Fear Vs Excitement

A common denominator amongst female corporate clients whom I coach tell me that no matter how much they prepare before delivering a presentation at work, or sharing feedback in a meeting, what holds them back is the unshakeable fear and nerves when they stand up to speak.

I get it. I truly do, and here is the reason why.?What they are feeling is completely normal. Much more common than they may have realised. Nerves are normal.?Fear is normal.?Every time each and every single one of us- female and male-speaks to a group of people there will be an element of nerves involved. Why? Because of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol, which are rushed into our bloodstream just before we speak, and this creates the emotions of fear and/or excitement.

Here is the bit I wish someone had told me years ago- fear and excitement are one of the same. There is virtually no difference physiologically, but there is a big difference in how we react, based on these two emotions.?The trick is when you feel the fear bubbling up, harness the feeling, and turn it into excitement.?

Speaking of harnesses, here's an example- Last year I decided to jump out of a plane at 15,000 feet. (See photo attached to this article). ?Disclaimer—I am not an adrenalin junkie. When we got to 10,000 feet and the pilot said we had five minutes to go until we jumped head first out of the plane, the fear in me started to bubble up fast!?Until this point, travelling up there that morning I was calm, chilled, I was ready, but now! Now I had thoughts such as

"What if the parachute does not open?"

"This plane sounds like it's on it's last legs, it's?going to crash in the next five minutes!"

"What if during the jump this flimsy harness holding me and my instructor breaks!?"

But then I remembered, what I had been practising by

BREATHING DEEPLY- to harness/hold firm the emotion, by taking a deep breath in, then breathe out, because breath reduces the number of hormones in your body that are stress related, cortisol and adrenaline.??You can calm those levels down just by doing some deep breathing.

SMILING! - important, because it signals to your body that you are happy, so I repeated in my mind, "I'm excited! I have been waiting for this for over 6 months! I cannot wait to jump!", over, and over, and over again, until the fear simmered down about 60-90seconds later.?This is where the mantra "fake it until you make it" stems from.?Cultivating positive thoughts can help you overcome and control rushes of fear.??

Can you see from just these two examples of breathing deeply, and thinking positively how I was able to turn what could have been a petrifying experience into one of empowerment, and unadulterated joy. And this can be a similar experience when you speak in front of your peers and seniors at work.