Fear of failure delays happiness

Has fear played a big role in your life? How has it impacted you doing the things you love to do? For a long time, I didn’t realize how big a role fear played in my life, or much I overcompensated because I was driven by fear.

When I was much younger I quit doing the things I loved out of fear of failure. Whether it was writing, singing, photography, or even gardening, I would simply not take part out of fear. Looking back, I realize that this attitude was a foolish one – on some level I was delaying my own happiness.

As I have grown older (and hopefully wiser) I am starting to do all these things again. The result is immense joy and a sense of achievement.

I may not be great at any of the above hobbies and interests, but I get immense pleasure out of trying. I really resonate with the Brené Brown quote: "We're all afraid. We just have to get to the point where we understand it doesn't mean that we can't also be brave." Admitting that we are afraid, but being brave enough to do something anyway is what courage looks like to me.

Tell Someone

In an article called: “To Build New Habits, Get Comfortable Failing,” Sabine Nawaz gives some sound advice. She suggests that it’s a good idea to make a commitment before chickening out of that big dream, and then tell that commitment to someone so there is some kind of accountability.

She writes, “There’s a window of opportunity between when we dream of our goal and before our self-protective reasons scream at us to retreat.”? When it comes to personal goals, of course, I share these with my wife. When it comes to business goals, the CEO of Palmetto Infusion David Goodall is a great one to share it with – his response will always be one of support.

Fear Dressed up as Procrastination

I have found that it’s really important to make a positive step towards your goal. The very act of doing seems to shift things along and give one a sense of direction, but doing nothing keeps you stuck in fear. There are so many instances both in business and in my personal life where I procrastinated and lost the moment.

In a Forbes article, titled “You’re not lazy, you’re scared: How to stop procrastinating”, Amy Blaschka quotes several experts who point out that procrastination is not about time management, but rather about fear of moving forward. Of taking that step into the unknown. I can relate, and I was definitely not alone.

Imposter Syndrome

For an HBR feature titled “What CEOs are Afraid of,” Roger Jones surveyed 116 CEOs. The fear that rose to the top was “imposter syndrome” – the fear of being undermined, and something I think every CEO at some stage of his or her career has gone through. I can certainly relate, and those feelings of self-doubt are very real, and something that one has to overcome in order to “steer the ship” and be a worthwhile leader. For me the big shift came when I changed my focus, instead of making everything about “me”, I shifted the paradigm to servant leadership – and that’s where I have been able to lead authentically – when I decided to leave my ego at the back door.

I found that facing my fears in every aspect of my life had a knock-on effect, and I am so pleased that I took those important first steps. And while my gardening, photography, and flying skills might not win awards (at this stage), I am there, I am present and I am having the time of my life. And that’s really what counts.