Fear - your friend and foe

That voice inside as you stand on the edge of a cliff to jump into the water, as you assess the pros and cons of the unchartered in front of you, has been genetically embedded inside of you by Evolution. Our ancestors relied on this voice to stay clear of harm and remain alive. This Fear alerted them of the impending danger from predators, including other humans, and take necessary precautions.

That said, in this article, I want to explore if we have let this voice go too far. Have we let it become a Dictator allowing it to marshal key moments and key decisions in our lives? Have we empowered it to a point that it controls outcomes by crippling us into inaction? On the flip side, from time to time do we undervalue Fear, and therefore become reckless by taking undue risks?

First of all, Fear if used well, provides a scaffolding of risk management so we are not going through life being reckless and foolhardy. It helps us weigh risks and rewards of our decisions. It keeps us honest about our circumstances and capabilities, and guides us in taking the appropriate decision.

But we listen to this voice as if it is belongs to us, as if it is born out of us and succumb to its constant barrage of "watch out else you will..". Who or what influences this inner voice? and how do we know we can trust it, and that it is acting in our best interest?

There is a science on how our belief systems developed during our formative years drives our attitude towards Fear. If you were raised in an environment that encouraged rash behavior, you will be prone to taking disproportionately high risk. Those brought up in risk averse environments would be more conservative in their approach. But the key question is - how do you know you have a balanced perspective when you rationalize risks and rewards in life?

Here is how I suggest one can do this:

1. Candidly ask people who know you well - spouse/partner, parents and close friends - and listen to their feedback without applying any personal judgements?
2. Introspect on how your life has and continues to unfold and what decisions got you here e.g. how did your education and career choices unfold? how has your social life unfolded? how are you trending as a person?
3. Next, analyze this feedback and see if it is aligned with who you are, want to become and how you want to lead your life.
4. For those areas where you see a gap, be impatient to make changes. Try not to let procrastination and fear of failure keep you from making these changes.

I will end with this - Fear can be your friend or foe depending on how you use it. Life is all about the decisions you make, and ones made in the influence of disproportionate Fear will eventually come back as regrets. For most people this will happen too late in life. I therefore plead you to introspect and make Fear your friend. And as you would to a friend, don't be afraid to confront it when you feel it is inhibiting you in achieving what you really want to become.