Fear or Hope: My biggest lockdown learning!
Priti Agarwal
Regional Mentor, Road Safety @ Young Indians CII / Founder, The Catalyst
Are you made for fear or are you made for hope?
What happens when your chips are down? What is your ‘self-talk’ or your internal narrative?
What is your first response to most adversities? Consider the following two responses and tell me which one speaks to you more -
Response type 1:
a. Contain your emotions – maintain a calm and stoic stature
b. Rationalise your fears and feelings
c. Create an optimistic outlook of the future
d. Feel upbeat and confident
Response type 2:
a. Express your emotions (sometimes in an impassioned manner)
b. Become vigilant to threats, fears amplify and may become overwhelming
c. Create a cautious outlook of the future
d. Feel uncertain and tentative
I belong to the first category and the popular narrative so far has been that this is the more ‘emotionally intelligent’ response. But I am beginning to wonder if the traditional view of emotional intelligence is actually a little narrow sighted.
I went through the Lumina Spark Emotions certification recently and got thinking about how my preferred response type 1 at times made me overbearing, unrealistic and short-sighted; and how sometimes people with response type 2 have actually come to my rescue and helped me draw up contingency plans, plan in detail and for the mid and long term and helped me express my fears and show my vulnerability.
It’s time we removed our conditioned lenses and start having a more holistic view of our relationship with hope and fear. In our society, hope is a hyped emotion and sometimes force-fitted into every reality. The truth is that we can only use hope to empower us when we are ready to feel hopeful. And we aren’t ready to feel hopeful till the time that we admit to our fears, seek out and feel our vulnerabilities, give uncertainties the respect that is due to them and get comfortable with being afloat. Fear has its place in our lives and in a lot of ways helps us stay sane and survive. As my 13 year old son told me yesterday, ‘Fear is what has helped the human race survive for so long mom!’. Wisdom indeed!
Managing Director - ISCP Coaching, ICF Certified - ACC/PCC Coach, Executive/Career Transition Coach, Storytelling Coach, Ex- Board Member - ICF HK, Facilitator & Mentor
4 年Fantastic revelation indeed, fully agree with you! Have also learnt- sharing talking helps in many different ways. To connect, learn from others, stay stress free and more
India Partner at Lumina Learning
4 年Topics couldn't have been more timely Priti Agarwal #imagination is perhaps one of the most defining qualities of being human. Combined with #hope it becomes a #vision. Imagine with #despair instead and we get #fear and #dread. #resilience is the key ingredient needed today. We all have it and it activates when we face crisis. Resilience is what we need to reclaim #equilibrium. What we define as #crisis and what inner motivation we draw on to begin our #journeytocomposure is defined by our personality. My low #conscientious blue scores on #Luminaspark profile cause lack of structure and shape my crises. My high score on #empowering green can also stretch me emotionally if overdone. I pull my optimism up by using my #inspiring yellow to create work arounds and regain my breath. Fear is that looming cloud. Even though we know clouds are empty- the big black ones are scary. For me the only way, when I can muster the courage, is through it. Neha Bansal Mehak Aneja Vohra Gourav Anthony Das
CMO @ Pronnel | Growth Strategy, CX
4 年Priti, that's an amazing perspective. As I grow older, and hopefully a little bit wiser, I have started being more comfortable with ambiguities. Holding dual ideas, without being judgemental. Because ultimately we can operate only when we are ready to believe, and let me say hope. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully.