Fear as a management tool? Is it easier to intimidate employees than making them respect you?
Csaba Toth
Founder of ICQ Global | Measuring and optimising psychological safety, motivational drive and cognitive diversity | ICF Executive Coach | Author | Keynote Speaker | Forbes | HBR |
This was a question that sparkled a big debate at the university where I had a philosophy lecture and the professor was talking about religions...
The whole story started with a statement: "You shall fear the LORD your God; you shall serve Him and cling to Him, and you shall swear by His name."
As I am very inquisitive and I don't really like accepting authority just for the sake of it (yes...very result and achievement-oriented...) I asked him: if God loves us and he is like our father, why do we have to be scared of him? His answer was that people respect the ones they are afraid of...
It is fair to say that I did not agree with this and I made sure he was aware of my opinion. IS THAT TRUE THAT RESPECT EQUALS FEAR?
Definition: "a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements." - No..this one does not mention anything like that...maybe it started earlier?
Origin: "it derives from the Latin 'respecter' which means 'the act of looking back at, with regard". - hmm...no...this is still positive...how about synonyms?
1 admiration, appreciation, approbation, consideration, deference, esteem, estimation, honour, recognition, regard, reverence, veneration
2 aspect, characteristic, detail, facet, feature, matter, particular, point, sense, way
3 bearing, connection, reference, regard, relation
4 (plural) compliments, devoirs, good wishes, greetings, regards, salutations
vb 5 admire, adore, appreciate, defer to, esteem, have a good or high opinion of, honour, look up to, recognize, regard, revere, reverence, set store by, show consideration for, think highly of, value, venerate
6 abide by, adhere to, attend, comply with, follow, heed, honour, notice, obey, observe, pay attention to, regard, show consideration for
Still nothing negative, nothing about fear!
But if I think about leadership styles in different cultures, it kind of makes sense...have you ever worked with a boss who tried to emphasise his/her position by being intimidating and loud saying: " I am the boss! You do it or I sack you!". Maybe your parents: "You do what I am telling you! My house, my rules!" Or maybe the government: "
These examples seem to confirm that we do use FEAR to 'encourage' RESPECT, still, that does not come across in definitions or synonyms...Is it like the elephant in the room? It is there but we don't talk about it?
I have respect for my friends and family because they are good people...I have respect for my colleagues and partners because they are good at what they do...I respect the government if it helps me or at least it does not complicate my life...but if I fear somebody...there is no respect...indeed!
Fear can be used to force somebody to obey...for a certain period, but not to create respect. Do we use FEAR and POWER when we do not have enough skills and quality to build loyalty and respect or it is connected to our basic instincts?
What is your definition of respect? How do you gain respect? What makes you respect someone?
Help to act in complex issues - Intercultural Moderator and Coach
9 年well , again it is a matter of belief / value. personally, I believe that you cannot love one you don't respect
Founder of ICQ Global | Measuring and optimising psychological safety, motivational drive and cognitive diversity | ICF Executive Coach | Author | Keynote Speaker | Forbes | HBR |
9 年I never thought about respect like that...'respect away from'...that means respect is a synonym for fear then? I get the point of being achievement or ascription- oriented and it seems correct that fear is a tool to induce respect in those cultures? Is it not like saying that you love someone for who they are or you can force someone to love somebody? Could love be a synonym for respect? It is something you feel naturally or you do not..? If we have to force it...or pay for it...it is not really love?
Help to act in complex issues - Intercultural Moderator and Coach
9 年Dear Csaba, very intriguing question: what is respect? what makes me respect someone? You said rightly that there are many and different triggers. One basic distinction could be the "direction of the respect. The "respect towards" is recognizing or appreciating a certain achievement or a role model behaviour which is encouraging or inspiring for me who choose to respect. The "respect away from" is avoiding any (bad) consequences or sanctions induced by those who have the power or means and could be willing to do so if they do not feel respected enough by me who is here to respect. The latter is more a collective thing: unwritten rules define what kind of people or roles are to be respected (in what way) in order to avoid blame or sanction from the others. I grew up not to respect anyone unless the person did something to deserve my respect. I traveled well with this concept during my whole education time (school and university). It was in business life that I learned that people expected that I show deference to certain people according to their hierarchy, gender, seniority, social status....in order to be accepted as a (part-time) member of the group/organisation etc. keep on posting your thoughts. they are very inspiring! cheers martina