Fear Not
Yesterday I presented in our networking group C4G and talked about how fear stops more people from living their lives to the fullest. After the meeting, quite a few people asked for my notes. I have posted them below and hope they encourage you to take action (massive action as Tony Robbins says).
One of the materials I referenced in my Fear Presentation was a book called Business Boutique by Christy Wright - Chapter 2 - Fear is Normal (overcoming doubt & eliminating excuses) Bad things happen - Someone will embarrass you, or may pull the rug out from under you in a way that you never saw it coming. You may make a bad decision. People will reject you, your ideas, your company, your product or your dream. These type things happen & when they do - it hurts. There is no way around it. These type experiences can prevent you from trying again - but you need to try again anyway. You have to press through & keep going (even when your are hurt or scared). Pushing through failure is the only way we have a chance to reach success.
Quote: Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Suzy Kassem quote: Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.
For some wrestling with fear is a bigger struggle in their business than running the actual business itself. If you want to win with your business you must get comfortable dealing with your fears.
Fear is Normal - Many people miss out on HUGE opportunities not only because they they are scared but because they think they are doing something wrong. The truth is - this can mean the exact opposite. Many people use fear as the reason why they should not start. They say things like I am not ready, I don't have enough experience, my website isn't right, or I have too much competition and on & on the stories go. Sometimes see these type of "fear excuses" as a red flag or sign that they shouldn't do it. This is not always right. Fear is part of the journey. Fear is NOT a sign you are doing something wrong. It is a sign you are doing something NEW. It does not mean you are not capable, qualified or ready. It means you are doing something that matters to you and you don’t want to mess it up. Fear doesn't mean you are doing something wrong - it means you are doing something different & something bold.
Fear holds people back and establishes the limits in your life. The bigger your fear, the smaller your life. If you are scared of heights, you will stay low. If you are scared of the outdoors, you will stay indoors. If you are scared of failure, you will never try anything new. Fear wants you to live a small life, but God NEVER created us or called us to live a small life. He wants us to have life & have it abundantly. The Bible says Fear NOT 365 times - one for each day of the year.
Thoughts that pop up: what if I don’t know what to say? what if no one buys it? what if no one comes to my event? The what if's that pop up are what hold us back.
Joyce Meyer says: New level - New Devil -the moment you conquer the fear of one thing -and try something else - another fear pops up. Fear never goes away completely - you just have to learn to not let fear stop you from doing the things you want to do.
Who are you to do this? Research in the 1970's called Impostor Syndrome. It is when someone feels undeserving of their achievements & is afraid of being found out. 70% of people suffer from this at some point in their lives. Those who suffer from it are the HIGH Achievers - not those who are sitting on their couch all day watching TV & eating Cheetos - they don’t even wonder if they are performing well or up to standard. It is the people who are in the game & out there on the front lines, the movers and shakers that are making a difference who worry about whether or not they deserve to be there.
Everyone gets scared at some point. We tend to think only the super successful people aren't scared & everything is effortless to them but that is not true. They have fears too- they just don't let their fears hold them back. Doing something new is risky and uncomfortable - but the people who win in life & in business are the one's who press on anyway. Once we realize fear is a normal part of life and we don’t have to wait until we are not scared to do the things we want to do we will reach higher levels of success. We just have to learn to do things scared. Just like Nike - Just Do It. (don’t think about it - do it)
Fear of Failure - keeps people from trying new things and before they even put their toes in the water to test something out - fear is already telling them how it won't work. The truth is - we all face road blocks, unexpected setbacks, obstacles, letdowns and disappointments. It is part of life.
Michael Jordan said: I've missed more than 9 thousand shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to make the game winning shot and missed it. I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Failure is not fun but it is actually a good thing. Failure is a sign you are in the game- that you are out there trying and unlike most people you are actually doing something!!
We are not fighting for the people who don't get it - we are fighting for those who will get it (want to get it)- remind yourself who /what you are fighting for.
We want to grow our business, increase our reach, make more of an impact but the reality of that is as we increase our exposure - we also increase the number of haters. It is not personal - it is how things scale out - the more supporters you have the more critics you will also have. Don’t listen to the naysayers (as they do not understand you) and they are not the ones you are fighting for. You are fighting for the ones who need what you have to offer. The more you listen to your calling the more the critics fade away - what you focus on increases.
The voice of fear - taunts you, worries you, confuses you, distracts you and paralyzes you. Most of these things you hear are not true. What starts in our heads (the voice of fear) eventually turns into excuses that keep us from living our dream. Sometimes we are numb to the excuses /stories we tell ourselves because we have listened to them for so long. An excuse is a lie presented as truth.
Lie: You are not good enough Truth: You do not have to be the best to add value
What is good enough anyway? Like failure - good enough is elusive and when we don’t quantify it - we never get there. We don’t know what good enough really is - all we know is that its more than we currently offer. The good news is that you don't have to wait until you feel good enough to start doing something - you don’t have to be the best in the world to add value to someones life. You can start helping people & making a difference everyday - you just have to start by doing something.
