Fear Whispering: Getting Unstuck by Confronting Worries & Summoning Courage
I help my clients set and achieve meaningful career goals, and I see fear every day. It is often fear of the unknown that stops people from making changes. They remain stuck or unhappy in a situation, yet avoid creating positive change letting fear win. All professionals experience fear at different career junctions: fear of making mistakes, fear of rejection, fear of failing, and even fear of success. Yes, the fear of having what is wished for and sustaining that success. The more I work with clients, the more evidence I see that fear is the main culprit to blame for lost dreams and missed opportunities. Fear is an unpleasant emotion. My job as a career coach is to call fear out to bring awareness to clients’ feeling, and then offer new perspectives to build powerful insights for creating forward movement.
Fear can be sneaky and show up in all kinds of disguises. No matter in what form fear manifests in your life, it gets in the way of strategic decision-making, making it harder to process information logically. The brain, in an attempt to protect you, sends you in the direction away from stress and right into the safety of the comfort zone, which when you really think about it, is the scariest thing in the world. Nothing interesting ever happens there. Nothing of substance ever grows within its boundaries. It’s the place where aspirations wither, life stalls, and careers quickly stagnate. Getting unstuck involves breaking the cycle of fear to understand why it shows up, uncover the stories it tells, and identify the coping skills and tactics to pursue and create meaningful outcomes.
Although we all tend to agonize over making the “right” decision, the undeniable truth is that many of the decisions we need to make in life, and in our career, will have several good options. None will be perfect. With over 30+ years of work experience, I’ve never met anyone who felt they got it right 100% of the time. The litmus test is not whether we got it right, or wrong, but rather that we tried, strove, and learned from the experience. When we have to make important decisions, the no-lose model applies. Every choice leads to the next. Whatever we decide, it’s always a step forward. Life is full of unknowns. It’s not possible to plan for every outcome or possibility. This principle can serve as a powerful anchor when fear seems to get in the way. It can be a reminder to trust that inner whisper of the heart’s desire and to allow ourselves to take the necessary actions that would allow us to rise to the challenge and reach our full potential.
Throughout the career journey, we are faced with decisions. At the core of decision-making is courageously making room for and creating the space to attract new opportunities. It is the process of going from where you have been to a place you’ve never been to before. The distance between the two points is scary. It is where all of the hard work and action happen. It is also the most exciting place where transformation happens. Success isn’t about completely overcoming the fear, but rather about honoring it and letting it be while still daring to seize the day and the opportunities. Fear is aptly described by its acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real. To overcome it, be REAL:
Release what was.
Embrace what is.
Accept the profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life.
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Look at what you’ve got & make the best of it.
Remember that underneath ordinary fear lies extraordinary opportunities. So how do you face fear and free yourself to take the leap?
First ask: “How is this fear serving me? Is it helpful or is it holding me back? Should I take action to solve this fear?”
As you work on your courage plan, remember that courage comes in many shapes, sizes and forms. Living courageously means that you take the leap despite feeling afraid. Look within and find the fire that lights your path (as scary as it may be.) Embrace setbacks and seek out the positive even in fearful situations. List a variety of tactics to manage and conquer your fears to get unstuck, jump over the fire, and move ahead. Don’t let fear stand in your way. Whatever you fear, if you face it and take action, even a tiny step, it would start to fade. But you must plan ahead and develop your coping arsenal. Every worthwhile endeavor requires a lot of planning and effort. You do not climb a mountain without being fit, without being prepared, or without any stumbles. Always be prepared but expect the unexpected. Dare to set ambitious career goals and bravely allow yourself to make mistakes, to embrace the process of exploration and discovery. Know that stumbles will push you toward great possibilities. Mistakes will expand your thinking, capacity, and abilities. Make mistakes because that’s where you will find growth. Your collection of mistakes forms your invaluable experience and unique life story.
When you feel overwhelmed thinking “I can’t do this,” you learn to “see” that there’s a way forward. Try a new program. Find new resources. Explore your options to chart a new path. Find a way to do what you can regardless of the web of conspiring circumstances. Believe at the deepest level possible that you can transcend fear and start living your life in abundance.