"The Fear of Rejection"

The fear of rejection is the strongest and most powerful fear that often has a far-reaching impact on our lives. This FEAR is biologically wired in the human brain with a longing to belong; we fear being seen in a different way. We’re often anxious about the probability of being demeaned, cut off, or isolated. We fear being alone. We dread change.

Most humans experience some nerves when placing themselves in situations that could lead to rejection, but for some people, the fear becomes crippling’. The fear of rejection tends to worsen with time, gradually taking over virtually every part of a sufferer’s life.

Being human, we want to be accepted & wanted, it’s natural! It pains to be rejected and to experience loss. If our worst fear becomes true—if our catastrophic fantasy becomes a reality and we’re rejected—our body has a way of healing, only if we can trust our natural healing process. It’s called grieving.

Life has a way of humbling us and reminding us that we’re big part of the universe - human condition!

What is it that most of us fear?

·        losing our health

·        losing our status

·        losing money

·        losing relationships

·        losing our peace of mind

·        losing our youth

·        losing our life

We also fear, possibly more than anything else, losing approval from others. Fear of rejection is worldwide.

Have you ever considered that changing external circumstances is sometimes not in our control but how many of you understand that we do not need to change the external environment or external circumstance, we need to deal with the internal environment – our own mind! It’s all in their! Whatever is hardwired is going to transmit externally. If you fear getting rejected, whether in a job, relationship- then your fear will manifest into reality – and whatever you tell yourself will be true!

So how can you deal with fear of rejection?

1) There's nothing to fear but fear itself”, Ever heard the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy'?

The prophecy is a false idea about a ‘situation’ that makes the person with the belief act in such a way that the false idea comes true. You wrongly believe your partner is rejecting you; you become defensive, anxious, and angry. Eventually, these behaviors may bring feared rejection which wasn't there to begin with.

Someone wrongly believes a group will reject them, so they start feeling angry with the group, and the group rejects them. Now the 'prophet' feels they were right from the very beginning: "I told you so! /I knew it!"

You see how this works? In fact, some people just want to be proven right - even if that means a bad outcome! Anticipating the worst can act as a type of emotional insurance policy.

However, it is possible to overcome the fear of rejection and develop a healthier level of Self-confidence and Self- Esteem. Whether you’re dealing with a fear of rejection in your job/career, relationship, friendships or simply in any part of your life, there are techniques you can use to move forward.

Now that you have a better understanding of what your fear of rejection looks like, let’s get started to beat it!

ü Redefine the Meaning of Rejection

Remember!!! That all your favorite idols, musicians, artists, entrepreneurs have been rejected at some point. When you get rejected, you probably presume it means something terrible about you. But how do you feel about others who have experienced rejection?

Try to see and feel ..that experiencing rejection is not the same as being unlovable, worthless or destined to be alone forever. In other words, rejection doesn’t have to carry that much weight – not if you don’t let it.

As day comes after every night, success comes after failure! Being rejected is a like a process to get you where you want to! As if you take it constructively, you will reach to your next destination. Let’s take an example – take a look five years back… the things that didn’t happen … how do you feel about them today? They didn’t happen for a reason; the reason is where you are NOW… so will be the next reason!

‘Risk’ is necessary for “Emotional Growth” - When you choose to love someone, you risk loss. Whether by death or separation, the risk of rejection is right there in your mind. Is it better to love and risk loss or rejection than to not love at all? The answer is YES, it’s simple. Science has proven that we are wired to seek love, belonging, acceptance and form connections. Avoiding rejection closes the doors to many potentially fulfilling relationships.

Every day is a learning experience – So, Consider rejection as a learning experience-Rejection isn't an end, but a beginning! This is true because you probably may take something away or learn something from the experience of rejection. Instead of fearing it, try to think of rejection as yet another chance, if it happens, to acknowledge & learn.

AND LASTLY,

NEVER NEVER NEVER……………. STOP TRYING!!

Try, try, and try again. Speaking precisely in regards to probability, the more times you put yourself out there and try, the more opportunities you create. Before negative thinking creeps in EXAMPLE- “The more I put myself out there, the more likely I am to be rejected”, remind yourself that when you don’t try, you are in the same place and situation you would have been in had you been rejected. You'll see that your fear is keeping your from potential opportunities.

As they say …..TRY TRY TRY and You’ll succeed :)

Madhupriya..