Fear

Happy Friday! Can you believe it is already July? We are more than halfway through the year; it can seem like time is flying if you are enjoying yourself. You know the saying, “Time flies when you are having fun". My week has been busy, engaging, and exciting; however, in the evenings this week, I reflected on how I pushed myself recently, from traveling with my son and working in the DEI sector to writing a dissertation. The more I thought about my life accomplishments, lessons, and even failures, the more I wondered why I did not do certain things sooner. The word that came to mind was Fear.

I remember trying out for the cheer team, and I was incredibly nervous out of fear of not making the team. The coach at the beginning of the try-out stated, "Do not say WHEW!" at the end. What did I do? I said it not because I wanted to but because she planted a seed; that was all I could think about with the nervousness. I ruined that first try, but it was a lesson I learned; I had to stop and think even back at the age of sixteen, it does not matter about anyone else, do what makes you happy.

Later in life, I joined Enon Church and wanted to enter the choir. Someone told me no, ma'am, you could not hold a tune in your hand. The thing is, I absolutely LOVE to sing. Can I sing like Whitney Houston or Celine Dion? I think not! But I can match the choir members; I remembered other instances when I let fear drive me, and I used those experiences to do what I wanted. I tried out and was a member for eight years until I left to move to Texas. It was a great experience that gave me such joy; if I operated in fear of rejection, I would have never had that experience. So, I ask you, what are you not doing in your life because of fear? Many refer to fear as false evidence appearing real; no matter how you reference it, you will stifle your life journey if you do not conquer it.

The thing about fear is that it is often not the fear of rejection that bothers us the most. It is fear of success. My mother would always tell me that it is easy to get to the top of anything, but it is harder to stay there. Whatever you want to accomplish think it through, and do it. Remember that there are always consequences and rewards for whatever we do in life, so choose wisely.

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frighten us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You’re playing small does not serve the world.”

― Marianne Williamson

Just like stress, all fear is not bad. Fear can be used for survival and growth if channeled correctly. I want to discuss three types of fears for you to explore:

Rational Fear - occurs when there is a natural, imminent threat, a car speeding towards you; for example, that fear is accurate, and it is best to move out of the way of the vehicle.?

Primal Fear - is defined as an innate fear that is programmed into our brains. This primal fear goes back to the days when we hunted food, and through evolution, we learned to recognize things that can harm or kill us. An example is a person scared of snakes is on higher alert than someone who is not and is less likely to be bitten by one.

Irrational Fear - are fears that may not make logical sense to most people. These fears can vary from person to person based on their experiences. An example is the fear of birds when you may have never been attacked by one.

"Fear is a natural and biological condition we all experience; we must experience fear because it keeps us safe."

-Dr. Sikora

There is no judgment in everyone's fears; today's article highlights fear in your life to seek ways to minimize things that do not serve you. In this life, the goal is to be happy and healthy and make the lives of others better if you can. You cannot do these things if you do not take care of yourself first. I challenge you to write down three of your fears and see if they are rational, primal, or irrational. Work on the ones that you can and face your fears head-on. Again, fear is not always bad; if we did not enjoy facing fears, we would not skydive or ride rollercoasters. Sometimes overcoming fear can feel liberating to some but if possible, manage your daredevil antics so you can live to tell your story.

Enjoy your fourth of July weekend; until next time,

Cheers!