Fear Failure? Good. Fear Success Too.

There is a popular misconception that high-power executives and wealthy entrepreneurs are naturally fearless creatures, who throw caution to the wind and defiantly?mock failure. While there are business leaders who have an uncanny ability to stomach risk, looking closer, it becomes evident that most hyper-successful people have a unique pair of fears. Counterintuitively, when combined in the right quantity and with enough intensity, these fears work synergistically, propelling an individual towards their ultimate expression of excellence.

I have these fears. They have governed most of my life. Before I was able to properly identify them, they languished in the recesses of my being, latently influencing my choices, tipping the scale back and forth. Healthy portions of disappointment and self-doubt allowed me to identify these fears. I needed maturity and retrospection to understand their role in my life, and it took both faith and courage to finally face them. But considering the vital role these fears have played in my own reconstruction, I understand they are cornerstones in the very foundation of achieving greatness. It is for this reason, I call them “The Fundamental Fears.”

The Fundamental Fears

There are two “fundamental fears.”

1. The fear of failure.
2. The fear of not becoming successful.

At first blush, The Fundamental Fears appear to be the same phenomenon, viewed from two different angles. And while they are certainly related and work in tandem to shape one’s future, they are not the same entity at all. In fact, understanding the dichotomous nature of The Fundamental Fears is key to achieving greatness.

Achieving Greatness

Achieving greatness is living the highest manifestation of your soul’s true purpose or becoming the “most you.” Personal greatness is revealed through the maximum expression of your unique passions, talents, and values.

The “highest manifestation” goes far beyond money and power, the main ingredients in traditional recipes for success. This “maximum expression” supersedes exposure and access, the fraternal twins of fame. For while the exhausting pursuit of wealth leaves many feeling unsatisfied, true greatness cannot be separated from personal fulfillment. When the road to success requires you to abandon your natural aptitudes, the ideas that excite you, or your deeply held beliefs, you lose your very self. Greatness, however, requires you to find yourself, your voice, and your place. Greatness demands that you use your passions, talents, and values to create cumulative wealth for others, rather than extracting capital solely for personal gain.

Instead of myopically chasing success for money and power alone, greatness pursues achievement for authenticity and impact. In short, the optimal attitude towards wealth and recognition is as one result of achieving greatness, and never the cause of pursuing it in the first place.

The Problem With Passion

Virtually all ambitious people yearn for greatness; however, many report feeling paralyzed when they are not convinced of what they need to do to become the highest expression of themselves. They feel trapped, lamenting that if they knew precisely what to do, or specifically where to place their effort, they would enthusiastically do so. Frustrated, they admit this lack of direction creates emotional quicksand and an inability to move in any direction.

Frequently, this personal or professional gridlock is attributed to a need to “find my passion,” a phrase suggesting that only a soul-quenching sip from the hidden well of divine passion could provide the energy and inspiration for forward progress. While this may be true for some, it is a rare and elusive wonder and is, at best, a nebulous way to proceed. The truth, revealed by psychologist Orval Hobart Mowrer, is that it is far easier to “act your way into feeling” than it is to “feel your way into acting.”

Yes, passion is imperative to becoming your best self; however, passion is not an end in itself. Remember, achieving greatness is defined by the highest expression of your passions, talents, and values. The “highest expression” is realized by your actions and shaped by your choices. So the essential primary question is not: “How do I find my passion so I know what to do to reach my potential?” But rather, “What should I do right now to honor my unique mosaic of passions and leverage my natural aptitudes in a way that is consistent with my highest values?”

The Importance of Action

Action is more important than feeling. Action is more important than knowing where to go or how to get there. The first lesson of The Fundamental Fears is the importance of action to achieving greatness.

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Figure 1: The Fundamental Fears graph

Figure 1 introduces a graph that explains the empowering nature of The Fundamental Fears. The horizontal axis displays the fear of failure and the fear of not becoming successful is along the vertical axis. For simplicity there are three points labeled on each axis: (1) Low, (2) Medium, and (3) High. These points demonstrate the degree or intensity of fear that an individual experiences for each of The Fundamental Fears.

Oftentimes, when an unfamiliar path or risky opportunity arises, even determined individuals are hesitant to move forward. The fear of failure prevents action. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the feeling of not being where you want to be in life is a powerful motivator to try something new and unfamiliar. The fear of not being successful promotes action.

Figure 2: The Fundamental Fears graph expanded

Graphing this phenomenon is easily achieved by inserting a line along which the fear of failure is exactly equal to the fear of not becoming successful (Figure 2). This “limbo line” represents a state of paralysis as the desire to move forward, produced by the fear of not becoming successful, is stymied by an inability to advance, a product of the fear of failure.

