Fear is part of it!

Fear is part of it. Acknowledge that. Period. Once you do it, you’ll feel more comfortable on moving on.

I’m here to share with you a passage of my life that marks this well.

The return

The year was 2005 and I had just returned from the UK.

I had spent close to 2 years in the British island, where I made several friends. But something was missing. I was alone at the time. Human beings were made to live in groups, to settle with a partner to whom one can share the good and the bad moments in life. And I did not find this comfort in London.

To this feeling of emptiness, add the fact that my parents were trying to convince me, yet again, that it was time to go back to Brazil and to be closer to “home”.

After living 8 years of my life outside my home country, I was considering myself a world citizen, not a Brazilian. The sensation of freedom was outstanding and so my will to know other places where I could settle. But at this moment I didn’t have much of a choice.

It was time to settle somewhere and start building my career on solid grounds.

Start over

To be able to reset my mind, start fresh and kick off a new beginning, I had to do something I was longing for all my life: parachute jump!

My hometown Piracicaba was famous for this kind of activity, so it was easy to obtain information. I went to the local airport and gathered all information I could regarding the event. Basically, there are 2 types of parachute jumping for beginners. The tandem skydiving is the one that allows jumpers to free-fall for 30 seconds or more while securely harnessed to a trained instructor. It requires minimal ground preparation for this experience. The other type is the static line skydiving where you’re able to jump solo from the airplane right on your first day. It requires a full day of training prior to jumping.

I was looking to celebrate a new beginning, so why not take the full experience? Of course, I chose the second option! I wanted to be in control of everything I could.

When I left the airport, I remembered someone I could share this unique experience with. I head straight to a cousin of mine trying to convince him it was the best idea. It didn’t take long to explain all the details and hear “let’s do it!”.

We agreed on the date and started searching for online videos so we could get a better taste of what to expect. The feeling of excitement and butterflies in the stomach were all mixed with the thrill of doing something I had never done before.

The plan was to go to the airport on a scheduled Saturday to undergo an 8-hour training program designed to provide confidence on what I would be doing on the following day. Then on the following Sunday, I would be there for the jump.

Introduction to the course

Finally, the so expected Saturday had come. I was so excited, I couldn’t contain myself in joy! I would be fulfilling a dream and at the same time preparing myself for a new stage in my life.

I arrived a little earlier than the scheduled time. Soon my cousin and another friend of ours got there too. We entered the school’s hangar and started admiring all the activities going on at the same time. Some experts were folding parachutes while others were helping some folks to get ready for their jump. A little later the other people that signed up for the same course showed up and we got directed to a room. There, our instructor started explaining about the school and himself. Right at that moment I felt we were in good hands. Our instructor explained that he had jumped more than 15.000 times already and never an accident had occurred, neither with him nor with a student.

We then proceeded to signing our waivers. Although the equipment was tested and safe and the school had a top-notch reputation, parachute jumping is still a high-risk sport and we had to be aware of this fact.

We then watched a video about the school. It was about an event which happened the previous year and they were involved. The movie showed a large airplane, similar to the military types where there’s a large hatch in the back which opens up to load and unload cargo. While flying, the airplane opened its hatch and instead of cargo, there were people who started to jump off. It looked like a water cascade but full of people. Then we understood the reason, the objective was to form a circle and other geometric forms in mid-air, while they were free falling.

Off course we would not be doing anything like that, at least on the following day. But the video showed what we could eventually do if lots of training were taken.

Parachute folding and exit procedures

We then proceeded to getting to know how a parachute is folded. We were not there to learn the details, but to understand the reason behind everything. The objective of the parachute is to slow down the descent of the jumper, from 190 km/h (118 mph) to 28 km/h (17 mph). Imagine if you’re conducting in a highway at the top speed and suddenly hit the brakes with all your force. If you’re able to keep your car on the road, you’ll feel a massive amount of force trying to hold you back. So, for the parachute not to have the same effect, its folded in a way to open in the slowest possible manner. The backup parachute, on the other hand, is folded so to open as fast as possible.

