Is Fear Keeping You Stuck in a Job You No Longer Enjoy?

In a survey I did a while back, 78% of employed women said that fear kept them stuck in jobs they no longer enjoyed. Whilst my survey may not be representative of the total population, I found that figure to be alarmingly high.

A fear of making a career change is a significant factor for many people I come across who feel stuck in their jobs. They stay in roles that they have outgrown or no longer enjoy.

When you have been in a role for a long time, it can be easy to slip into a comfort zone and get stuck. And if you haven’t kept your skills up to date and kept yourself marketable, you may think that you can’t do anything else.

Years ago, I moved into a new team and there was a woman on my team who was miserable in her role. She found it boring and unchallenging, and her self-confidence had gone. I asked her why she didn’t look for something else and she told me that she didn’t think that she was skilled enough to do anything else.

I pointed out to her all her transferrable skills and reminded her of her achievements in the role. This gave her the inspiration and energy to look for something else.

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The dangers of staying in a comfort zone

The dangers of staying in a role that you have outgrown, that no longer challenges you, and that you do not enjoy, can lead to boredom, frustration, stress, and unfulfillment. You may be telling yourself ‘Better the devil that you know than the devil that you don’t know’ as a way of trying to make yourself feel better about staying where you are. You know your role inside out, whereas making that change takes you into the unknown, and that feels scary.

Organisations are in constant change these days, and if you’ve allowed yourself to get stuck in a rut, by staying in your comfort zone, you may be putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Particularly if you have not kept yourself relevant and marketable.

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The fear of the unknown

We like to be in control of our circumstances, and we like to know what is around the corner. When we don’t, fear can kick in and it feels like we have lost our sense of personal control. A fear of failure, imposter syndrome, a fear of success and not being able to maintain it, and fear of ending up without a job and not being able to pay the bills or feed the kids, are just some of the fears that this can evoke.

The fears associated with making a career change can sometimes outweigh the stress and pressure of being demotivated and stuck in a rut in a job you no longer enjoy.

Are you imagining the worst possible outcome?

If fear is driving your reluctance to make a career change, are you imagining the worst possible outcome if you were to change, and worrying about that? When we are contemplating making a significant change in our lives, we often imagine that the worst possible outcome will happen, rather than looking at the best possible outcome. When mitigating the risks of making a decision, whilst it can be good to look at the worst possible scenario and what we could do, it isn’t good to dwell on it and let it debilitate us.

There could be many factors contributing to your fear, which have probably come about because of things that you have experienced over the course of your life. If your parents/carers were risk averse, chances are you will have inherited some of their limiting beliefs.

I once had a client whose organisation was going through a restructure and her role was being made redundant. As a mature woman who was a few years short of retirement, family and friends told her that because of her age, she wouldn’t get another job.

We often absorb the fears of other people, letting them consume us and fuel any fears that we may hold ourselves. As was the case with this client. However, I got her to look back at the skills and experience that she had gained over the years, and she recognised that she had a lot to offer. Plus, if an organisation did not want her to work there because of her age, she wouldn’t want to work there either.

With this newfound belief in herself, she secured an interview and whilst unsuccessful, she came second and was put on the reserve list. This gave her a massive confidence boost and with the second interview she had, she got the job.

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What happens if you do nothing?

If you don’t do anything and stay as you are, how do you think you will feel a year from now? How do you think you will feel 2, 3… 5 years from now?? If you feel unchallenged, demotivated, frustrated, and stressed now, how do you think you will feel further down the line?

There’s a lot to think about when making a career change, and it can feel overwhelming. Particularly if you don’t have a clue about what it is that you want to do. Not knowing where to start or how to begin, can keep you from doing anything at all.

Rather than being overwhelmed by the enormity of making a transition, create a plan and break down what you need to do into manageable steps.

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Get clear about what you want to do next

If you don’t know what you want to do, get clear about what it is that you want. What skills do you have? What are your strengths? What do you enjoy doing? What role would enable you to utilise these?

Take in to consideration your values because it is important that we do so when we are making such decisions about our careers. Doing work that goes against your values will make you feel as if you have compromised yourself, not to mention that it will be unfulfilling.

Don’t just think about your values, think about the values of the kind of organisations that you would like to work in and whether their values align with yours. Research these organisations and see whether the values they display on their website are actually the lived experience of their employees. Websites such as Glassdoor can help with this.

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What are those fears really about?

If you’re not sure about what you want to do, knowing what you want and the kind of organisations you want to work in, helps to make some of that unknown known, leaving you to address your fears about what if…

When you think about making that change, what is it that causes you to feel anxious? What do you think will happen? Identify what you think and believe is going to happen if you make that change. We often imagine the worst possible outcome, and because we fear the worst, that makes us anxious. This anxiety is likely to stop you from taking the action needed for you to make the career change.

Is it a fear of rejection, fear of getting turned down? Are you worried that if you make the change you won’t like it? Or are you worried that you will get the role you want, but think that after you start, you will get found out that you’re not good enough for it after all?

Identify what your belief is about what will happen and ask yourself how rational it is. ?

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If the worst was to happen, what could you do?

We are all incredibly resourceful, and when our backs are against the wall, we find ways in which we can adapt. If your beliefs were to come true, what could you do? Put things into perspective, and by doing so, it will make it easier for you to see solutions for what you could do if the worst were to happen. We can spend a lot of time worrying and fretting about the worst possible outcome, but the reality is, often the worst possible outcome doesn’t even happen.

Reflect back over your career and life, what changes have you made in the past that you were initially fearful of making but went ahead anyway? What did you do to overcome those fears back then? What support did you get that enabled you to get through it? What can you draw on from your previous experience and apply to your situation now?

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Visualise what it would be like if the best possible outcome were to happen

You have probably spent hours worrying about the worst possible outcome but haven’t even considered what the best possible outcome is. What is the best that could happen if you make a career change?

What difference will it make to you and how will you feel?

Shift your focus to looking at the possibilities and the opportunities because that is where you will find the solutions. This does not mean totally disregarding your fears. Rationalise your fears so that they have less of a hold on you. By being solution-focused and adopting an optimistic approach, you open your mind to the possibilities and to taking action to make it happen.

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If you want to make a career change, don’t let the fear of change hold you back. Find a way to address those fears, you will be far better for it in the long run.

Have you overcome a fear of making a career change?? If so, what did you do to overcome it?? I would love to know so please share in the comments below. And by sharing your experience, you may encourage someone else.

Please note, I will be taking a break in September so there will be no newsletter or podcast for the next few weeks.

If you missed my LinkedIn live this week about how to define your natural leadership style and know when and how to adapt for introverted women, you can watch the replay here. This is for you whether you are a seasoned executive leader or just starting on your leadership journey and will help you to identify how to transform your leadership abilities and become a dynamic, influential leader who confidently thrives in any environment.

Many leaders shy away from difficult conversations because they dislike confrontation. However not having them when needed can lead to problems further down the line. In this episode of the podcast I talk about why we don't like them and how to have confronting conversations.

About Me

I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach specialising in introverted women who are senior leaders. Through my work, I have helped 1000s of women across the globe to increase their confidence, influence and impact as leaders, and overcome imposter syndrome, increase their executive presence, improve speaking performance in meetings, get a promotion, and much more.

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment?here.?