Figure 3: The Fundamental Fears “Action” vs. “Inaction” zones

Thus, whenever the fear of failure is greater than the fear of not becoming successful, you are in the “inaction” zone, and when your fear of not becoming successful is greater than your fear of failure, you are in “action” mode (Figure 3).

Achieving greatness requires a high quantity of quality actions. Clearly then, the objective is to make choices where your apprehension of failure is lower than your anticipation of success.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

With the action area identified, the question now becomes: Which actions provide the straightest path to achieving greatness? Or, how do you choose between various options that all seem promising, but are mutually exclusive? The answer is found in the interesting relationship between comfort and discomfort.

Comfort vs. Discomfort

Discerning the optimal actions for achieving greatness is accomplished by understanding the dual need to be both 100% comfortable with every decision you make while being completely uncomfortable with the way in which you operate. Within this curious contradiction lies the second lesson of The Fundamental Fears. Achieving greatness requires existing concurrently in both a state of peace and constant agitation.

“Act only on that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law.” - Immanuel Kant

Before embarking on a new opportunity or committing to any course of action, mindfully consider the spiritual outcomes in the event of pure success and utter failure alike. Far from a religious or exclusively moral exercise, considering the net energy created or destroyed by your actions is quintessential to achieving greatness. This is not an external measure of right and wrong, but rather, a personal audit of your own worldview and what you believe ought to be. Achieving greatness requires impeccable chemistry between your mind, body, and soul. This is feasible only when your actions are perfectly aligned with your deepest held beliefs and the existential essence of who you are.

Always act in total balance with your principles at a metaphysical level. No one but you gets to define your values, so be clear about them and never deviate from them. There is no version of achieving greatness that acquiesces to the beliefs of someone else.

“What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?” - Mark 8:36 (MSG)

Discomfort vs. Comfort

Achieving greatness requires growth. Growth takes place outside of your comfort zone. Crucial then is a deeper understanding of the comfort vs. discomfort phenomenon. For while spiritual contentment frames all forms of personal excellence, actions employed towards achieving greatness should be as uncomfortable as possible.

“Growth and comfort do not coexist.”?- Ginni Rometty, CEO, IBM

Using the graph presented earlier, we now map various zones, maintaining that actions instrumental to achieving greatness should exist outside of your comfort zone and, even better still, inside of your discomfort zone (Figure 4).

Figure 4: Comfort vs. discomfort zones

This idea is not foreign to ambitious people; most agree that growth requires tackling tough challenges. In practice, however, the fear of failure discourages them from choosing actions where they may experience significant pain, loss, criticism, or embarrassment.

But while fear is a natural reaction to the unknown, it is also a conditioned response to the uncomfortable. The Fundamental Fears expose the myth of failure, empowering you to push beyond the perception of today and move towards the promise of tomorrow.

The Myth of Failure

The primary fear of failure is indeed an aversion to potential pain, loss, criticism, or embarrassment. Additionally, common views of achievement envision a road in which one direction leads to success, and the opposite direction leads to failure. The fear of failure, in this instance, results from a desire to travel the road to success, unencumbered by failures, which are understood to be steps in the wrong direction. Despite popular lore, failure and success do not share this polar relationship. The myth of failure is the misguided belief that failure is the opposite of success.

The Reality of Failure

In actuality, there are two basic types of failure, destructive and constructive. While constructive failures aid in achieving greatness, destructive failures should be avoided at all costs. There are different manifestations of destructive failures, but they tend to fit in three categories:

1. Placing time and energy into endeavors that are inherently, or by result, incompatible with your highest values.
2. Only attempting opportunities that are certain to succeed.
3. Any choice in which external constraints are used to justify inaction.

On the contrary, constructive failure happens through endeavors that are congruent with your highest values and, hopefully, inside your action discomfort zone.

Achieving greatness is assisted by constructive failure and impeded by destructive failure; however, there is one type of failure that eradicates all attempts to reach your highest expression of excellence: falling down and not getting back up - this is called “true failure.”

True failure is not discrete or situational. Ideas fail, businesses fail, and ventures fail. But people do not fail by assessing the negative result of an activity or attempt. People fail by letting their setbacks define them. They fail by not learning from losses. People fail by not getting up after being knocked down. True failure then is not an adversary or an accident, but rather a decision, a personal choice to stay down after a fall.

The Necessity of Failure

There are two components to the “true failure” maxim: (1) falling down and (2) getting up. Many understand the importance of getting up, yet ignore the need to fall.

