Is fear holding you back?

You can conquer any fear if you will make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear does not exist anywhere except in the mind – Dale Carnegie

Last week, I was visiting the Statue of Unity with my family and was amazed to know that the statue is twice as tall as the statue of liberty in New York. There are many other attractions nearby, one of them being a visit to the Sahajanand Universe created in the campus of the Swaminarayan Temple. Within the universe, they have created a scary ghost tunnel. ?

My grandson, Dhrish, who is 8 years old, when he saw that it was a ghost tunnel, refused to come with me. He was scared and the fear of ghosts was evident on his face. I explained that these ghosts were not real but he was not willing to listen. Somehow I managed to convince him to tightly hold on to me as we pass the tunnel. As we entered, we could hear scary sounds and see the ghosts.

As we were walking through, I told Dhrish, who was holding on to me tightly, to just keep on saying loudly” I can do it, I can do it” He started saying this loudly and slowly his grip on me loosened till the time that he just held my hand and finally left my hand and was now walking on his own looking all around. I could see a sense of accomplishment & confidence of his face as we stepped out.

As Dhrish’ s mother was elsewhere, he went and told here,” Come Mom, I will take you through a ghost tunnel, don’t be scared, just hold my hand, keep saying I can do it, I can do it and we easily pass through the ghost tunnel” and took her across.

Many of us experience fear when we try something new, when we are faced with a challenging situation, when we venture in the unknown, when we try to step out of our comfort zone, when we are entering into a new relationship or when we set stretched targets for ourselves.

Why do we experience fear at such times?

We have a reactive part of our brain which scans for danger & acts accordingly. We also have a smart part of our brain which enables us to think rationally, decide and act accordingly. ?

The reactive brain is stimulated the moment it senses danger.

1.????The danger could be really present in front of us, for e.g., as we are crossing the road and as soon as we see a speeding car coming towards us, our reactive brain is stimulated prompting us to take action and run so that we can avoid an accident from happening. As soon as we have taken the action, the reactive brain is downregulated, and we are back to normal.

2.????The danger could be imaginary. For e.g.?In the example above, Dhrish had no idea what would actually be in the ghost tunnel but based on his imagination, he was scared to enter the tunnel. Here again, as soon as there was a perceived danger, the reactive brain was stimulated due to which he refused to enter the tunnel. It remained in a stimulated state as he held me while we were passing through the tunnel. The moment he started saying, “I can do it, I can do it” slowly, his smart brain took over, downregulated his reactive brain which tamed his wandering mind, bypassed his imagination, brought him back to the present moment, assured him that he can do It and gave him the confidence to leave my hand and pass the tunnel. His newly formed confidence also made him accompany his mother through the tunnel.

The consequence of this was that even as a child, Dhrish has now learnt that whenever he faces any such imaginary fear, he needs to say” I can do it, I can do it” which will downregulate his reactive brain, manage his wandering mind and give him the confidence to face the fear and overcome the same.

Doing this a few times will train his brain to manage similar situations in this manner. Eventually this becomes a habit. He managed to gain victory over his fear. This will be useful to him in all the walks of his life. ?

Likewise, if an 8-year-old child can conquer his fear, we all can also train our brain and gain victory over our fears. When we do so, unlimited possibilities will open up for us leading to success both professionally and personally.

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