After lunch we then moved on to simulate the jump itself in an airplane on the ground. They used small airplanes, Cessna 172. But, instead of having all the seats in place, they leave only the pilot’s seat intact and strip all the others off. The reason is to leave enough space to accommodate the instructor and 4 jumpers on the floor of the plane.

The instructor explained to us the procedure for jumping out of the airplane while in movement. While flying, the pilot slows the craft down to about 60 knots (110 km/h or 68 mph). Then the instructor opens the door and one by one moves towards the door. First, you place one foot after the other outside the craft, on top of a pad secured on the upper part of the wheel. Next, you grab the metal part that unites the wings (which are above the aircraft) and the side of the aircraft itself (just like a support in a 45° angle). You then firmly hold it with your both hands. The next step is to let your legs go off the foot support. At this stage, while the plane is flying, you’re literally hanging on the wings. Here my friend, there’s no turning back. Let go and be happy.

When you release your hands from the support, you’re supposed to open your arms and legs trying to form an X with your body. The reason for it is to place your center of gravity right on your belly. So, you keep facing down while the parachute opens above you.

Controlling your decent

Next part of the training was to handle the parachute after its opening. By the way, you don’t get to pull the cord and deploy your own parachute until you reach 10 jumps. So, in this experience, it was explained to us that one end of a static line was going to be attached to the airplane and the other to the deployment bag, so our parachute was going to open automatically right after leaving the craft.

Even though the opening was automatic and instant, we’d have to learn how to control it. And the first thing to do is to untwist your parachute cords.

What? You’re telling me that, when my parachute opens, the cords could be twisted and that I have no control of my brakes until I undo the twists? You heard it right.

You have to apply force on the opposite direction in which the cords are turned, so to undo them. After getting out of that pickle then you’d be able to hold the brakes and control the direction in which you’re flying. The brakes are nothing more than cords that close the back side of the parachute. If you pull the right one, the back-right side of the parachute lowers, slowing it down, making you turn to the right while in flight. The left cord works in the same way. If you pull both cords at the same time, the whole back of the parachute lowers acting like a brake. You do that only a few meters from the ground when you’re landing.

The last part of the training would teach us on how to release the main parachute, if for some reason that got damaged or anything. Then they taught us on how to open the backup parachute. We practiced a lot using a simulator on the ground. After a long day absorbing all that knowledge, I started to understand that skydiving accidents happen when the jumper acquired too much confidence and decided trying to push their own limits. I’m not trying to minimize previous accidents. I respect all those who tried and pushed their limits. Maybe their time here on this life reached their limit too.

I went home that day confident and excited for all the things I have learned. I felt like a kid that had just received a new toy. And that was the problem, I was able to barely sleep that night. My mind would not stop thinking about all the details and procedures. It felt like the day before a big test.

The big day

After a long night trying to relax and rest, I got up, had a nice breakfast and head to the airport with my parents. My grandparents met us there too. Yes, it was a huge family event!

We went to the hangar and I saw the same scene from the previous day, lots of people, each paying attention to their own activity. Our instructor greeted us and went over the last minutes of briefing.

He said some words that got imprinted on my mind and I remember to this very day. And this is the reason I wrote all of this for you to learn it too. He said: “Fear is part of it. If you say to me that you’re not afraid of what you’re about to do, I don’t let you jump! Fear is a natural defense of the human body. Acknowledge it and move on.” I applied those words not only on that day, but to every little action I took in life!

We then moved on to wear the jump suit and prepare to harness the parachute to our body. They checked the altimeter and the radio communication between the ground team and our radio (packed inside the helmet). Goggles on. Ready? Let’s go to the airplane.

What am I doing here?

Our pilot was already inside with the engines on. He had just returned from releasing some jumpers. We got inside the craft and it was decided that I would jump first, since I was the heavier one of the group. So, I was the one staying right next to the door.

The pilot led the craft to the runway and the tower cleared us for takeoff. Everything seemed great. I had 10 hours of flight instruction a few years before and I always loved flying, so I was enjoying every moment. We took off and we were able to see my hometown from above. Beautiful skyline, clear skies and almost no wind.

