Fear vs. Faith

Moments of doubt, feeling like failed or loss? What to do to push those forward? Analysing the moment of doubt is significant, because doubt comes before failure, so it is actually related to fear. The feeling of doubt has its source in human being's self protection instinct and desire to be safe. However, sometimes in those self protection situations, we block what we actually desire most: Connection. There is a big difference between the desire to be safe and operating from a state of fear, like the intention to protect ourselves, when we are not at risk at all or to stay on the ground and be solid, instead of letting the freedom reveal.

Doubts actually feed you with the insight, that you do not have enough information about that topic, that project, that business, that person to get you to a clear No or a clear Yes. Therefore, first you need to collect information and data around the topic - state of information. Having a deeper insight about the situation feeds you with significant load of information for your logical brain to feel at ease making the decision. Once you give fear the information it needs, it just goes away.

"The right information at the right time is 9/10 of any battle.” - Napoleon Bonaparte

Then in order to move forward on a more reliable foundation, you need to know what you are going to do with those information - state of intention. It's crucial to know how you feel about a decision by leaning on faith and letting the gut brain kick in and strengthen the logical brain. Sometimes even if the information that comes in is not good and nice, you still have a strong initiative to move forward and jump. Yet, only feeling good about something is not enough. In order to make that good feeling last for a long time, you need to craft the decision with a strategic plan and weigh the situation before making the move - state of preparation. Facing and tackling circumstances and challenges are actually much alike preparing for war. As you may know, much of the art of war has always been knowing and appreciating the value of time and waiting for the right moment to strike. The greatest victories throughout history only occured, when the enemy never got the chance to really fight, because it was struck by an strategic move of the counterpart in the right moment. Now, considering fight as a healthy conflict within ourselves or between ourselves and others, it teaches us how to interact and discover our own or each other's standpoints, then diligently move forward and create agreements and results.

Once you have a solid plan crafted, you are well equiped and ready to leap - state of action. But then jump, and don't let the moment of discovery become interrupted by a stop sign or a hiccup. And when you leap, leap with the intention to fly, knowing that you may fail. And should you fail, promise yourself not to fail and just fall, but fail forward. Otherwise, you just stay there and collect evidences why you should never leap again, i.e. last time I did, then this and that happened, so I will not do it again. Sounds familiar? But if you commit yourself to fail forward, champion yourself for having played big enough, for having tried scary stuff and having taken the chance and also the risks on yourself. Unless you want to live a safe boring life.

When you learn to fail forward, the failures start getting a constructive context helping you find out, what are the things you did wrong, what can you keep doing and where should you improve? And do not forget that success and failure are totally relative. Think back of the moments in life where you thought you were super successful or super loser, then reconsider and re-evaluate those circumstances once more in front of your eyes. Then decide consciously to reshape all those circumstances and carry them all the way with yourself as your treasure to move towards the new chapter.

There is a hallway of adjustment for everything.

Evolving such perspective takes a great deal of maturity and courage and it can take time. Maturity in this aspect is understood as having the power of recognizing that every moment in this life is complete for itself at that very present moment - not earlier and not later. It is the power of seeing loss or failure as the end of a process or as completion of a circle. This can be in any life chapter, i.e. in a project, in your relationship or in your business. So you'd better look at them as bunch of completed experiences or a fulfilled loop of life cycle, and so they will close and make space for new chapters or new experiences. That's how the mature, grown up version of you shall see things, looking at yourself as a work in process, learning to honour every single struggle you are going through. Look at your achievements and experiences, admire your resilience for the hardships you have survived, ask who you are today, take a moment to meet your self and then choose to hold on to that version of you with respect and elation.

Don't rush maturity - Honor the process

In the past, I often used to make decisions in rush and take action following a quick logical evaluation and gut feelings. Well, I didn't notice, that I skipped 2 crucial stages of the process - information and preparation. Patience has never been my strength and so if I had faith in something, I would just run for it. And yes, I failed every now and then, but I always - unconsciously - failed forward, sometimes pretty fast and sometimes not. 2 years ago, I started learning life changing methods, kept practicing them with resilience and integrated them into my daily life one after the other. Still a long way to go, yet, I relaized that I definitely would have failed and/or suffered less or less often, if I had known what I know now. I didn't know that within me, there has been constantly a battle between my feminine and my masculine integrity - my warrior and my rebel. The feminine integrity follows faith and emotions, while the masculine inetgrity want to jump and take action. So, I started to build a bridge between the two, to introduce my feminine integrity to the power of planing and preparation, and my masculine integrity to the power of evaluation and patience. By crafting such methods to so called muscle memories, you will experience huge shifts and learn to see yourself - during decision making and action process - standing on a mountain pick and not in a valley of circumstances.

Here's the Takeaway: each time doubts and uncertainties arise, greet them with gratitute and champion yourself for facing them instead of escaping them. Then start collecting information, make a solid plan and walk up the hill holding fear in one hand and faith in the other, look down into the battle field and weigh the situation diligently. Then leap, leap with the intention to fly, knowing that you may fail and if so, decide consciously to fail forward and not to fail and just fall. Rise up and complete that loop to make space for a new one. Decide to leave each and every challenge with your head high. If you get hurt or bruised during the battle, just move on and carry your scars like a hero. They shall remind you over and over, that you have chosen to live the life of a victor and not a victim.