Recall that the primary anxiety with failure was the fear of pain, loss, criticism, or embarrassment. The fallacy of falling down is that you will irreversibly experience these negative misfortunes and lose part of yourself, but the reality is quite different. In falling you:

1. Lose your ego, the negative side of pride that leads to arrogance and shortsightedness.
2. Lose the disillusionment that comes from inexperience.
3. Lose an?overinflated and unfounded fear of the unknown.

We are all of us not merely liable to fear, we are also prone to be afraid of being afraid, and the conquering of fear produces exhilaration… The contrast between the previous apprehension and the present relief promotes a self-confidence that is the very father and mother of courage. – J T MacCurdy

Conversely, in the process of getting back up after a failure you:

1. Gain confidence that comes from surviving a tough setback.
2. Gain resiliency, which occurs from overcoming a personal loss.
3. Gain courage to boldly attack new challenges in the future.

“Courage is what you earn when you’ve been through tough times and you discover that they aren’t so tough after all.” – Malcolm Gladwell

You will experience significant loss in failed personal ventures. That is a fact. But when you choose to get back up, those failures actually build your path to achieving greatness. Everything you truly lose in failure impedes the path towards personal excellence anyway, and everything you gain in getting back up is necessary to successfully achieving greatness.

Understanding the reality of failure provides invaluable knowledge and actionable insights; however, the benefits do not end there. Accepting the necessity of failure also reveals numerous opportunities.

The Opportunities of Failure

1. The ability to frame failure as noble and necessary.

There is no shame in constructive failure; it is honorable and essential to achieving greatness. Moreover, getting up and recalibrating your future actions with your values overcomes even destructive failure. This change in perception mentally repositions many scary situations into attractive opportunities.

2. A vanguard attitude that insulates you against despair.

When you invest time, effort, and emotion in an opportunity that does not live up to expectations, disappointment will always follow. In realizing the opportunity of failure, however, you will neither lose hope nor the excitement that comes from eagerly anticipating your next challenge.

3. A fervent desire to operate beyond your present comfort zone.

Comprehending the role of failure in achieving greatness, coupled with the imperative of acting beyond your present comfort zone, quite literally allows you to become comfortable with productive discomfort – a formidable paradigm shift.

4. Unwavering focus on the quality of effort and quantity of action.

When trying to avoid failure, focus shifts from the means to the ends, with the latter used to justify the former. Learning that failure provides opportunity allows you to evaluate your goals by how hard you push yourself before you fail, what you learn from the experience, and how quickly you regroup. Concurrently, your output of activity, also vital to achieving greatness, increases as you spend less time wallowing in self-doubt.

5. Space and time to take stock.

Failure is a much better teacher than success. The short span between setbacks and beginning your next challenge provides crucial space and time to evaluate, learn, and grow.

6. The tools necessary to construct excellence.

In the process of recovering from failure, you develop grit, resiliency, tenacity, and wisdom, the very inputs necessary to achieve greatness.

7. The replacement of naiveté with informed optimism.

Blind faith is fool-hearted and beguiling, but informed optimism is a powerful force in achieving greatness. Becoming comfortable with the worst possible downside risk allows you to focus on the upside. Your refined positivity is rooted in realism, rather than naive optimism.

“In this world, the optimists have it, not because they are always right, but because they are positive. Even when wrong, they are positive, and that is the way of achievement, correction, improvement, and success. Educated, eyes-open optimism pays...?The one lesson that emerges is the need to keep trying.” – David S. Landes

8. The redefinition of success as a journey, rather than a destination.

Achieving greatness is a process filled with both high highs and low lows. Understanding the role of failure in achieving greatness magnifies the importance of each incremental choice and adds perspective to each substantial undertaking.

9. Psychological safety.

Viewing failure as catastrophic compromises the mindset critical to achieving greatness, one that views failures as essential milestones on the road towards your best self. This psychological shift removes the crippling fear of failure and replaces it with the opportunity for growth.

10. Unlimited fresh starts without ever starting over.

Continued participation in destructive failure is often the innocuous result of believing you have come too far to turn back now. Understanding the nature of failure implores you to constantly evaluate the cumulative effect of every action internally, externally, and ultimately. Becoming sensitive to the quality of your energy outputs, coupled with the knowledge of their influence on achieving greatness, empowers you to immediately halt all suboptimal behaviors, with the full knowledge that mindful, real-time course corrections speeds the journey towards your personal best.

