8 Strategies To Stop Fear From Running Your Life

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A common thread is often revealed when I coach business people and investors to overcome a certain challenge in their business. This thread goes along the lines of the fear of failure, fear of rejection. or fear of not being enough... simply put, fear is common in our lives. And if we surrender to it, fear can keep us stuck in our comfort zone and prevent us from reaching our true potential. Accepting to live in fear causes a double challenge where you're unfulfilled with the status quo yet afraid to pursue bigger plans in your life.

But fear could also become a blessing to a life free from fear. I know that sounds strange, so let me explain.

If we allow fear to help us break through the frustrations to achieve the life we truly desire, it can serve a valuable purpose. That’s right, fear can become a tool for finding fulfillment. Discover how to stop living in fear – or better yet, how to use fear as your ultimate inspiration.

The Psychology of Fear

Fear and anxiety are powerful sensations that go a long way in keeping us safe. If the dog down the street bites you, the fear that results when you next see this same dog will help you avoid another bite. But what about when the response goes too far? If you instead come to fear all dogs, not just the one that bit you, that fear might drastically change how you act, becoming a detriment, not a benefit.

To stop living in fear, you must understand the underlying psychology so that you can actively work against it. To a point, fear and anxiety have a place in healthy human psychology. Acute fear is a normal emotion that signals a potential threat to your physical or emotional safety. It is a natural response for our survival.

But when acute fear response becomes hypersensitive, it becomes chronic fear, and it occurs when we are continually exposed to low-level yet stressful events. Things like the news, the pandemic, economic downturns, or challenges in the workplace, cause us to irrationally anticipate negative events. Unlike acute fear, chronic fear can lower our natural life-saving response and cause us to believe we need to be “saved” by an outside force.

Everyone is Living in Fear

Everyone has experienced an anxiety disorder in their lives, due to acute fear, irrespective of whether acute or chronic fear. It’s typically chronic fear that causes our deep-seated anxiety issues, and everything from the media to our way of life has been blamed. But living in a state of blame has never helped anyone solve their problems. It’s time to take ownership of your emotions and transform your life.

"Life is found in the dance between your deepest desire and your greatest fear." - Tony Robbins.

Now, the interesting part of the story is that many people go through life without realizing they’re living in fear. Please take a moment and ponder on this!

That’s because fear is often confused with comfort. We become comfortable with our lives, and we think that we are happy and fulfilled with this feeling of certainty. The caveat is when we become too comfortable, it starts to hold us back.

Here are a few signs you are living in fear:

• Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching excessively high unrealistic goals. This need to be or appear perfect, or even to believe that it's possible to achieve perfection, is a mask we wear to protect ourselves from taking action.
• On the other hand, settling for less than you deserve is a powerful indicator you’re letting your need for certainty run your life. If you don’t have passion for your relationship and your job, it's a sign you're living in fear.
• Always procrastinating and putting your goals off until you have more time is a classic delay tactic for those who are living in fear. It’s time to stop making excuses and start achieving your dreams.

Don’t Let Fear Control You

With chronic fear, you’re living a constant state of anxiety. Your fear response influences everything you think, feel, and do, which keeps you stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle of defeat and frustration. The upside to fear is that the emotions surrounding it are usually so unpleasant that they drive you to find another way.

Strategies on how to stop living in fear range from self-care to exercise to seeking professional help. It all starts with committing to facing your fears. Then you're able to discover the strategies that work for you in overcoming dear and finding peace.

1. Determine The Source of Your Anxiety

If you’re living in fear, you've reached a point in your life where you're thinking about your worries around the clock without much mindfulness as to what's causing them. To stop living in fear, you must pinpoint what’s causing your distress.

Here's an exercise to help you determine the source of your anxiety:

1. Get out a piece or open the notes on your device and brainstorm a list. Just write or type down whatever comes to your mind.
2. When you’re finished, circle the items that are tangible concerns – fears that you'll divorce, lose your house due to foreclosure, or lose your job tomorrow.
3. Start giving yourself a sense of control by writing a few actions you can take to prevent these things from happening.
4. Examine the non-circled items, which are the intangible concerns – things like fears of the apocalypse, alien invasion, death of humans due to a pandemic. You’ll see that these have very little chance of happening and are beyond your control. If your fears fall into this category, you’ll need to do some self-reflection to discover how to stop living in fear.

2. Stop The Blame Game

As Tony Robbins puts it: “Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.”

Truly understanding and accepting this concept is the first step to fulfillment. When you start becoming the master of your own destiny, endless possibilities open up to you. In parallel, when you see the world as a place of opportunity, not obstacles, you don’t let fear control you.

The reason for determining the source of your anxiety is to help you assert power over those fears so that they no longer control you. You become in the driver's seat.

Once you identify the source, you can change the story that goes in your mind – and change your mindset. The first step is recognizing that you have a choice. You have the choice to either continue to blame outside forces for your emotions and continue to feel out of control or to take charge of your life and learn how to stop living in fear.

