lives. In fact, it doesn’t matter what people think about you, what matters is what you think of yourself. Remember, what brings food to your table is your own efforts, not the other people or their opinions. Even if some express their opinions, take it as a feedback, make use of it improve yourself and learn to move ahead. Let there be some opinions, this will give you feedback on you, your work and at the least it will give an ideas as to who is who and who thinks what!

Fear of being foreign:

Being someone new in a situation or in the group and the consequence of having to face those others who are perceived to know better than you just because they are there before you, also could have significant impact on keeping people stay put in a place. Haven’t we heard someone say ‘I am better off like this… let me be here’. You will remain foreign as long as you choose to be! Reach out and you will find friends and well-wishers everywhere.?

Fear of responsibility:

Any new work/assignment will sure come with some additional responsibility, which most people see it as ‘this means additional work and efforts’, and people are quite conservative when it comes to some extra labour even if it means success and progress.

You need to be careful with what you trade here, would you trade your future and progress in life for some momentary comfort by avoiding responsibility?

Responsibility starts with your own self, you need to take responsibility for your life, stop blaming everything else and expecting from others. Your progress, growth, success and life is your sole responsibility, period.

The sooner you accept the reality and choose to fight the odd, get over the self-grown fears and move out of that ‘self-deceiving zone’ the better it is for you and the people around you. What happens next is that you will enter the learning zone, this is where the magic will happen and you don’t want to miss this.

?? Watch this space, as we will discuss the learning zone in detail next.?

?You don’t belong to the cave of deception, this is not your abode, get off, get out, if you need a push, feel free to DM me.