Lessons from the Fundamental Fears

Your cumulative decisions determine whether you will achieve greatness; it is a personal journey requiring myriads of carefully considered actions, plus an understanding and acceptance of both fear and failure. The third lesson of The Fundamental Fears identifies the “sweet spot”, an area where the high fear of failure, an even higher fear of not succeeding, and significant action discomfort optimally converge towards achieving greatness. Evaluating your incremental daily choices against these guidelines is more than just prudent; it is paramount.

Figure 5: The Fundamental Fears “Action” vs. “Inaction” zones and comfort vs. discomfort zones redux

Elucidated beforehand were graphs of the action and inaction zones, plus the comfort and discomfort zones (Figure 5). Recall that the action zone contained any instance where the fear of not becoming successful was greater than the fear of failure. Furthermore, personal growth, vital to achieving greatness, was identified as taking place within the action discomfort zone.

Figure 6: The Fundamental Fears “Action” vs. “Inaction” zones and comfort vs. discomfort zones combined

Overlaying these two graphs provides a profound illustration of the mindset that should preclude all actions undertaken to achieve greatness (Figure 6). Of particular interest is the area that combines all of the teachings from The Fundamental Fears. Figure 7 magnifies?this area where (1) both the fear of failure and the fear of not succeeding are high, (2) all points are inside the discomfort zone, and (3) the area is within the action zone.

Figure 7 has three points labeled for consideration, points A, B and C. While quick observation immediately disqualifies points A and C, as they lay on the line where paralysis occurs, there are two key ideas clarified through these points.

Figure 7: Identifying points within the region where the fear of not becoming successful is greater than the fear of failure within the action discomfort zone

Examine point A and note that it is right on the border of the region in which your actions are stretching you versus being truly uncomfortable. Quite simply, actions at point A are not challenging enough. Point C splits the sections of the discomfort zone and the crisis zone. Unlike the challenges from being uncomfortable, operating in crisis mode diminishes your effectiveness, compromises your health, and takes your focus off the bigger picture of living a life of excellence. The Fundamental Fears provide a unique look at action, fear, and failure to explain their beneficial role in achieving greatness and to remove trepidation associated with the unfamiliar. In the crisis zone, however, you are living in fear, thus, critically susceptible to the destructive failures that derail your journey towards achieving greatness. Vital then is a point still in the action zone and squarely inside the discomfort zone.

Point B satisfies the initial criteria, but raises an important fact. While the fear of not succeeding must be higher than the fear of failure for action to occur, when the fear of not succeeding is significantly higher than the fear of failure, a new problem arises: the potential for irresponsible behavior. The role of failure in achieving greatness should never be used as justification for acting recklessly or taking on foolish risk, which is exactly what happens when the fear of not succeeding is much higher than the fear of failure. There is desperation to situations in which we feel like we have nothing to lose, and when this takes place in your discomfort zone, it is a dangerous state indeed.

Figure 8 adds region D to our graph, a circle where you are wholly in action mode, a place where discomfort in action is significant, without being destructive, and a halo where the life-changing properties of The Fundamental Fears guide each of your incremental choices. This is the sweet spot.

Figure 8: Identifying the sweet spot within the region where the fear of not becoming successful is greater than the fear of failure within the action discomfort zone

Indeed the beauty of life is found through the lessons of the past, the mystery of the future, and the gift of the present. With the reality of constant change, consistently operating inside of this premium sphere is a daily challenge, but as with the best challenges, it will consistently provide amazing opportunities and many happy returns. Along these lines, when selecting a course of action, first consult your highest values and then choose actions that are as uncomfortable as possible in demanding situations where you truly worry about failure.

“Always work on hard problems. Writing novels is hard. Reading novels isn't. Hard means worry: if you're not worrying that something you're making will come out badly, or that you won't be able to understand something, then it isn't hard enough.” – Paul Graham

Achieve Greatness

The Fundamental Fears are not a graphical presentation, an intellectual exercise, or a cautionary tale. No. They are a timely encouragement, a personal road map, and a sagacious guide to achieving greatness. The Fundamental Fears allow you to embrace fear, understand failure, and consistently choose the finest actions. Indeed, achieving greatness requires a complete reformulation of the perceived nature of both success and failure. Failure is not an unfortunate or unexpected conclusion to a promising endeavor; it is truly essential to achieving greatness. Understanding and embracing the lessons of The Fundamental Fears reveals seven absolute truths to achieving greatness.