We were all enjoying the view and having a good time when suddenly the pilot eased the throttle of the airplane and we slowed down. Is it time already? I just started enjoying the trip! Then, the instructor said: “I’m going to open the door, be careful with the wind!”. Those few key seconds passed through my mind and it felt like hours. It was like time had slowed down and we were in slow motion. I thought “hold on, the crew only opens the airplane’s door when we’re in the ground. Why on earth is he opening the door now?” And then, when he lifted the door up, I saw a few miniscule clouds passing by us. Moment of silence… only in my mind… because the craft’s engine was very loud and with the door opened, the wind was hurling. What am I doing here? Whose idea was to sign up for this? Oh yes, it was mine…

Then my instructor directed me to place my feet on the support pad, outside the craft. At that moment, if I had stopped to think for only 2 seconds, I’d have given up. That was the moment of truth. My instructor’s words came to mind, “fear is part of it”. Face it and go on!

That was something I wanted to do my entire life! I was well aware of all the outcomes of my decision. And even then, I was afraid of doing it. Who wouldn’t? At least for the first time.

Without hesitating, I put my legs outside the airplane and grabbed the wings support. I said to myself “if you don’t do this, you’ll regret for the rest of your life, just listen to the instructions and move!”

Hanging on the wing’s support, with my legs lose wobbling behind me, I looked at the instructor and he gave me the OK sign. The words “no turning back at this point” went through my mind. I took a large breath of air and let go.

For a second or two you see the airplane flying away from you and your “safety ground” is gone. On the third second you get a large shake back and forth while the parachute is opening. At this point, you have to wait for it to unfold completely and then it’s time to check the cords. And guess what? I look above and mine were all twisted. I’m glad I had the training. If not, I’d be in panic. I applied everything I went through training and finally got hold of the brake controls.

?Gliding and landing

When you’re in control of your parachute, then you just have to follow the ground support team instructions not to fly to the next town. Other than that, you have about 7 minutes of peace, almost total silence. A sensation of freedom, which is priceless. You’re conducting your own “flying machine” and it’s just awesome. You feel like a bird just gliding through the skies, enjoying its moment.

The support team on the ground kept on guiding me to direct myself to the X marked just outside the airport runway. When you’re almost relaxed and enjoying the moment, it’s time to do the final approach and get ready to pull both cords, the parachute brakes.

I pulled the brakes fractions of a second too late and I couldn’t stand on my feet when I hit the ground. I lost equilibrium and landed on my knees. No worries though, I was already very slow so, I didn’t harm myself. When I touched the ground, the first thing that I thought was, “I want to do this again”. The immense amount of adrenaline that rushes through your body in just overwhelming.

I picked up my parachute and headed towards the hangar to watch my cousin and our friend who jumped right after us. I was proud of myself and glad I took the leap.

Accept and act!

Human beings were designed to settle in the comfort zone. That’s where our brain uses less energy and conserve resources.

On the other side, I believe human beings only evolve when critical times arise. At the moment when we are at the bottom of the pit, when we have no hope left. That’s where our prime survival instinct kicks in and takes control. We access energy from nowhere, get inspiration from the divine and act!

There are other moments in life where you’re faced with a decision to take. Someone you want to say “I love you” but doesn’t know the other person will correspond the feeling. Should you open that business or not? Should you accept an offer and try out the new company?

The world’s most rich people got where they are because they took risks. Do you think they were not afraid to close some deals on investments? Of course they were. It’s part of the game.

In this new time we’re all living in, fear is part of it. Fear of the unknown. It’s natural. Fear is a defense mechanism, it’s ok to be afraid!

But you have to accept this fact and keep moving. Don’t let fear take control. Acknowledge the fact that you’re afraid but say to yourself “I’m going to keep moving, no matter what!”. Things will get better! This is not the first pandemic and will not be the last. Let’s learn to deal with it and keep on moving.

I hope you got inspired with these words. Don’t ever lose faith!

Believe, and it will happen!