Fear of Failure

We first need to understand what "failure" actually means.

We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else.

The fear of failure is something that everyone experiences from time to time, but this can become much more problematic when such feelings become persistent. Practice self-compassion and work on taking small steps toward building your confidence and managing your fears.

Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called "amychophobia") is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.

Fear of failure can be linked to many causes. For instance, having critical or unsupportive parents is a cause for some people. Because they were routinely undermined or humiliated in childhood, they carry those negative feelings into adulthood.

Experiencing a traumatic event at some point in your life can also be a cause. For example, say that several years ago you gave an important presentation in front of a large group, and you did very poorly. The experience might have been so terrible that you became afraid of failing in other things. And you carry that fear even now, years later.

You might experience some or all of these symptoms if you have a fear of failure:

A reluctance to try new things or get involved in challenging projects.

Self-sabotage.

– for example, procrastination, excessive anxiety

, or a failure to follow through with goals.

Low self-esteem or self-confidence

– commonly using negative statements such as "I'll never be good enough to get that promotion," or "I'm not smart enough to get on that team."

Perfectionism – A willingness to try only those things that you know you'll finish perfectly and successfully.

Everyone hates to fail, but for some people, failing presents such a significant psychological threat their motivation to avoid failure exceeds their motivation to succeed. This fear of failure causes them to unconsciously sabotage their chances of success, in a variety of ways.

Failing can elicit feelings such as disappointment, anger , frustration, sadness, regret, and confusion that, while unpleasant, are usually not sufficient to trigger a full-blown fear of .motivation

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Thank you...Indeed, the term is somewhat of a misnomer because it is not failure per se that underlies the behavior of people who have it.

Rather, a fear of failure is essentially a fear of shame. People who have a fear of failure are motivated to avoid failing not because they cannot manage the basic emotions of disappointment, anger, and frustration that accompany such experiences but because failing also makes them feel deep shame.

Failure is personal. We take failure personally and forget that it's a universal human experience. Everyone experiences failure.

We compare ourselves to successful people and forget that they have also experienced many letdowns on their journey to the top.

As an example, consider the words of Michael Jordan, the legendary basketball player. He said, "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Let us also consider Thomas Edison who was the driving force behind innovations such as the light bulb and motion picture cameras. He said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

If legends such as Jordan and Edison have experienced failures then how could you or I be exempt from this universal experience? The key is not to take failure personally but recognize it as a valuable learning experience that we all go through.

I conceptualize opportunity as being offered a key that may unlock a door. Your life may improve by walking through it. Any time you take a chance, you are simply grabbing a key to unlock the door. What is the worst that can happen if the key fails to work? You are stuck in the same reality holding a seemingly useless key.

Remember that not taking any action towards your goals is the equivalent of declining a key. By falling for the fear of failure, you are guaranteeing the outcome. There is a zero percent chance of the door opening. Why not grab a key and give yourself a chance?

Want to add word or two?

There is no benefit to failure. We have a tendency to fixate on the negative aspects of failure and filter out its potential benefits. We avoid pursuing our goals because we dread the disappointment and shame that may result from failing.

However, we forget that failure is a valuable life experience because it provides us with a golden opportunity to learn and grow. I would even argue that we grow more from our failures than our successes.

Failure is emotionally painful because we interpret it as a personal indictment. When we fail, we experience shame and a reduction in self-worth.

Failure has no reflection on your self-worth. It may be an indication that you have room for personal growth and need to go back to the drawing board to hone your skills.

Your comment ….? 

A fear of failure can have a wide variety of causes. Some potential causes include:

Critical upbringing: People who grow up in households that are highly critical or unsupportive may be more likely to experience a fear of failure. Because they felt that they could never live up to their family's expectations during childhood, they may continue to fear making mistakes as adults. 

Definitions of failure: People often have different definitions of what failure means. For some people, it means not achieving something exactly as they planned. This can create a set of expectations that is very difficult to live up to.

Trauma: People who experienced a difficult or even traumatic failure may also be very afraid of repeating that experience in the future. Having a panic attack during a presentation or being ridiculed for your performance, for example, could contribute to feelings of fear. Negative consequences resulting from failure, such as losing a job or not getting into a college, can also be risk factors that contribute to the fear of failure.