3. Stop The Excuses

Like blame, excuses are a defense mechanism we use to avoid facing our problems. It’s easy to push our hopes, desires, and dreams aside when we have excuses related to not having time, money, power, connections, or just being too busy. We start to hide behind those excuses instead of taking action to move forward.

Excuses are comforting when we’re living in fear. It feels safe to use those excuses against our need to take action. But excuses will also bring you back to exactly where you started. Remember that the next time you fall back on fear and choose to be comfortable instead of facing a challenge, ask yourself whether you're truly where you want to be in life. You have to learn how to dismiss your easy way out of resorting to excuses.

4. Turn Your "Shoulds" Into "Musts"

If you make a conscious decision that you have no choice but to succeed, then nothing else matters. You’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen, without leaving room for excuses.

Even the most successful and accomplished people feel like they’re living in fear sometimes. The difference is that rather than allowing fear to suck the life right out of their dreams, they know that the price they will pay if they achieve their goals is far scarier. They know the real fear is living a life where they have settled or compromised what they really wanted.

How do you adopt that mindset and perspective?

Imagine your 80 years old self, sitting in your chair, and reflecting on how you lived your life. Look back on your life as if you had not achieved the goal you are after at this moment. How has this affected the course of your life? What are your regrets? What do you wish you had made more time for? What do you wish you had attempted? Is there sadness and regret? Are you wondering, “What if. . .?” In this way, you can use fear to propel you toward your ultimate goal.

Related: What Life-Changing Advice I Would Give My 21-Year-Old Self

5. Adopt a Growth Mindset

People often give up on what they want because they don't believe in their abilities to reach their goals. They continue living in fear and settle into their current realities, thinking that their goal is unattainable so they don’t even try anything. But the most successful people have adopted a growth mindset, which means they believe in developing their skills and improving their abilities in the face of setbacks. They keep on working harder and developing themselves to challenge those setbacks until they find new strategies to get them to a solution for their problem. They don’t give up when things become challenging. Instead, they find new ways to adapt and work harder to achieve their goals.

6. Celebrate the Opportunity of Failure

If you listen to the stories of the successful and high achievers, there isn’t one successful person in the world who hasn’t had to overcome major obstacles. The most painful experiences can bring valuable insights on what you want and what you don’t want in life... on what works and what doesn't work. Failure, disappointment, hiccups. setbacks, challenges, dead-ends – these can all be used as a means of reflecting and saying, “This didn’t work. It wasn’t the right fit. So what do I really want?”

In its simplest explanation, we are built to adapt. If you keep this in mind, you can embrace your inner strength and use each experience as a tool to help you learn more about yourself and what you really must have in life. When you’re facing a painful experience or feel ready to give in to fear, picture someone you admire who faced adversity – they wouldn’t have achieved the success they now have without learning how to stop living in fear.

You need to accept one truth: Failure is inevitable – You will fail. It’s just part of becoming successful. Failure provides insights and inherently corrects the faulty ways of approaching a problem. There is no better teacher than the sting of failure. If you use this experience as unique information, and adjust your strategy and approach the next time around, you will have an advantage that no one else does.

Related: How Failure Can Be An Integral Part Of Your Success, Even If You Have Made Tons Of Mistakes!

7. Practice Physical and Mental Self-Care

Mental health and physical health are fundamentally linked. There are multiple associations between mental health and chronic physical conditions that significantly impact people’s quality of life.?The World Health Organization (WHO) defines health as a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.??In short, there is no health without mental health, and people with chronic physical conditions are at risk of developing poor mental health.

Now that we understand the links between mind and body, next time you feel like you’re living in fear, start with a simple tactic of changing your posture and adopting a “power pose.” It can make you feel more confident and less fearful. Physical activity is proven to reduce depression and anxiety, so next time you feel fear coming on, get out and go for a walk, practice a hobby that keeps your body active. Even better, make exercising a habit and your mind is set to stay in positive shape. When you combine physical and psychological self-care, you have the recipe for how to stop living in fear.

Remember that fear cannot coexist with positive emotions – it's either one or the other. You cannot feel both scared and joyful, or afraid and grateful, but you can replace one with the other. When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. You shift your focus from the negative to the positive. Where focus goes, energy flows, so when you change your mindset in this way, you find that you naturally bring more positivity – and less fear – into your life.

8. Start Living Instead of Worrying

When we’re living in fear, we’re often also living in either the past or the future. We let our past experiences haunt us and affect our future decisions. We worry so much about what could happen to an extent we forget to enjoy what is happening.

Stop missing your life. Be fully present and go out there practice a new sport or game and make new acquaintances. Live in the "Now".

Related: Living Your "Dash" Will Determine The Legacy You Leave

If you’re ready to learn how to stop living in fear, you have to decide that your dreams are more important than your fear of failure. Make the decision today to master your fears and start existing as the most joyful, successful version of yourself possible.