A Fear of Failure is Absolute Rubbish... Or Is It?!

“Hard choices easy life. Easy choices hard life."― Jerzy Gregorek, Olympian

I'd love for you to take a few minutes to enjoy this email. To connect to yourself, get inspired by new thoughts and ideas, and feel fired up to live your absolute wildest dreams (on your terms).

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THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

Ep27: Extraordinary Life, Hard Choices. Mediocre Life, Easy Choices.

Ep26: Awakening? You WILL Exit A System (Healthcare, Education, Workplace)

FOLLOW and rate the podcast 5*'s - please and thank you!!

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For the last few months, I've been thinking of putting on a weekend live workshop here in Curacao.

I would have bursts of energy and ideas about what I'd do and where I'd hold the event, but then that energy and motivation would just fall off and dissipate.

It started to bother me because I actually love putting on live events. It's easy for me and I've always had great success from it.

I started to journal and ask myself, "what's going on Tre? Why aren't you getting this event started?"

... and the answer surprised me...

"I'm afraid it will fail."

WHAT?? I wrote back...

"I'm afraid it will fail. That no one will come. It will be a confirmation that nothing is working and you have no one around you anymore."

Man it was depressing to hear that voice. To hear that absolute rubbish and nonsense of an idea thrown at me!

Back in the early days of my business, I'd put on events in South Kensington London with zero people on my email list or social media. I loved it and created huge success out of nothing (that's the real me btw).

So what the heck was going on?! Was this voice absolute rubbish, or could there be some truth in what the voice was telling me?

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I've never met an entrepreneur who has explicitly told me, "I really want to delay my success! I want to reach my goals as painfully slow as possible, okay?".

In the real world, we want the money, the wins, the clients, the projects, the experiences, the growth -- and we want it now!!

...right?!

Well, maybe not. Unless you're Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka.

We might want these things because yeah, having a Golden Goose would be pretty epic. BUT... the real question is: Are we ready/strong enough to hold up the the thing we are asking for?

When I asked myself: do I have all the energy time and creativity required to put on a weekend event in Curacao to the standards that I want it to be?

And the honest answer that came back was NO.

I don't have the readiness or strength right now to make it happen:

• I've had my kids a lot during on summer holidays
• We've been on/off sick
• We traveled to Europe
• We had birthday parties and new schools and visa paperwork and a ton of family admin going on
• I am not at my best when I go between Mommy to Business to House Stuff to Mommy to Business

When I got really honest with myself, the Fear of Failure was actually trying to show me something. Quietly. Honestly. Truthfully.

Do you know what it was?

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As you probably sense intuitively...

(Nearly) anytime your delayed is because of:

1. You

You are the one slowing down or delaying your progress. (Yes there's a reason for it).

The 5 ways you delay your success :

1. Unchecked Fear. Allowing the fear of judgment, of failure, of looking stupid... to direct your thinking and lead to your choices.
2. Poor Performance Habits. Such as not knowing your Intentions or goals. Lacking focus. Emotional volatility.
3. Hitting repeat. Getting caught in doing the same thing every day. Repeating habits. Using boring, stale ideas.
4. Conformity. Doing what everyone else does. Playing by the rules. People-pleasing. Fitting in.
5. Playing small. Only doing what you know will work. What is guaranteed. Playing safe.

For me, the fear of failure was causing ALL OF THESE OTHER THINGS to happen.

I actually blamed myself for not putting on an event as a lapse in character of "choosing to play small".

Except when I realized fear had some seeds of wisdom in it, I was able to RELAX.

I was delaying with purpose. I was delaying intentionally. I was delaying in order to reach the place when I would be 100% ready.

When I realized that, I felt like I had received a huge gift! A weight lifted off of me. And I stopped splitting my energy in a million directions.

I'm curious about you. Do you feel your success is delayed in some way? Want to take 10 minutes to find out what's really going on?

COACHING EXERCISE.

--> Please HIT REPLY to this email, type your answers directly into the email, and then send it back to me!!

1. Where do you feel you're holding yourself back in business right now? Maybe it's to take a specific action, or you're delaying to create something, or you're ?noticing patterns like procrastination or hesitation showing up.

Just write down the thing that you're delaying.

2. If you got honest with yourself, which Fear do you have that is delaying your success?

• Deep down, are you afraid you can't handle everything coming in at once?
• Are you afraid of being seen as an imposter?
• Are you afraid of failing?

Something else?

3. Great. And how come you think this particular Fear is here right now? What is it trying to show you? What's the reason it's here?

Allow yourself to go one level below the Fear. Try to see any truth or honesty in what the fear is bringing up for you.

This will help lift you out of blame and self deprecation that the fear likely stirs up, and brings you into a more observer energy with the situation.

4. Next, what do you want to do with that reason?

When I realized I didn't have the headspace or energy to put on an event to my standards, I allowed myself to PUT THE IDEA DOWN.

I gave myself grace and permission to not hold an event in the Summer, and put it on my radar to circle back in the Fall.

Which I am 1000% doing right now! :)

What about you?

(Please email me at [email protected] and send me your answers. I'd love to have a personal back and forth with you on this)

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I hope you got a lot from today's email and this week's podcast episodes.

This is the power of personal growth. Of self reflection. And of not allowing your unconscious mind run the show.

Thank you for your precious time in joining me this morning and I'll see you on the podcast this week -- and via email next Saturday.

I love you. Let's go.

xx Tracey

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Co-Founder and International Coach at Liv.Lit! Coaching and Training

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