Fear – Imagination or Reality?

What if I don’t achieve my target, I may lose my job

I don’t want to experiment, if I fail, I can be out of business.

I don’t want to ride this, as if boat sink, I will sink along.

I don’t want to go to this jungle trail if there could be wild animal and can attack.

I don’t like to see below from a high rise, as I may fall from the top.

I fear darkness, as there may be a ghost.

I may fail exams. Spider or lizards are poisonous etc.

Did you ever experience any of this in your lifetime? Yes, most of us had it and many of us are still living with this.

A Personal Life Experience of Fear -

Let me begin with a real-life story, It was an early winter morning this December 2022. I got up early in the morning around 5 AM. I decided to go for a local hill & forest trek in Thane (City of Maharashtra where in live). It was around 5.30 AM when I reached the base of the hill trail, from where the trek started. OMG, it was still a dense dark and no one else was there to start except me.

Despite being in my forties, all the childhood stories and horror movies flashed in my mind. My mind was full of all the fearful thoughts and imaginations about the darkness. To be honest, the first thought came to my mind to either wait till sun rises to begin the trek. It was a fear of darkness which has been fed in mind since childhood, especially unknown places. This fear has superseded everything in my mind.

A lot of strange negative assumptions didn’t let me think to begin this this trek immediately, which I do normally, as most of the days I start my trek around 7 AM. Almost 10 minutes passed, it was still dark and there as no signal of Sun rise at least for next half an hour more. Then I pushed myself and decided to start walking. I made up my mind to experiment with this fear of darkness which was in existence in mind since childhood. I lit the mobile torch and started to trek in the same darkness. I was walking on the Pag Dandi (track). There was still a hell of a lot of fears moving in my mind with respect to noise coming from trees and bushes. There was so dark that I could not see anything beyond 5 meters. Walking all alone, with fearful thoughts on one side but a lot of pride and confidence on other side about killing my fearful imagination about darkness.

Suddenly, I saw a white human shape object moving ahead of me around 8 – 10 meters on the same track, I stopped in fear as we saw in movies, that all the Ghost & souls wear white dresses. That object was walking much faster like a normal human being. I reencouraged myself that nothing would happen. I started walking again this time a little faster, once again after 5 min saw the same object type walking ahead of me. With some chanting of mantras (Indian most of the time chant Hanuman Chalisa in such events). I continued to walk and after a few minutes the early lights of dawn started setting in and I realized it was a local tribe who stays there on the hill and was going to his home. I laughed at myself about a lot of imagination and wild thoughts about the same. My confidence multiplied with this realization and now I was walking faster and wanted to reach the top of the hill as early as possible. In the next 10 min, I was on the top of the trek mountain and experienced the wonderful Sunrise.

Why did I narrate this story? It was an eye opener for me and a lesson for a word called FEAR.

My realization -

I realized that Fear is not a real thing but an imagination or assumptions about something which may not exist. This imagination would not let us explore anything but to stay in same comfort zone of assumptions. If I had cancelled my plan after seeing the morning darkness, my fear of darkness and wildness around it would have stayed with me lifelong.

Decoding Fear -

Let’s see what are the fears which we have in our lives. Make a list and see if they are real or just wild imaginations like me.

Some of the common fears which we experience in personal lives are of darkness, existence of ghost or evils, Fear of dying, exams failure, water, rodents etc. if we see our professional lives, the list is equally big like fear of loosing job, missing targets, customer anger etc. Fear of ocean, fire, roller coaster and list continue.

In a lay man language, it is our survival response. Fear is experienced in the mind but it triggers a physical response in our body. As soon as we recognize fear, our Amygdala (small organ in the middle of your brain) goes to work. It alerts our nervous system, and alert our body to respond. Many hormones like, Dopamine, cortisol and adrenaline are released. Our blood pressure and heart rate increase. We start breathing faster. Even our?blood flow actually flows away from our heart and into your limbs, making it easier for us to respond faster like running or walking or fighting for life in those moments.

Many of us must have experienced such episodes when we take a roller – coaster ride or scuba diving or sky diving or walking in dark or staying alone at night. It is also seen as something which we are fearful about but others get excited about it. It is the science of those hormones that make excitement. When dopamine or cortisol is released, it also offers excitement even after the event is over. That’s why the same roller coaster or darkness excites some but scares many.

There is a saying “ Too many of us are not living our Dreams, because we living our Fears”. Fear is not bad until it holds you back from exploring anything. I have seen many peers or friends in professional don’t explore or attempt innovation, as they fear failure. Recently, on a friendly dinner with some old friends of mine. One of my friends shared his idea which was really a unique one, but when I asked him to sow the seeds of his idea and start his entrepreneur journey. He expressed fear of failure, he is a very successful professional in his career and a consistent performer in good or bad time of organization, yet his fear of failure is not letting him take the decision. Most of us don’t take tough decisions, in fear of failure or negative assumptions.

Why it is important to overcome Fear?

Most of us want to do many things in life and we don’t do as we feared of something which may not be true. It is actually an imagination which has not yet happened, but our mind creates the so-called Chemical locha (chemical reactions) which won’t let your body react.

Many people want to do scuba diving and swimming but fear of ocean & water won’t let them do it. Many want to do sports in the later part of life, or do running, or gym but they are scared of getting injured wound not let them do it. Many time the same fear in work holds us back to take any bold decision. While the same is taken by some other one and get success, then we as individual feel bad or repent about not being bold enough to take risk.

Conclusion

In the end, I would like to conclude by saying that I used to get scared of the darkness and till I didn’t walk in the dark or spend time in darkness alone, this fear would have remained like this.

My learning in life with fear is to face it. most of the time Fear is mere emotions or imagination of mind which is not a reality. Let’s dive in the ocean to see what a wonderful world it is down under the water, if you fear, you will always see others doing it and keep thinking of someday you will do it.

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it. That is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. It is also told that “ Do one thing every week that scares you”’

Thank you for sparing time and reading it. Looking forward to listening from you, if you have any suggestions.

#fear #lifelessons #leadership #hobby #passion #anandagarwal #leadershipcoach

Anand Agarwal

www.dhirubhai.net/in/anandagarwal-leadership

Anand Agarwal

Sales and Marketing professional with leadership experience of more than 20 years. I love Reading, Writing, Travelling and Interacting with People. All views are in my personal capacity, and I don’t endorse any individual or community.?