Fear is the social mind killer

(I'm trying something different this week and from now on I'm embedding a video down below of the transcript in every newsletter. If you don't like reading, watch the video instead! That's me facing my fear see).

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So I got that public speaking thing out of the way last week and it was a whole lot less scary than I thought it would be (surprise, surprise). Funny isn't it it the tricks our squirrel brain plays on us.

The unknown creates a vacuum that is not controlled by us and rationally analysed by the mind and it starts to run away with itself.

And my brain (used) to get locked into that state very easily. When you experience trauma your brain and body stays in high alert mode. Looking for threats. You're constantly stressed and physiologically that ain’t good.

I started watching one of my favourite films at the weekend again (for the umpteenth time and it's also one of my favourite books). Dune. It’s a classic hero's journey structure.

SPOILER ALERT - Young man has powerful family, family is cast down and killed, boy begins his ascension into a man, gains superpowers and becomes the new ruler of the known universe. All whilst high on a drug called spice and surrounded by giant worms (a physical embodiment of fear itself). It’s a lot more complex than it sounds ??

My absolute favourite line in the film and book is called the Litany against fear and it goes like this.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Beautiful isn't it. It's a reminder that in order to conquer our fear of a thing we must first accept it and face it. Only then can we move through it. I guess that’s why I have maybe always been attracted to things that scare me (extreme sports like mountain biking and snowboarding for instance) when you have lived in a hyperaroused state of fear for most of your life those things don’t seem to scare you as much or maybe they just feel normal??

"Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it." Judy Blume

In the human brain the almond shaped amygdala regulates emotion-related behaviour.

The amygdala activates whenever we see a human face with an emotion. This reaction is more pronounced with anger and fear. A threat stimulus, such as the sight of a predator, triggers a fear response in the amygdala, which activates areas involved in preparation for motor functions involved in fight or flight. It also triggers release of stress hormones and sympathetic nervous system.

This leads to?bodily changes ?that prepare us to be more efficient in a danger: The brain becomes hyperalert, pupils dilate, the bronchi dilate and breathing accelerates. Heart rate and blood pressure rise. Blood flow and stream of glucose to the skeletal muscles increase. Organs not vital in survival such as the gastrointestinal system slow down.

Knowledge gaps also create fear, once we understand the context and bigger picture of a subject we start to close that gap.

The reason your company won’t approach social and see some of the negative connotations associated with it like, things like fake, toxic, controlling, dangerous, scary, addictive. Is because of that knowledge gap, what I call the digital divide.

Now imagine if we started to own this, close the digital divide on social and understand just how powerful these mechanisms are when we start to take control of them. We might start to use these kind of words instead. Creative, fun, force for good, life affirming, future, sales, conversations, influence. Taking you and your team and letting them walk in and own that digital space and slowly and surely start to open up the gap on your competition.

Because of knowledge gaps, we have a perceived risk of threat and uncertainty. As that gap widens the fear become greater. So we start to rationalise it by telling ourselves the thing is alien and creating barriers to stop us accessing it. Our rational mind then compartmentalises it which makes it safe to move on.

But what if we could overcome our fear? Especially our fear of social? We can through repetition.

Repeat the activity until you start to feel the fear dissipate. Over time, repeated exposure to a safe, non-harmful version of whatever made you afraid can reduce the negative association and replace it with a neutral or positive association. For example, repeatedly seeing other people climb without falling may begin to overwrite your negative association with heights. And the more you fly and land safely, the less dangerous flying is likely to feel. Not only does it help strip way the fear until the exercise becomes enjoyable it also (and this is the important part) embeds the neural pathways needed for?healthy?habit formation.

The easiest way to do this is through content. The beauty of a platform like LinkedIn is the sheer mix of content types available. We have video, lives, images, photos, text, audio (both with Linkedin audio rooms or audiograms embedded into posts). Find a content lane you're comfortable in. This will help embed that habit of repetition (how all good habits are formed). You can then slowly push yourself out of that comfort zone and embrace different mediums. If you like writing start there and, push yourself into a new medium like video (which I know for a LOT of people can be scary).

Once you move past that fear you’ll start to get braver and slowly, day by day find your digital voice. When this starts to happen you start to step into owning your space and really cement your personal brand (but more on that next week).

Dreams are messages from the deep

Summary

• Create good habits from repetition (atomic habits is a great read in this area).
• Start to open up knowledge gaps and close the digital divide through learning, the fear becomes more rationalised and logical then.
• Start in a familiar content lane, then occasionally swerve into oncoming traffic now and again.
• Start to find your feet and own your digital voice, this will help form the basis for your personal brand.

You are more powerful than you imagine, what’s holding you back is fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of what you could be. I’ll leave you with this beautiful quote from Marianne Williamson.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be??t’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others - Marianne Williamson

See you next week for more Electric Dreams and remember to face that fear!?

#fear #knowledge #learning #training #thatsocialnerd