Lie: You are not ready Truth: There is no such thing as ready. Do it scared.
If you are waiting until you have the perfect plan to launch your project - you will never launch it. Instead of delayimg until the mythical "ready feeling" arrives just go for it. Put yourself out there - & try something - if you fall - get back up and try it again. You learn & grow by doing - so just go for it -
Lie: Someone is already doing it better Truth: There is room for you
The world is not a place of limits and scarcity. Follow your heart and the dream that nags at you - it is a job only you can do. While others may offer a similar product (or service)- it does not take away from what you are uniquely gifted to offer.
Fear is new each day - we must learn to wrestle it to the ground. Fear is full of hypotheticals - if you launch that business or blog - everyone will make fun of you behind your back. If you put that price on your product everyone will think you are greedy. If you start that business no one will buy your service or product. If you post that video or blog - no one will like it and you will look like a fool and on & on it goes. The best way to stop the voices is to do it. Afterwards, you realize you survived and it was not as bad as fear built it up to be. Give yourself permission to be a beginner - to learn and just keep going. It is easy to look at people that are at the top of their game and assume they just woke up there one day as if their success came overnight. But anyone who has ever accomplished anything in life knows that there is no such thing as an overnight success. No one lands on the mountain top by accident - you had to work to get there.
Zig Ziglar - you don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.
When you allow yourself the opportunity to learn, grow and improve - eventually the years of blood, sweat & tears payoff (& you become an overnight success lol)
Learn to talk to yourself: James Gills - owns multiple businesses with over 400 team members. He has been named the Florida Entrepreneur of the year multiple times and has performed more cataract eye surgeries than anyone else in the world - he has given millions to charities, colleges, & YMCA's across the country. He is the only man in the world to have completed the Double Ironman Triathlon with the 36 hour maximum time frame 6 times! Ironman: 2.4 mile swim, followed by 112 mile bicycle ride, followed by 26.2 mile run. A Double Iron man is when you do it twice in row back to back within 36 hours. He has done this 6 times. When asked how he pressed through his fears - he said: "I've learned to talk to myself rather than listen to myself. When I listen to myself all I hear is fear, doubt, lies and failure but when I talk to myself, I can tell myself anything I want to . I can feed myself good thoughts of hope, confidence, truth and victory. I can tell myself I can do it. When I learned to talk to myself rather than listen to myself I realized that there was nothing I could not do."
You do not have to wait to feel positive, hopeful or confident - you have the power right now to tell yourself anything you want. You can tell yourself you can do it, you wont always be broke, you will start the business and reach your goals & dreams. You do not have to listen to the voices in your head you can talk to yourself instead.
The other side of fear: Anniversary Gift - going to Hawaii & Husband surprised her with gift certificate to North Shore Shark Adventures - to go cage diving with sharks. This was on her bucket list) They drove up to marina & saw the small diving boat like the one in Jaws. There was a rusty cage - with Plexiglas to view sharks. they launched out in the boat and it was surrounded by 20 - 15 ft long sharks - her heart was beating out of chest (she had always wanted to do this but when it came down to actually doing it - she was terrified). Fears of dying crept in and she was sorry she opened her big mouth about wanting to do this. Her entire body was shaking - as they were lowered down into the water in the rusty cage - the cold water took breath away - but once underwater - everything changed - she was surrounded by silence - it was peaceful and breathtaking -and she saw the most beautiful things, her fear faded, her body relaxed and her heart rate slowed as she entered into another world. The sharks swam around them not with rage but with grace. The silence was peaceful and the sharks were not interested in attacking them. She felt like she could have stayed there for hours. This is what happens when we step into our fears. as crazy as it sounds - it is the same as putting ourselves out there in our business.
When you do it anyway (despite being scared) something amazing, beautiful and extraordinary awaits you on the other side of fear. Whether you step on stage, launch the blog, the video, start a business or put yourself out there - it is your decision - It is up to you to get to the other side - don’t wait until you're not scared to do the things you want to do. You will never do them. Instead do it scared. Crush your fears. There is something extraordinary waiting for you on the other side.
Regional Vice President/Executive Partner at Medicareinc.com - President and CEO Bader Consultants
5 年Excellent
Mortgage Loan Branch Manager & Certified Reverse Mortgage Planner CRMP -???? Army Veteran - Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation NMLS69651 Equal Housing Opportunity
5 年(Hee hee ?? on my previous comment) Seriously, this is a nice post with a great message Natalya!
Mortgage Loan Branch Manager & Certified Reverse Mortgage Planner CRMP -???? Army Veteran - Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation NMLS69651 Equal Housing Opportunity
5 年I was going to go to the group to watch you speak but I was afraid! ??
Mortgage Loan Branch Manager & Certified Reverse Mortgage Planner CRMP -???? Army Veteran - Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation NMLS69651 Equal Housing Opportunity
6 年Nicely done Natalya