F.E.A.R.

Forget everything and run or face everything and rise

This was a really hard article to write. 5-weeks-hard. Scared I had writers block hard (after my 2-article career).

It’s hard to be this vulnerable. This exposed. This honest with...myself. With you.

As you may (or may not) know, I’m pushing myself way out of my comfort zone in some areas that are really uncertain and super "fuzzy", yet rooted in something magnetic and powerful.

“It” is still very unclear to me. I don’t fully know where I am going or exactly what I am being called to do. (Important fact: I am Triple-Type-A and don’t like "fluffy" anything.)

This “thing” (I mean what else do I even call it???) started off as a soft whisper last year. This year it feels like a fierce call to just GO! So I listened to myself. I’m also a total just “GO-er”, so I followed my gut...and my heart, and took action to move closer to this “thing”.

What I am clear about with my new #BFF “thing” is that it’s grounded in something along the lines of bringing transparency, authenticity and "fluffy-something" to common yet complex issues like:

• Work/life balance
• Parenting
• Women entrepreneurs
• Friendships
• Authentic leadership
• Mentoring young women
• Women who work
• Personal growth
• Love of learning

Roger. I hear ya! Loud and clear.

"Triple Type-A me" also feels as though I sound like a crazy person that can’t focus...but you read earlier that I said it’s still very "fluffy".

I feel called to bring a perspective to all the exciting, ugly, complex and shameful things that come with this journey. This journey I feel like many people are on. Your circumstances may be a little different than mine, but I have a feeling that your inner voices and your struggles are similar.

As I take small steps to move closer to #BFF “thing”, I find myself on a roller coaster of massive doubt and pure, yet intense excitement.

I am constantly bouncing between “What the heck am I doing?” to >> “You can do this...just GO!”.

5+ weeks lately I find myself feeling more tense, more short-sided, more introverted, more emotional, more clouded, more tired, and more doubtful.

What I am feeling is fear.

Fear is in my head, and I’ve come to learn that this is not a good place for fear to be.

With fear in my head, I look at these big "fluffy" ideas and all I see are reasons why they can’t happen.

Some days I’m great at shushing the inner voices. Other days the voices are a little louder and harder to control. Here is what I do know.

I can’t do this if I’m scared.

In many cases, fear is what paralyzes and stops people. What's interesting is that I find fear pushes me. I want it more because it's hard. I'm not even remotely close to quitting. I just recognize that I’m a little stuck and I need to push through.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been frantically trying to study fear. To learn from others, to find tools and resources that can help me.

A few of the resources I found on this topic:

Tim Ferriss: Fear Setting - The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month

Tim Ferriss: Fear Setting Video

Tim Ferriss: Fear Setting Tools

Tim Ferriss: #243 How to Fear Less - Vince Vaughn

Tim Ferriss: #227 Conquering Fear and Reducing Anxiety - Caroline Paul

Tim Ferriss: #357 Susan Cain - How to Overcome Fear and Embrace Creativity

Brene Brown's Book: Dare to Lead

Here's what I found. I'm still fighting honestly... but currently taking these steps to push through.

1. Face fear.

Name it. Call it out. Write about it. Talk about it. Get intimate with what is scaring you.

The things I am scared of today are:

• Being criticized
• Not having a plan
• Not knowing the endpoint
• Making bad decisions
• Not being enough of a voice
• Failing
• Failing publicly

I could go on, but I think you get it.

2. Fear setting

Tim Ferriss has a ton of great resources on fear. (PS: I'm such a fan.) Here’s a short video he published on fear setting. The key takeaway for me is: Instead of just focusing on the risk of taking action, look at the pros and cons of not taking action. What is the risk of not taking action? 

#BFF Tim shares that he practices fear setting at least once a quarter. His tools are designed to help you visualize the worst case scenarios and capture your thoughts on paper. He provides three templates to help guide your fear setting:

1. Scenario mapping: What if I….?
2. What are the benefits of attempted success?
3. What is the cost of inaction?

3. Embrace the suck!

Once again, Brene Brown is here to impart her amazing wisdom on complex topics like this. (Goodness, it’s so good I can’t even stand it! I’ve seriously lifted everything below directly from her book Dare to Lead. #brenebrownsgroupie)

OK. Read this as if she’s talking to me (or you) about this uncomfortable place of fear... 

This is part of the journey and you have to

embrace the suck.

Courage and fear are not mutually exclusive.

We can feel brave and afraid at the exact same time.

These are the moments Roosevelt called “in the arena”

Where we are in between fear and a call to courage.

We need skills, shared learnings, tools and daily practices that can support us through this rumble.

To rumble is to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and problem solving.

To rumble is to take a break and circle back when we need to.

…..Without the ability to rumble you can’t do the rest.

 

4. Believe in Magic

A few chapters later, Brene Brown calls out Amy Pohler. She comments on loving this excerpt from Amy’s Netflix Show: Smart Girls Ask Amy.

It’s very hard to have ideas.

It’s very hard to put yourself out there.

It’s very hard to be this vulnerable.

But those people that do that are

...The dreamers

...The thinkers

...The creators

They are the magic people of the world.

What I know today is that fear is grounded in mindset. Which brings to reality the power of a quote that Tim Ferriss shares in his research.

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality

- Seneca

So here I am...

Rumbling with fear.

Embracing the suck.

Trusting in the process.

Trying to carefully balance what's real vs in my head.

Giving myself some time to learn.

Embracing vulnerability and "fuzziness".

And believing in the *magic* people of the world.

I’ll leave you with a quote I’ve always loved…

Don’t ask what the world needs.

Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.

Because what the world needs is more people who come alive.

-Howard Thurman

 

#writersblockout

#theend

About Shannon Prager

Shannon Prager is a recognized B2B marketing strategist and the President of Leadit Marketing. She is responsible for the daily operations and management of Leadit Marketing as well as the long term vision for the company. A marketing leader with over 19 years of B2B demand generation and marketing experience, she understands the importance of a fully developed integrated marketing strategy. Shannon’s background includes demand generation, marketing automation, social media, digital marketing, customer marketing, account based marketing and marketing operations. You can follow her on Twitter @ShannonPrager and on Instagram @shannon_prager.  Sign up for our weekly blog for the latest tips and trends in B2B marketing.