1. Achieving greatness depends on you alone.

You will never be in complete control of what happens to you in life; however, you are always fully in control of the way in which you respond to what happens in your life. This freedom to choose your actions, both proactively and reactively, in any given set of circumstances provides the foundation for your personal best. Life presents you with choices every day, and an important facet to achieving greatness is accepting that there are no big or little decisions. With every choice, you are either moving towards or away from achieving greatness. The beauty of The Fundamental Fears is the knowledge that whether failure is a constructive or destructive force is entirely dependent on you.

“Most people are not where they choose to be, but rather where their choices led them.” – Alexander Michael Gittens

2. Achieving greatness requires action.

Commit daily to increasing your efficiency, capacity, and output. Pause only for (1) the mindful consideration of the impact of your actions in success and failure, and (2) taking stock after a setback. Keep moving.

3. Achieving greatness is impossible independent of your highest values.

The dichotic role of the comfort zone in achieving greatness reminds you to first consider every action or opportunity against your highest personal convictions of what ought to be. Question if you are 100% comfortable with this path in your heart of hearts; ask yourself if the anticipated results promote the totality of your personal values.

4. Achieving greatness will not be comfortable.

Eschew external comfort for the determined acceptance that trying something new and scary is central to achieving greatness. Find no comfort in superficial “feel good” moments, for the commitment to the plight will bring welcome solace.

5. Achieving greatness requires failure.

The Fundamental Fears teach us that not only is failure not something to avoid, but in many cases, we do not have enough or the right combination of fears to optimally move forward. Embracing the true nature of failure is essential to achieving greatness.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” - Paulo Coelho

6. Achieving greatness requires getting up.

The Fundamental Fears reduced to a two-word mantra is “get up.” Without excuse, qualification, or exception, get up.

"There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

As a young businessperson, I worked incredibly hard, but I ignored my values and let fear limit my vision. I allowed the pursuit of money to distort my judgment and justify my actions. Because of this, I was forced to rebuild my life after my poor choices resulted in categorical failure. In the process of picking myself up, I learned these lessons, which have changed every facet of my life. They have given me purpose, which I lacked, and clarity, which I needed. But much more than that, they have given me peace. I understood, for the first time, no amount of money or success would pacify the anxiety I experienced chasing every external trapping of success. My fear of failure evolved into a fear of success. I no longer subscribe to a “coin flip” notion of achievement, with success on one side, failure on the other side, and nothing in between. I no longer evaluate my actions based on material wealth, status, or recognition. I long to be the best me. I accept any outcome resulting from my highest values, my best efforts, and my deepest passions. Reframing my hunger for “success” as a desire for “greatness” was the key. Not all successful people are great, but all great people are successful.

In quiet, yet determined, moments I remind myself that while I do not yet possess all of the skills and experience needed to become the highest expression of my talents, passions, and values, I do have the grit and determination necessary to get there. I am willing to fall flat on my face, because I know, without failure, I am not challenging myself nearly enough. I expect to fall, and I will always get back up.

An increasingly resolute phrase reverberates in my soul: I must fail again. I need the lessons that come from failure. I need the opportunity to pick myself up one more time. I need the growth that comes from experience and the insulation that builds resilience. I need the confidence that comes from knowing you've been through worse before, and you will get through it again. I will shake the fear of falling and embrace the hope of soaring, knowing the whole time, the silent success of getting back up builds the podium upon which my greatest accomplishments will be awarded. The process usurps the goal. The means supersede the ends. Faith replaces fear.

7. Achieving greatness is life’s most difficult and worthwhile challenge.

Achieving greatness will be the hardest thing you have ever done. Embrace it. It will often be tedious and frustrating. Endure it. At times, you will feel like giving in. Never give in. Instead, celebrate the blessing of waking up everyday to help change the world toward an affirmative vision that is distinctively yours. Relish the opportunity to provide value for people in a way that only you can. Fall in love with the process, and you have already won. The goal is neither building a different you, nor a better you. The prize is not money, power, or recognition, although they will come. Rather, the highest distinction is bestowed by gloriously creating the utmost positive impact for others through all of your intellectual, physical, and emotional attributes. Yes. Achieving greatness is becoming the ultimate expression of you.

I had it all wrong. I believed that achieving greatness was a privilege afforded only to (1) the rich and powerful with access to an abundance of capital and opportunity and (2) a lucky few in the good graces of fate. However, with appetite and access to the right kind of knowledge, achieving greatness becomes a mere question of will and willingness, not lot and luck. It is not a life and death question - that is of course hyperbole – but indeed, it becomes a life and living dichotomy. A steadfast commitment resolved in serenity and executed daily. A living hope rooted in reality and clung to tenaciously. The informed decision to perform only with the extreme probability of failure. The eager anticipation of falling for the simple opportunity to get up.